《Dear Crush! | A Dear Evan Hansen Fanfiction |》Dear Evan Hansen
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Connor opened the door of his mother's car, silently sitting down and slamming the door, shifting his way inward after he shut the door. A few seconds after, Zoe appeared, opening the door along with allowing the loud chattering sound of students fill the car. She sat the down as shut the door, drowning the sound of those outside and allowing the soft whirring of the air conditioning.
Zoe was smiling as she entered the car, which spread the smile to Cynthia, who was ecstatic to know why her daughter had been so chipper.
"What are you so cheerful about, dear?" Cynthia asked from the driver's seat, over the sound of the air-conditioning whiring in the background. Zoe, who had been tapping on her phone and smiling, looked up, her smile faltering just a bit.
"I-uh... I got an A+ for my test."
Immediately, Connor sniffed out a lie, but he kept quiet.
"Oh, that's amazing, honey!"
Cynthia was always the enthusiastic type, which was quite contradictory when compared to Connor. The same can be said for Zoe. They were like Ying and Yang, except that they don't work well together.
The drive back to their house was rather annoying, at least to Connor. His Mom put up some old Nickelback songs she found in the garage, which was annoying after the song kept looping for a few times, while his sister kept tapping on the phone, giving off a loud clicking sound as he nails tapped onto the screen.
But Connor kept quiet.
He was excited, more than usual, to get to his room. He wanted to write something, an email, a letter, maybe a text, to Evan. He wanted to talk to Evan, since he's the first person Connor took interest in since his first fling with a girl named Carrie.
Carrie was a bit of a nuisance though, since she would carry a tazer about. Not that he minded, but she almost tazed his Mom, for giving him his breakfast.
The thought of writing something for Evan made his heart pound against chest, made him actually have something to look forward to, which was nice.
Then, they reached home. Zoe flung open the car door with a grin and ran inside, making whatever she was excited about more obvious. The same almost happened with Connor, but he wanted to be less conspicuous.
Connor got to his room, and threw his satchel on the floor next to his bed, and headed for the showers. He usually uses the shower to kind of think, about anything at all, some days more depressing than others, but still, he thought. He let the warm water drench his body, seeing locks of his hair in front of his eyes as he thought.
He was thinking about what to say to Evan.
Maybe I should... nah that'll be weird. How about... yeah that could work.
He was running scenarios in his mind, many different ways this could all play out, most of them ending quite literally filled with despair, but he still kept his courage to write out something. He paced around the shower, a finger on his chin.
His recited his plan to himself as he dried himself off and got dressed, a black long sleeved shirt and some shorts. He was going to try to write a letter to Evan. If anyone asked, it was because his therapist asked him to.
Perfect.
He sat at his study desk, taking out the geography homework that was given. He was going to do it, but instead he stared blankly at it for thirty minutes, thought about writing to Evan, and then pushed it aside and brought out his notebook to start writing the letter.
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He opened the book, seeing his teal mechanical pencil sitting on the page margins, alongside a soft eraser. He lifts the pencil, still a little too excited about writing. He took a deep breath and exhaled, pressing the lead against the paper and let his mind wonder.
Dear Evan Hansen,
How are you?
Fucking hell. His English teacher was going through a format for formal letter writing or something and he immediately went to that for his letter. He groaned, placing the pencil down and picking the soft eraser. He pressed down, erasing his mistakes.
He placed the eraser down, picking up the mechanical pencil once more and let his hand move again.
Dear Evan Hansen,
I am very confused. I noticed you today, for the first time, and I've already become rather intrigued about you. I know you probably
Connor paused, thinking about what to write next, tapping the back of his pencil against his lips. Then he erased everything once more, paranoid.
Dear Evan Hansen,
Hi. Today, I noticed you for the first time, but I've become very keen to be your friend.
Connor thought some more.
I know you'll probably ignore this, considering it's me, but I want to be your friend. Oh, and sorry for shoving you into the lockers today. I was legitimately shocked and I just become super angry. If you accept this, please come and meet me during our lunch period.
Sincerely,
Connor Murphy
Connor shrugged, closing his notebook. He figured that it was a good first try. He placed it in his bag, zipping it up as he turned to his geography homework.
"Alright, let's get you done."
That took him four hours. He procrastinated, playing on his phone, reviewing his letter and reviewing what would happen in his head, while completing his homework.
Hey, at least he finished it. Luckily, that was the only homework for the day, so he could relax.
