"Fucking hell!"

Connor screams, slamming his fist onto the wall beside the door of his room. He kept punching it, over and over again until his knuckles bled, until it started to hurt. He was tearing up, and he was angry. The punches sounded around the house, loud thud rhythmically following his bellow. All of his current emotions went into these punches and screams, and he felt like his heart was being broken into two.

Zoe rushes back into the house, panicking as she gripped at her hair in frustration and paced around. Jared tried his very best to be calm, but he was far from it. He was stumbling to get a grip of his phone, as his hands trembled. Alana stood at the door, ready to have a full scale search party as well as a full on panic attack.

Zoe rushes up the stairs, barely stepping onto the wooden planks of the second floor when she saw her own brother staring back at her. His eyes burned with anger, with sadness, with pain. It gave her the most uncomfortable feeling, seeing the little musical notes around his head melt into a black and gray background behind his entire body, almost like the depths of the unknown, the depths of despair.

"Connor," Zoe heard herself shout, as if all of the pent up rage from within of the many suspicions of Connor and Evan's relationships, of her own horrible bond between Connor and herself being emphasised behind this scream, "what the hell did you do?"

Connor responded with a snarl, offended by the accusations and shouted back at Zoe with the same amount of anger.

"Me? Why don't fucking ask Evan?"

"Evan?" Zoe responded, her acidic tone practically spilling onto every single word she managed to spit out at Connor, "what the fuck do you mean?"

"He's the one who wants to fucking break up with me for no damn reason!"

Zoe was taken aback. Her eyes widened, as she saw the black and gray background behind Connor flicker, almost like an old television. The flickering allowed gaps between lines, like a glitchy program. From those gaps, blue started seeping out. Not bright blue, a deep, sad blue. She heard footsteps behind her and assumed that Jared and Alana had arrived upstairs behind her, having heard everything Connor yelled.

"Are you fucking shitting me, Connor?" Jared yelled from behind Zoe, making her let go of the breath she didn't even realise that she had been holding. She turned around, seeing Jared. His face was molded into pure anger, gritting his teeth as his brows furrowed.

This was the first time that she had ever seen Jared angry, and it absolutely terrified her. His anger practically radiated off of him, causing a feeling of distraught in her heart as she watched him scream at Connor.

"What the fuck do you want, Kleinman," Connor replied, getting more and more infuriated. This ticked Jared off even more than he had been before. He stormed up to Connor, his foot slamming down onto the wood and causing a loud creaking. He marched up to Connor, gripping him by the collar and staring straight in his eyes.

Jared's anger filled eyes, burning with all of the wrath he could muster, glared into Connor's infuriating eyes filled with a mixture of sadness and anger.

"You want to fucking explain why Evan ran out of those doors-" his free hand shot towards the direction of the front doors of the house, as his grip on Connor's collar grew stronger- "from out of your fucking room, Connor?"

Jared was seething with rage, and it definitely did not help when Connor seemed like he was pinning the mistake on Evan. This was when Alana stepped in. She could not bare to see them fighting any longer. As much as she agreed with Jared on his stance, she voted to be neutral.

"Guys, cut it out," she shouted, calling the attention of all three. She then marched her way in between Jared and Connor, pushing them apart. Despite Jared's reluctance to let go, he released Connor from his grip and turned away, folding his arms in rage.

"Our main priority is to find Evan," Alana spat out, mustering as much courage as possible to be as merciless as she could in order to get her point across, "not for you two idiots to start bickering."

As much as Jared hated to see Connor get out unscathed, he turned to Alana with a nod.

"I don't fucking care if none of you believe me," Connor started, which only made Jared much more furious. He could see Jared clutching his fist, almost ready to throw a punch at Connor for even speaking.

"Connor Murphy, I swear to God if you say another word, I will fucking rip your intestine out through your mouth and fucking strangle you with it!" Jared screamed as he started to edge towards Connor. This prompted Alana to block him, holding him back and refraining him from trying to attack Connor. Connor glared at all three of them, a non-chalant look, while Jared tried to fight his way out of Alana's grip.

