He stared from across the clearing, terrified. He could feel his legs shaking, his mind becoming a mess. He could feel the uncomfortable warmth coursing through his body. His eyes widened, absolutely horrified to discover Evan.

He laid at the base of the tree, across from Connor. He was drapped over the ground, his disheveled head of hair covering his eyes as he continued being motionless. Half of his body was submerged in the shadow created by the tall tree behind him, and the other half bathing in the moonlight. There were leaves strewn about, decorating his blue shirt with speckles of green. From the way Evan was position, from the way Evan remained motionless, Connor could only think of the worst.

Evan did it.

He jumped.

He threw himself out of a tree.

He glanced up at the tree, still feeling the strong and cold wind of the night rushing against his skin, the cold and unforgiving harshness of a slap that was Evan's decision to jump. The tree stretched up high, rustling quietly in the wind.

He then looked back down at Evan's body, absolutely heartbroken. The way his body laid there unmoving. The same person that laughed at his jokes, the same pair of lips that he had kissed a few days prior, the same eyes he received a loving gaze from, the same arms he receives hugs from.

Connor's body moved on its own, adrenaline kicking in. He slowly started taking one step. Then another. Soon he felt his body rushing towards Evan. He felt his heart beating quickly, loudly in his ears. He heard his brain going dead silent. He couldn't exactly feel anything anymore.

He stood in front of Evan's body, absolutely mortified. His knees felt extremely weak, suddenly unable to hold his body up. He slowly slide down, now sitting on the soft grass, legs on either sides. He heard the loud rustle as his body landed onto the grass, causing the leaves strewn about to fly up, and then gently swaying left to right, and finally landing on the grass once more.

All he could hear around him was the quiet buzzing of insects, a loud cricket, and the deafening silence of the night in his ears. Suddenly, the truth slapped him across the face again.

Evan did it.

Connor felt tears flowing down his cheeks. He bit his lips, attempting to muffle his cries, silence his sorrow. His vision became blurry, as he continued to cry at the sight of Evan.

—————

Zoe sprinted about, her eyes still glancing around the find any sign of a person. She would run, trying her very best to dodge tree after tree. She could only hear the loud rustling of grass as she ran through the forest, the sound of her panting filling the air.

She felt hopeless. There was no way she could find Evan, and that hurt her a lot. An image of her brother's weak body as he cried on her shoulders flashed before her eyes, reminding her of the reason she needed to find Evan.

To fix Connor.

Evan was the only person who had ever made Connor change that much. He did something Zoe tried to do, and succeeded. He accomplished something Zoe had failed to do. He had done something that Zoe thought was impossible. He made Connor a better person.

She could only imagine the pain he feels if Evan were to disappear.

This sparked something in Zoe. Adrenaline. It was as if she found new meaning by recollecting her thoughts. She found a new purpose to search for Evan. She needed him to continue helping Connor. She needed him to continue with loving Connor. She needed him to help Connor in ways she cannot, because she was incapable.

Her brows furrowed, as she ran through the forest at a faster rate, feeling her lungs burn, feeling her feet screaming for her to stop. But she didn't. She couldn't. If they couldn't find Evan, it's as good as saying they'll never see Connor again. The real Connor.

She ran, at this point throwing up her lungs when a glint caught her eye.

She noticed a clearing to her right. The beautiful moonlight casting an angelic halo onto the circle of grass and leaves. She would have skipped over the clearing entirely, if it hadn't been for her eyes catching something black in colour standing out in the moonlight. Thus caused her to stop running. She halted in place, staring at the object in question.

Because she was running for so long, the backlash from her overworking body lead to her panting really hard, almost unable to stand up and her body seemed to fill with warmth. She took a few seconds to try and calm her heart, breathing slower. Her throat felt absolutely parched, and she felt so very tired.

After a few seconds, she glanced up at the black thing hidden behind the tree. She noticed how this thing attached to the black was soft-looking, almost like fabric hanging off of the back. Immediately she realised what that was.

That was Connor's hoodie.

Adrenaline kicked in, causing her legs to start moving towards the clearing as quickly as she could, just to catch a glimpse of Connor. She ran, barely at the edge of the clearing. The moonlight did not touch her, but the shadows of the forest enveloped her in a cold and ruthless embrace. She noticed Connor squating on the ground, his hand on either sides as he sat before Evan. She noticed that his shoulders shook in a silent cry, as Evan continued to lay motionless in front of him.

Zoe scanned the scene, and immediately she felt herself gasp loudly. She gripped onto the tree beside her, leaning against it for support as her chest heaved and overworked to allow her to breathe. She understood what happened, and soon her nose soured. She felt warm tears roll down her cheek, the radiant warmth defying the cold breeze against her skin.

Connor noticed that Zoe was beside him, but he did not stop crying. He did not feel as if he could stop crying even if he tried. He felt as if every meaning he had in his life collapsed right there and then. Every amazing feeling of love and happiness he felt had just melted away, right there.