Connor laid down on his bed. He actually felt excited about tomorrow, unlike his usual behaviour. A small, little smile appeared. That rarely happens. It felt...nice...for a lack of better words. Then, he sat up, went to his bag and erase everything on the letter to rewrite it.
Connor was in the midst of writing when a knock on the door made him jolt. He dropped the pencil, as the knock echoed in his quiet room.
"Dipshit," Zoe shouted, "Dinner is ready."
Connor could feel his heart beating quickly from the damn knocking. He pressed his hand over his heart, taking several deep breaths. After his heart calmed for a bit, he shouted back at Zoe, cursing her for her sudden entrance.
"Coming," Connor responded, and then quickly added, "asshole". This way, Zoe wouldn't be able to catch him on having a sudden change in attitude.
Connor placed the pencil and eraser against the margins, and shut the book. He then clasped onto the opened side, shoving it in his satchel. He then took the satchel and his it under his study table, getting up and brushing himself off. He walked towards the door, turned the knob and then exited his room, noticing a strong aroma of something delicious.
He walked towards the stairs, climbing down and noticing that there had been a giant bowl of curry in the middle of the dining table, as well as bowls of rice.
"Strange, but alright." Connor commented, stepping off the staircase.
Cynthia responded, as enthusiastic as she had been every day, "Our next door neighbours made extra curry, and offered us some! Aren't they nice?"
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"Yeah, of course, mom."
-----
Connor woke up in his bed, ready to go to school. He had a strange energetic attitude today, which he was not used to at all. The constant smile he had on his face. He turned to the mirror, noticing the smile and he cursed.
It was amazing to feel this happy.
-----
Connor walked into the school, hearing the daily comment of 'King of Assholes' and giving the daily 'flipping him off'.
Then, here comes Evan.
Connor watched as Evan wondered to his locker, messing up the combination as he had been an extremely fidgety person. He opened it, reaching inside and taking out his geography textbook. Jared walked up to him, giving him a smile and a salute. Evan smiled back, shutting his locker and walked to class together with Jared.
Connor waited until Evan was out of side, before walking up to his locker. He took a deep breath, and exhaled, bring his satchel to the front and ferreted through for the notebook. Nervous, he almost thought he had left the book at home, which made him panic and search for it, finding it and calmed down. He flipped to the page that he had written the letter in, and swiftly tore the page.
He took the paper, and slipped it into the cracks of his locker, walking towards his class and feeling relieved that the panic is now over.
-----
It's calculus, right?
Evan thought to himself, staring at his schedule for the third time in the past thirty seconds. He saw that it was Calculus, and went straight to his locker. He fiddled with the lock for a bit, and then opened the locker, seeing a small piece of folded paper sitting nicely on top of all his textbooks.
He stared at it, mystified. He reached forward, grabbing the piece of paper and turned it around to investigate. Concluding that it was something he could worry about in class, he shoved the note in his pocket, and then placed his geography textbook in his locker, bringing out the textbook for calculus. He shut the locker and locked it, turning in his heel and leaving for class.
He arrived at his classroom, and sat down beside the door, like always. He placed his textbook on the desk and then placed his bag on the floor, leaning against the leg of the chair.
He then remembered the letter, and dug into his pockets, bringing out the piece of note and opening it up.
Dear Evan Hansen,
I'm Connor Murphy, you know, the freak of the school? I'm sorry for pushing you in the hallway yesterday. You just shocked me because you were suddenly in front of me. I really don't mean any harm.
Anyways, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to be my friend? I don't know, but you just interested me a lot, so I wanted to get to know you.
I get it, if you don't want to be friends. Who would, right? If you somehow want to, I'll be waiting by the front entrance waiting for you after school.
Sincerely,
Me
Evan was taken aback.
The Connor Murphy wanted to be his friend. Evan felt a grin. Connor Murphy had wanted to be friends with the background character, the extra. He wanted to be friends! Connor Murphy! Evan kept re-reading the letter, as if the words on the note would fade away, as if he hadn't believed what was on it. Each time he did, he smiled more.
He moved the paper down, grinning with excitement. He was so very excited to meet with Connor.
-----
Evan walked towards the entrance of the school, nervously gripping at the slings of his bag. He was nervous from both the thought of talking to Connor as well as being his friend.
He saw Connor standing outside the glass doors, leaning against the glass and looking towards the road in front of the school. Evan felt his grin returning and his heart pounding loudly against his chest. He tried his best to suppress it, quietly walking up to the glass doors, opening it and moved till he was beside Connor.
"Hey there," Evan timidly spoke. Connor turned his head, noticing Evan standing beside him. Evan smiled at Connor, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.