"I'm going to look for Ev on my own-"

Zoe felt her hand twitch, as it flew upwards. She swung her arm and slapped Connor right across his face, leaving a bright red mark. Connor, stunned by the sudden slap, lifted his hand to cover the spot on his cheek that burned. He slowly turned back to Zoe, noticing that she was looking down. Her shoulders shook of a silent cry, as she clutched her fists, hands on either sides.

She slowly looked up, Connor noticing the streaks of tears flowing down her cheek. She moved forward, wrapping her arms around his neck and giving him a hug. Now that she was closer to him, so she could see that the black background now had wider gaps, more deep blue flowing through.

"Stop lying, Connor."

Connor's eyes widened as she spoke that sentence. Her voice had been extremely soft. It sounded as if she was tired of the whole situation. Connor felt his tense shoulder slump down, from being shocked by how she sounded. Like she's given up on trying to be angry.

Jared and Alana stared at the siblings, wondering how this scene will play out although Jared could still feel his seething rage bubbling inside him. Connor did not know what to do, or what to say. All he could do was just stand and listen.

"I know you're upset about Evan, you can't lie to me."

Connor felt his vision blur. His nose sours, and he could feel tears falling down his face and onto Zoe's clothes. As sudden as the sentence reached his ears, Connor dropped to the ground, Zoe dropping down with him.

He just started crying. He started crying, and bawling. He tried his very best to keep all his emotions together, and the words of his sister shattered all that. He couldn't feel worse about Evan deciding to leave him, he couldn't feel worse about having to keep his emotions together. He just felt fucking horrible. So at fault that he wanted to fix it by himself.

Zoe silently hugged Connor, allowing him to cry on her shoulders. Jared saw Connor breaking down, and immediately felt a tinge of regret. Connor's impulsiveness to snap at others was not purely out of rage, but also out of sadness, out of panic.

Out of everyone here, he took the blow of Evan wanting to break up with him the worst. He might not look like he cared all that much, but on the inside, he was hurting so very badly. The sudden confession did not help any better.

Jared walked up to Connor, squatting down next to him. He then leaned forward, giving him a hug. Alana, who had been tearing up along with Connor, also followed Jared's example and went over to hug him. This only made Connor feel worse, as he felt all of his friends hug him to comfort him.

Connor felt himself gripping onto Zoe's shirt, which made Jared notice that blood stain that was on his knuckles. He deduced that the injury was caused by his infuriation and impulsiveness, and he leaned away. He pulled Connor up, breaking apart their hug and dragging Connor towards his own room.

Connor, tired of fighting his emotions, just let Jared lead him into his room, where Jared sat him down. Zoe and Alana followed them, both starting to notice the bleeding hand. Jared left the room quickly, returning with a roll of gauze bandages, a bottle of rubbing alcohol and a piece of cloth.

"This is all I can do right now," Jared spoke, lifting Connor's hand up. He noticed the redness and the swelling of his hand, as well as the focused look Connor had on something on his mind. He ignored the look from Connor, and applied the rubbing alcohol on the cloth. He then pressed the side dowsed with rubbing alcohol onto Connor's injuries. Connor hissed, feeling the strong burning sensation in his hand. He tried to retract his hand out of instinct, but Jared gripped onto his wrist, not letting him pull his hand away.

After that, Jared wrapped Connor's hand with the gauze bandages, careful not wrap it up too tight, pining the clip to secure it in place. He stood up, impressed with his own skill as Connor glanced down at his hand. It felt warm and yet soft, like a sweater for his hands. He clutched his hand into a fist and then opening it up, feeling better in his hand.

Connor then looked up at the three of them, determination in his eyes to search for Evan. Zoe came up with a plan. She knew that Connor and Jared knew Evan better than anyone, so they split themselves into teams. Zoe with Connor, Jared with Alana. After assigning them to their seperate location, information from both Jared and Connor, they went off on their search. Jared and Alana were assigned to Evan's house, and Connor and Zoe were assigned with the orchard.

