Oh dear god, why did that happen?

As you can tell, Evan was extremely shaken up.

He had managed to talk to Connor Murphy, who was not known as the most friendliest person in the world by any means. He was known purely for his temper and his drug intake, why gave him an extremely horrible name for himself. It was still unbelievable that he approached Evan.

Well, at least he could tell Doctor Sherman about this.

Doctor Sherman was Evan's therapist. Since Evan had a very severe case of social anxiety, his mother, the wonderful and kind Heidi Hansen, arranged therapy sessions for him, to try his best to overcome this social anxiety, at least to the point where he can talk to others without any issues.

It's been working really well, actually. From what happened with Connor, of course. His heart was still beating against his chest loudly, a nervous wreck from talking to someone else, but he had done better than ever before. Usually, he would collapse into a puddle of goo, unable to continue talking.

He breathed, trying to calm his heart rate as he watched the Murphy's drive off.

His hand wondered to his pocket again, pulling it out and holding it over his chest with both hands. He was excited, nervous and scared, all mixed up in one feeling in his heart.

Evan grinned, the whole way from school to home. His cheek were hurting a bit, but he still loved the thought of having a friend to talk to.

He reached home, unlocking the front door and threw his bag towards the little couch in the middle of the room, shutting and locking the door, before happily landing on the couch, careful not to jump on it.

He was so excited and filled with joy he couldn't contain himself, honestly.

He wanted to text Connor immediately, right this instant, to talk about something, anything. He couldn't wait to talk to Connor, and he could feeling himself squealing out of excitement.

No, I have to play it cool.

Evan decided that texting Connor immediately kind of made him seem incredibly creepy and desperate for attention, as if he was this stalker. So, he decided to organise himself, just as a way to seem like he had been busy.

From now, he glanced over at the clock which read four. He kept it as homework time, till six. Six to seven, email writing assignment that Doctor Sherman assigned him. Then, he can text Connor and-

Wait...

He was awfully worked up. Now, he kinda sounded like a creep who just wanted to stalk Connor. He felt his heart beating again, excitement flowing through him.

Urgh, he was a mess.

Why?

Easy!

Evan Hansen has a crush on Connor Murphy, that's why.

He never told anyone. Not even his own mother. It was kinda scary to tell anyone, really. Connor Murphy? In love with Evan Hansen? Never in a million years. Evan didn't even expect to have Connor approach him for a friendship, much less a relationship.

The reason nobody thought Evan could be in love with him was because of who others assumed was his crush. Zoe Murphy. The literally opposite. For example, yesterday. Jared was teasing him about his crush being Zoe Murphy. Evan heard the name Murphy, and blush, his mind wondering to Connor and his beautiful features. Like his hair, or his eyes.

How did they come up with that? Hilariously, Evan mistakenly blurted out Connor's name when they asked, but they all heard Murphy, so they assumed Evan meant Zoe as everyone would understand. Zoe was the perfect girl. Good grades, nice personality, and she was good looking.

But Evan loved Connor because of how amazingly he was. He was confident, outspoken, and everything that was the opposite of Evan.

He sat down on the floor next to the couch, shoved his hands into his bag and brought out all the homework that he had received today. Quite a bit, but Evan rarely procrastinates, a skill that is incredibly hard to come by.

He focused, burning his way through all of the homework. The geography homework about monsoons, the maths homework about logarithms, and other stuff, which took him about two hours. Echoing of pen against paper in the quiet house for two hours.

At this point, he was a bit exhausted. Still on the floor, he laid his back against the couch, and just sank into it. It felt nice to relax all his muscles.

He took a minute to pop all his bones, before prepping his mind for another intense focus session. He felt around in his bag for a giant, rectangular plastic item, and pulled it out. His own computer.

He opened up a word document, getting read to write to himself, get some pep talk out of the way.

Dear Evan Hansen,

The loud sound of taps echoed in his ears.

