《postponing forever》chapter 1

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Graduation – 2 weeks later

‘Hey’ Rachel smiled as Finn sat down across from her on the bench that they had ate lunch on for the past three years.

‘You ok?’ he asked.

‘Yeah just remembering’ she shrugged but it wasn’t the only thing that was bothering her, she had felt Finn pulling away from her for the past two weeks and the distance was starting to scare her. After what had happened between them she thought it would have brought them closer.

‘I can’t believe it’s all over’ he told her.

‘I know’ Graduation had come and gone and now they had a party to attend at the Crashdown that Rachel's parents were throwing for her.

‘I wanted to talk to you before we went to the party’ he told her then.

Rachel nodded; she had been waiting for this.

‘You know I love you right El?’

Rachel nodded again, she did. ‘I love you too’ she told him her hand once again going to her necklace, something he noticed she did a lot since he had given it to her.

‘And I know that the love I feel for you is the kind of love that is forever’ he confessed then, but it didn’t scare or surprise Rachel because it was exactly how she felt too.

‘I feel the same way Finn’

Finn smiled and reached for her hand ‘El’ he started his eyes pained.

‘What is it Finn?’ she asked worried.

‘I’m not ready for forever’ he whispered with his eyes closed, he didn’t want to see her face when the words hit her, he didn’t want to see how much he hurt her. It had been on his mind for the past week. He knew he was just scared but then he also knew he should be. He was 18 and he had met the women he knew he was going to be with forever. That didn’t scare him what did was that he hadn’t experience enough of life yet and he didn’t want that to be a problem between them in the future which he knew it could be.

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When he opened his eyes he wasn’t prepared for what he saw in front of him. Rachel had tears sliding down her face and her big brown eyes looked shattered.

‘I know that your it for me El, but I want the chance to experience life on my own before we start our life together’ he rushed to tell her.

‘What do you mean?’ she cried.

‘God I’ve totally stuffed this up. El you’re my best friend and I know that one day in the future I’m going to ask you to marry me, I love you but I’m not ready for that yet. I want to postpone it’ he told her.

‘You want to postpone forever?’ she asked confused.

‘Yes’ Finn replied.

‘And what will that entail?’ she asked curiously.

‘I still want us to share an apartment together when we go away but I think we should go back to the way we were before Prom’ he explained thinking about their best friends with benefits act that they had going on.

‘So you want do date other people?’ she asked horrified.

‘Don’t you?’ Finn asked her.

‘Why? I know you’re the one for me’ she told him.

‘I know and I know you’re the one for me too but don’t you want to experience everything life has to offer? Do you really want me to be your only lover for the rest of your life?’ he asked her.

Rachel thought about the question and the answer that instantly sprang to mind was Yes but she was also aware that Finn obviously wasn’t in the same place that she was.

‘You want to make love to other girls?’ she asked hurt.

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‘I don’t know, maybe’ he told her honestly.

‘And if I say no?’ she asked.

‘T-then I wont do it, I mean I love you but’ he started.

‘But your not ready for forever’ she finished for him.

‘Yeah’

Silence ensued then and Finn was ready to tell her to forget he even brought it up when her voice startled him.

‘Okay’ she told him.

‘Okay?’ Finn asked making sure he heard her right.

‘Okay, we can postpone forever it’s not like we really had started anything here anyway’ she shrugged. Finn was slightly hurt the way she had brushed aside what they had developed between them since Prom.

‘Are you sure?’ he questioned. Rachel put a smile on her face convinced that maybe this was what Finn needed to be ready for forever.

‘Sure. We’ll date and we’ll fuck other people’ she grinned. Let’s see if Finn Hudson could really take it.

Finn cringed at what he thought sounded like excitement in Rachel's voice ‘Rach’ he sighed.

‘No your right Finn. Your not ready for forever and I think your solution is workable’ she smiled.

‘So we’re postponing forever’ she put out her hand as a gesture for Finn to shake.

‘We’re postponing forever’ he shook.

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