Immediately, Zoe and Connor bolt to Zoe's car, getting in as quickly as they could. Both of them practically slammed the door shut as Zoe started up the engine. It was only then did Connor noticed that the sun was setting. This caused everything around them to be submerged in a layer of golden, as the sunset illuminated the sky with a mixture of blue, orange and yellow.

Zoe started driving, stepping onto the gas pedal and the whole car started moving forward.

Throughout the drive, Zoe would glance over to Connor. She would see the black, gray and blue background meld into another strange colour. It would mix, blending into a strange blue. Sadness was evident on his expression, she noted, as she turned back to the front. She glared at the road, feeling her grip on the driver's wheel getting stronger and stronger.

-----

They stopped in front of the orchard, after Zoe managed to find a parking spot nearby. They were out of breath, running the whole time from the house to the orchard. Zoe was struggling to keep running, but Connor was the opposite. Although he could hear the pounding of his heart against his chest, he did not even think to stop.

He was way too worried about Evan's decision if he were to be here.

Both of them were now staring at the cobblestone arc lined with plants, as the sky turned a deep blue colour. The lamps stuck to the walls also lit up, providing a dim light to the entire orchard. Connor stepped through the arc quickly, followed by Zoe.

They split up, searching two different halfs of the orchard that was overgrown with plants and flowers. Connor ran through the dense tall grass, hearing the loud shuffling of the grass as he sifted his way through. His heart was pounding loudly against his chest. He could feel the burning sensation in his legs, the irritating itch as the plants stab at his foot.

He didn't care.

All that was on his mind was to find Evan and get him to start explaining. He couldn't even care less if he started bleeding at the legs, as long as he had managed to get Evan to talk.

He was a little scared to venture into the forest. It was getting dark, so the forest in the orchard was relatively dark. The moonlight shining on the forest provided just enough light for Connor to see. Barely.

Instead of rationally thinking of a plan, Connor just rushed in. He wasn't in the mood to think. He wasn't in the mood to care. He just wanted Evan back. If Evan really was here, Connor's heart was anxious about what Evan might think to do. The sudden despariging thought brought him back to attention, his eyes scanning for Evan with more anxiety.

Connor glanced around, his hands quick to break his rush as he runs into trees. As he came close to running into a tree, he would press his hand against the bark, feeling its rough texture as he pushed himself away. He would then continue running, trying to spot for a tuft of brown hair, his blue polo T-shirt.

On one hand, he felt urgent to find Evan. He felt desperate to just get a look of him, any indication that he was there at all. Just to pull him close and hug him, just to tell him how worried Connor had been when Evan dashed out, just to tell him how much he loved him.

On the other, he didn't want to see Evan. He was in a forest, for crying out loud. If Evan had ran here, he might be contemplating suicide once again. Connor did not want to find Evan, only to discover that he had been too late, only to discover that he could have saved him had he been a little quicker in his steps.

The thought of Evan on the ground, unable to smile again, unable to laugh, unable to love Connor again sent shudders through his body. It shocked him to the point he had a moment where he felt afraid to continue his search for Evan. Almost as quickly as the fear popped into his head, Connor shook away any thought of Evan's death.

He continued searching about, when he noticed a clearing. The clearing was beautiful. The bright moonlight elegantly shining on that small area, causing all the grass to seemingly sparkle in place. He could see that the sky was now a dark blue, the bright shine of the moonlight elegantly lighting up the forest.

The view would have been breathtaking, if it weren't for something horrific.

Connor ran towards the clearing, staring at the base of the tree across from him. The sight immediately made his heart drop. His eyes widened, as he came into a halt. For the first time in a while, he was standing still. All of the energy from earlier had suddenly left his body.

He was panting. His thighs burned. His lungs burned. Everything hurt. His chest was rising and falling so quickly, his throat felt so parched. Not only that, now his heart hurt the worst.

He saw Evan at the base of the tree, drapping over the ground, not moving an inch. He gasped, feeling tears threatening to fall. His heart sank.

"E-Evan?"