Today is going to be a good day, and here's why. Today, you became friends with Connor Murphy, the one true love of your life.

Evan thought about his sentence for a bit, blushing really hard at the thought of Connor, and then erasing the last part.

Dear Evan Hansen,

Today is going to be a good day, and here's why. Today, you became friends with Connor Murphy.

You've taken such a great step forward, talking to people and actually making friends! I really hope that you're going to be making more friends, going out with them and other stuff! Keep it up!

Soon, you'll have so many friends that you'll regret not doing this sooner! Please remember that you can ask people to be your friend. They do not mind! They just want someone else to start the conversation.

You can do it!

Your closest and dearest friend,

Me

Evan smiled, proud of the letter. What he wrote was real. He actually meant it. He really...

Maybe he didn't need that many friends.

Maybe...

Maybe a few best friends will be good enough.

He didn't really want to get his hopes up too much. The greater the hope, the greater the disappointment.

He slowly kept everything, carefully placing them in his backpack, zipping it up and lumping it to the side. He quickly shoved his hand in his pocket, digging out his phone. Then he realised something.

Oh right, bathing.

A little disappointed that he still couldn't get to talk to Connor, but hey, he could always do it later.

-----

Evan pressed the towel against his body, allowing it to soak up the water. He quickly got dressed, basically jumping on his bed as he held his phone. He was shaking with anticipation, lying on his stomach. He was careful on not letting his injured press against the bed and cause more pain, propping it with a pillow.

He clicked on the contact, and searched his way down to Connor's name.

He clicked the little WhatsApp icon to the left, opening the chat app with Connor's name on the top. His wallpaper of the wonderful green nature scenery shining back in his face.

He hovered his fingers over the "H" and "E" keys, his body warming up. He took a deep breath, exhaled, and then started typing his message.

A simple hello, but it'll do. Nothing to say afterwards though. He held down the backspace button, deleting his message. He stared at the little blinking line on the screen, where the chat box is.

He exited out by pressing the home button, turning over to his back and spreading his arms out.

"Urgh," he said, covering his eyes with his left arm and giving a toothy smile. "I'm so hopeless about him."

He rolled back onto his stomach, and propped a pillow below his casted arm. He then took another deep breathe, and exhaled.

He tapped quickly, seeing the word hello appear in the chat box as the small little blue bar at the end of the word blinked. Trying to be even remotely brave, he tapped the send button without a hint of hesitation.

What he didn't, or maybe he did, expect was the wave of regret and hesitation came after he entered and sent his message. He saw the little message pop up in front of the wallpaper, a green speech bubble leaning towards the right.

｛Hello｝

And he panicked. He was just telling at himself for even thinking of sending it. He stared at the little words below Connor's name, last seen today at 2.34pm.

He then noticed Connor's profile picture. It kinda looked like a sort of weird looking face in front of a black screen. Curious, he tapped on the little icon, and it expanded out for Evan to see. A shot of what seemed like the galaxy. Beautiful shades of colour, black, purple and a dark blue, blending together, with sprinkles of bright stars.

"Hm," Evan spoke out loud as no one was home and he didn't have to worry about his mom walking in on him talking to himself, "cool."

Evan looked to the top of his phone, the little notification icon popped up for WhatsApp. Evan excitedly tapped the back button at the bottom, and returned to the chat interface.

He saw the information below Connor's name now as online. A white speech bubble appeared, leaning on the left of the screen.

｛Who is this?｝

Evan giggled, almost like an excited little child. He had to physically slap his own face to get out of his little excitement phase, and then started typing to respond to Connor. On his face, a huge grin.

｛Uh, Hi! It's Evan.｝

Evan looked at the information below Connor's name switch from online to typing... and occasionally switches back and forth.

｛oh um hahaha hi man｝

Evan smiled harder, as if that was even possible.

｛I, uh. I don't exactly have anything to talk about? Hahaha｝

He saw the little notification switch back and forth again, kinda anticipating for Connor to come up with something to talk about.