He heard Zoe's quiet whimpers, and that only made him cry even more. Everything about Evan flashed before his eyes. All of the amazing memories that they had, all zooming in his mind.

The feeling of immense intrigue when he first saw Evan, guiding him to write his letter. The intense feeling of depression as he realised how sad it would be for Evan to reject his offer of friendship. The great sense of relief when he saw him wonder towards the front entrance of the school, meeting eye to eye with Connor.

The strange palpitations in his chest when he earned Evan's friendship, when they went to the orchard together, when he grabbed Evan's hand to guide him into the orchard. The nervousness he felt as they became closer friends, as he felt his mouth open and ask Evan for a hug when they bonded.

The intense feeling of love, when he first discovered that he had a crush on Evan Hansen, the strange wanting to hold his hand and kiss him, to tell him that he loved him with all his heart. The huge sense of relief when he heard Evan confess his feelings to him behind the school, but the following fear when he realised that Evan had ran away.

Even now, he could still recollected the feeling of excitement and happiness, when he finally told Evan how he felt about him.

And now, he lies in front of Connor, completely gone.

Connor felt his own hand twitch, as he slowly reached forward. He hesitated, flinching as he felt Evan's soft hand touching the tip of his middle finger. He retreated, absolutely terrified to touch Evan at all. He soon shook off his sense of fear, reaching forward and enveloping Evan's hand in his own, feeling more tears flow out as his own hand gently squeezed Evan's.

"E-Evan, I-I…fuck…" Connor muttered, feeling more tears flowing down his cheeks and dropping onto Evan's hand.

"I should have fucking told you how much I loved you…I should have told you how you were everything to me. I should have just hugged you close, telling how much you've changed my life."

Zoe walked her way towards Connor, gently sitting down on the ground with him. She could not even bare to listen to him talk, as she herself had been quietly sobbing. She could not bare to watch Connor spill his tears. Hell, she had not ever properly seen Connor cry. In fact, that made this all the more sadder. The first person that Connor actually loved fully. The first person that gave Connor love. The first person Connor felt a real connection to just left the world, and Connor had done something he had never done ; cry in front of others.

His grip on Evan's had tightened a little, as more tears flowed from his face.

"I fucking wish I could kiss you one more time, hug you one more time, just tell you how much I loved you. I wish you were still around to hear that, you were—" Connor paused, shaking his head in disagreement— "no, well. Are. You are the person I loved from the bottom of my heart."

Connor could no longer feel any sense of happiness. He could only feel despair. Despair upon despair, creating the most devastating despair he had ever felt in his life. It was far more intense than all of his depressive episodes combined. It was more intense than anything he had ever held. His mind could not comprehend how he was able to feel such a strong emotion, such strong despair.

He felt himself chuckle.

He thought he was laughing.

He wasn't laughing.

He was sobbing.

He could not bare to hold back his sobs anymore. In fact, he could hear himself sobbing. He could feel a strong sense of vulnerability, something he hated feeling before he met Evan. He hated to have others prey on such a feeling of weakness. It was only until he became friends with Evan did he even know it was possible to have others love and cherish him.

Zoe, noticing his brother breaking down, reached her hand and placed it on his back. She started slowly stroking his back, trying her best to calm both him and herself down. All she did was make him slouch over, covering his face and letting all his tears out.

Zoe felt herself cover her mouth, attempting to hold back her sobs and hold back her cries.

Connor hunched forward, leaning down and hugging onto Evan's body. He gripped onto Evan's polo, trying to grasp for any notion that he could move right now. That he could just sit up and say he was fine, that he could just hug Connor right now. He clawed at Evan's body, practically bawling as Zoe tried her very best to not get emotional.

Suddenly, he felt a twitch from Evan's body.

Connor flinched, immediately throwing his entire upper body backwards. This caused Zoe to flinch as well, retracting her hands just as Connor ducked back. They both stare at Evan's body, expecting something else to happen.

Connor snapped out of his thoughts, noticing how he and her sister had been frozen in place, eyes red with tears and unable to comprehend what happened. Connor then reached forward, lifting Evan up from his position of laying face down.

He lifted Evan up, and placed his head in his arms, intently staring at Evan's face, searching for some sign of Evan waking up. His eyes scanned Evan's face, trying to see a twitch of the eyes, a twitch of his nose, something to indicate that he was alive.

That's when it happened.

Evan's eyes started to flutter open.

Immediately, Connor felt the despair he felt completely vanish from his heart. He could feel his heart filling with hope, absolutely amazed that Evan was awake. He felt all of the hope he had lost, all of the meaning of living he had lost return to him with Evan's one brief action.

Immediately, he grinned. He stared at Evan's beautiful face with so much happiness he could feel his heart burst.

"Evan!" Connor excitedly called. Zoe sat beside Connor, quietly gasping as she wondered how it was possible for Evan to have awoken from supposed death. Evan's hand slowly reached upwards, weakly cupping Connor's face.

"C-Connor…?"