"O-oh! You actually came!" Connor replied, shocked. Connor then smiled at Evan, which made Evan's heart pound faster as he smiled back.
"Thank you for-for being…uh…being my friend," Evan blurted, his grip on the hem of his shirt was now tighter, shifting the weight of his body more frequently. He had no idea what to do in a friend situation, so his body was malfunctioning.
"U-uh, yeah, same to you..." Connor replied, lifting his hand up for a handshake, with a similar amount of anxiousness. This prompted Evan to wipe his sweaty hands on his khakis, before reaching out to shake Connor's hand. Connor, excited, shook it a bit to hard, making Evan feel a tiny bit of pain.
There was a bit of an awkward silence, since neither of them had been familiar with the situation that they were currently in. Both started looking away, scratching the back of their heads, twirling their thumbs.
"I-uh...can...uh, can I have your number, Connor?" Evan manages to stutter out.
"I-I mean, you don't have to! It's just that I think we-we could talk over the phone or something when we have nothing to-to do or-"
Connor looked at Evan, who was now more of a stuttering uncomfortable mess, dazed, before hurriedly snapping back to reality. He noticed that Evan had started to stutter out a bunch of incoherent words that were now mostly to himself about how he was weird to even ask for a phone number.
"Uh, yeah, yeah, o-of course," Connor interrupted, recited his number to Evan, who then hurriedly took out his own phone. He tried typing Connor's number in, but his memory failed him and he was forced to ask him to repeat it, embarrassed. To which Connor replied with a soft chuckle that made Evan face heat up and his heart pound harder against his chest, and recited the number again.
"U-um, I'll text you...uh, tonight?" Evan asked, promptly shoving his phone back in his pocket. His hand quickly moved to the hem of his shirt, gripping at the soft fabric once more.
"Y-yeah, I'll be expecting it, haha."
A sharp horn of a car rang through, causing both of them to whip their head towards its direction, scaring some of the students walking out in the process. Evan threw his hand over his heart, gripping at the fabric of his shirt out of shock, while Connor sighs with irritation. It's his Mom.
"Yeah, uh, that's my Mom, coming to pick me up. I, uh, hahaha, wow this is weird," Connor managed to say.
"Y-yeah... I, uh, see you!" Evan manages to reply.
"Yeah," Connor responds, gripping on to the sling of his satchel and adjusts it to be more comfortable. He walks over to his mom's car, waving Evan goodbye while Evan did the same.
Connor reaches the car, opens the door and sits down, slamming it close with less force than usual. He looked up at the drivers seat to find Cynthia with a grin on her face. He also spots Zoe out of the corner of his eye, texting on her phone.
"Connor!" Cynthia exclaims. "You didn't tell me you had a friend?"
Connor could feel the irritation bubbling in his chest, his face imitating that emotion with a look of displeasure.
"Well, yeah. That's my friend," Connor responds, nonchalantly, although his heart was racing. A friend? That was a strange thing to come out of his mouth. He didn't say it often at all, so it was foreign to him. Even the pronunciation of the word gave his mouth a tingle.
"Connor probably bribed him to be his friend, or something," Zoe added from beside him, making him a little more agitated.
"Nonsense, Zoey! What's his name, darling?"
Of course she tries to ask more.
"Evan."
But Connor didn't mind. He liked the idea of having a friend that he could actually call a friend.
"Wait, you don't mean that Evan?"
Connor looked over at Zoe, who looked up from her phone with a genuine expression of shock.
"Do you know any other Evans in the school?" Connor added, obviously getting more annoyed.
"But I've never even saw you guys interact at all before until yesterday," Zoe replied, convinced that this was a joke of some sort. Connor, a little hurt that he had to be reminded of shoving Evan yesterday, masked his emotion with a glare at Zoe.
"Yeah, so?"
Zoe looked incredibly skeptical that Connor had this new friend, but his mother was the opposite. She looked like she was about to pass out from happiness.
"Oh, I'm so glad our Connor has a real friend!" Cynthia added, her enthusiasm is through the roof. "We need to celebrate!"
"No, Mom. We don't need to celebrate."
"Yes! We must, Connor. Can you invite your friend on Friday? We'll celebrate then!"
Oh, that's four days away.
"Urgh, why?"
Cynthia now bore this look. It showed that she was completely serious. There was absolutely no way she would even try to joke about this, which made Connor annoyed.
"...Fine, I'll ask him."
His mom now looked completely happy and joyful. She turned around, facing the front and started the engine, driving back home.
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