｛hahahaha me neither man. Idk I got nth｝

Evan chuckled, and tapped on the letters on his screen once more.

｛Maybe, we can learn some stuff about each other?｝

Evan was gonna leave it at that, but as a very social awkward person with no sense of calming down when it comes to talking, he felt that he needed to say what he meant clearly.

｛I mean as in because we're friends now and stuff.｝

｛uh, yea. of course｝

｛uh, favourite colour?｝

｛oh, uh, kines black｝

｛mines*｝

Evan was excited that the conversation started to blossom on it's own, without his control. It's just nice to chat with someone without worrying about maintaining it.

｛as if that wasnt already obvious enough.｝

｛Hahahahaha｝

Evan liked talking to Connor. It's nice. He was much kinder compared to how he acts in real life. It was honestly soothing to know that he wouldn't be as intimidated to talk to him about anything.

｛hey, um｝

｛thx for being my friend, ev｝

｛Yeah, same to you!｝

｛Uh, Ev?｝

Evan was amused. Not necessarily shocked. Ev, as a nickname? Oh dear, fantasies of a relationship blossomed in his head, making his entire face bloom with a dark shade of red.

｛oh, nickname man.｝

｛i can stop if u dont like it｝

Evan panicked, quickly tapping his sentence out to reply.

｛No!｝

｛I really like it!｝

Evan waited nervously, staring at the little grey ticks turning a bright blue as Connor started to type a response back.

｛oh, hahahaha okay ev｝

｛r u mad?｝

｛No, no! I'm not mad!｝

｛I'm just surprised, is all.｝

Evan was melting into a mess of pure panic. He was scared that he was making Connor feel uncomfortable, even though it's actually the other way round.

｛so anyways i was reading this book｝

Evan read the text, smiling to himself. He didn't really take Connor for the book reading type, honestly. He seemed too disconnected with all those around him to be quietly reading, with little reading glasses and his hair tied back in a messy little bun, sitting near a window while the light of a sunset shone on his face-

Oh, dear. Another fantasy. Evan's face felt hot.

He quickly typed.

｛Oh?｝

｛and like｝

｛the main character was like fking destroying the tanks and shit with her fire power.｝

｛hwr name is nat btw｝

｛and i just had this moment of｝

｛holy shit thats me @ the world｝

｛her*｝

Evan chuckled to himself, reading the text Connor sent. He could picture Connor geeking out, and he looked so damn adorable in his mind.

｛Hahahahaha｝

｛I didn't expect you to read books regularly, to be honest.｝

Was that bad? Maybe he shouldn't have sent that to Connor? Oh god, Connor probably hates him-

｛yea, get that alot.｝

｛but im a book nerd｝

Evan smiled, chuckling to himself.

They had texted each other for a while now. An hour passed? Maybe two? Evan didn't know, but he didn't really care. He just wants to talk to Connor.

Just any random thoughts that came to their mind. At this point, they've bonded quite a bit. Evan got to share his fondness for trees, since he worked as an apprentice park ranger for a bit. Connor shared about his skill in make up, since Zoe always asks him to help her.

As much as he hated it, Evan realised that it was late. He needed to sleep.

｛Oh, I have to go to sleep now.｝

｛School night.｝

Connor is typing...

｛nuuuu, dont leave me ev｝

This attitude made Evan's heart swell with love and joy. How, oh how, he wished it wasn't just a joke. How he wished that Connor have actually wanted Evan.

｛Hahahah we can always talk in school!｝

He saw Connor typing something, but then changed to online for a bit, as though he was contemplating on sending something, before his text appeared.

｛hahaha yea see u tmr ev｝

Evan smiled to himself, sad that he had no choice but to end the conversation, but happy that he started it to begin with.

｛Hahahaha see you!｝

With that, Evan shut off his phone. He had been charging it when he was talking to Connor, so it should be full. He then shut off his phone, placed his phone delicately on the nightstand, and tucked himself to sleep.