🙏

August sat on one of the many empty seats in the arena, watching as the crew set up the cameras.

Everything was ready.

The stage was all set. The lights were all set. The cameramen were getting into position. She was dressed pretty casually in a lilac coloured pant suit with just a white t-shirt underneath and a pair of white converses. Her earpiece was already in. Her instruments were all tuned.

All she had to do was wait for the green-light to get on stage and start the show.

Her insides were a mess. She really shouldn't have had that extra cup of coffee. Now she was a nervous, jittery, nauseous mess.

She jumped when a hand settled gently on her shoulder and she looked to her right to see Taylor by her side. Taylor wasn't overdressed either. She was wearing a long, and casual flowey dress that looked pretty comfortable actually. She had kept her hair falling down bed back in waves and her make-up was kept minimal and still, she looked ethereal. August's heart still flipped in her ribcage.

"Hey, how are you doing?" Taylor asked, settling down in the seat next to her.

August smiled tightly and nodded, brushing her curls back. "I'm good, I think," she responded calmly.

"Your leg's telling a completely different story," Taylor pointed out, her index waving in the direction of August's knee bopping up and down at a relatively fast pace.

August laughed sheepishly and willed her leg to stop bouncing. "I had way too many cups of coffee."

Taylor smiled softly. Her hand hesitated for a second before she finally decided it would be okay to rest it over August's own hand and give it a small squeeze.

"You're gonna do great," she reassured her. "You rehearsed every song like a million times, and besides, you didn't even need the rehearsals. You hit every note perfectly every single time."

"Yeah," August huffed. "When there weren't thousands of people watching!"

"Well, I was just talking to Jamie, actually, and she said we're expecting about a fifty-thousand people to be watching it live," Taylor said, which really didn't help August's nerve.

"And then the live-stream will be available for just about anyone to watch it so that's the whole world!"

"Come on, now you just sound arrogant!" Taylor joked and it actually made August laugh and relax a little. "Seriously, you're gonna be great. And I'll be up there with you."

"For the first three minutes."

"And I'll be sitting right here for the rest of the hour. I'll shout encouragements and everything!"

"That's just gonna be awkward," August deadpanned and Taylor grinned anyway until they were interrupted by Jamie, August's publicist.

"Hey, you guys ready? We start in five."

August shared a looked with Taylor, let out a shaky breath and finally nodded. "Yeah, we're good to go."

"Perfect! Break a leg, kid!"

August smiled at Jamie and gave her two thumbs up before finally standing up.

"Hey!" August looked up to see Niko and Zoë running toward her at full speed.

"You made it!" She exclaimed, relieved to see their familiar faces.

"I wouldn't have missed it for the world!" Niko cried out and engulfed her in a bone-crushing hug. He pulled his mask down to kiss her cheek before placing it back over his nose.

"I'm so fricken excited!" Zoë squealed, hugging her sister next.

"Places," the main stage director yelled and August bounced on her heels nervously.

"Oh my god, you guys! You're gonna be awesome!" Zoë said. "Oh, and mom and dad are on their way. I'm pretty sure they got lost coming from the hotel but, they'll be here."

August chuckled softly, not even surprised in the slightest bit.

"Shall we?" Taylor asked and August nodded.

They made their way toward the stage together and while Taylor sat down behind the piano, August went to the guitar rack and picked out her acoustic. She plugged it in, made sure it was in tune and still sounded great through the speakers before standing in her spot in the middle of the stage.

The camera would start out filming her from one angle only, face-on, for the first verse and the chorus. It would then turn to reveal Taylor when her verse started which should be a huge deal and August would walk toward her and sit by the piano. It was a cool and easy choreography. And she was really nervous about it.

The director indicated with his fingers that there was just ten seconds left and August was jumping up and down in excitement. The band around her was already in place. It was just a matter of three, two...

And her fingers found themselves playing the song on their own accord perfectly. The lights all around had dimmed, only shining right above her.

She only looked up to start singing, a small, nervous smile splitting her face.

Out, on our own, dreaming in a world that we both know

Is out of our control, but if shit hits the fan we're not alone

'Cause you've got me and you know, that I've got you and I know...

August glanced at Taylor who was watching her encouragingly, her fingers moving over the piano keys effortlessly. August's smile widened as she turned back to face the camera and sing the chorus.

If the tide takes California, I'm so glad I got to hold ya,

but if the sky falls from heaven above,

oh, I know I had the best time, falling into love

We've been living on the fault-line

and for a while you were all mine

I've spent a lifetime giving you my heart

I swear that I'll be yours forever till forever falls apart

August took a small breath and started walking toward the piano as the lights and the cameras started moving with her until she had finally reached Taylor and she sang the last line again to her.

Till forever falls apart.

And then, as soon as August had sat down next to her on the piano bench, Taylor began singing the second verse, beaming widely at August. She didn't even look once at the camera.

So, this is it, that's how it ends,

I guess there's nothing more romantic than dying with your friends,

And I'm not sorry, for myself

I wouldn't wanna spend a minute loving anybody else

August was grinning from ear to ear now, with her back to facing Taylor's and her neck craned to watch her. They were really doing this and it was going great. Her heart was fluttering in her chest, but it wasn't just nerves. It was pure joy and excitement.

'Cause you've got me and you know,

They harmonised together and August was pretty sure, despite everything, they weren't just singing her lyrics. They were singing them to one another.

And I've got you and I know.

If the tide takes California, I'm so glad I got to hold ya,

but if the sky falls from heaven above,

oh, I know I had the best time, falling into love

We've been living on the fault-line

and for a while you were all mine

I've spent a lifetime giving you my heart

I swear that I'll be yours forever till forever falls apart

August stood up again as they reached the bridge, getting ready to sing her high note. Taylor would have to do it by the piano but she always did it so effortlessly anyway.

Till forever falls apart,

We never had it from the start,

Till death do us part

They both stared at each other as they took deep breaths and sang softly in perfect harmony...

If the tide takes California, I'm so glad I got to know ya,

but if the sky falls from heaven above,

oh, I know I had the best time, falling into love

They eased into the high notes while the backing vocalists continued singing the rest of the chorus and August found herself almost leaning back all the way to the ground as she put her all into that one note and when she had finally straightened back, Taylor was watching her, her blue eyes sparkling and a proud beam splitting her face and August's stomach once again churned.

I've spent a lifetime giving you my heart

I swear that I'll be yours forever till forever falls apart

They ended the song and August needed a good few seconds to catch her breath but it wasn't the song that was too difficult to sing, but Taylor's gaze, and Taylor's voice, and Taylor singing those words to her... She just knew it. Taylor was singing to her. She hadn't just been singing the song. She had meant the words for August. And it made her heart want to beat right out of her chest.

She could have kissed her right then and there.

But she couldn't. And no, she didn't care about the cameras. But Taylor was already moving off the stage and the band had already moved into the second song. That was the thing about medleys. There was no real breather between each song.

August had the time of her life jumping around the stage from instrument to another, singing with her band and simply enjoying herself out there. Did she make a few mistakes? Sure, did anyone notice? Probably not. Who cared that her finger slipped on the piano and played a C instead of a D that one time? With the rest of the band playing, it was barely audible and August recovered easily. Her nerves had eased immensely and staring out into the empty arena and finding her family there meant everything to her.

When she sat by the piano to play Ryne's song, her eyes welled up with tears and her voice shook but she smiled anyway, all the way up to the sky and blew her older brother a kiss as her heart constricted.

She added a soft 'I miss you, Ryne,' as the song moved into Moral of the Story and that was when things picked up again.

She loved singing that 'Fuck You' song to her ex. God, she hoped he was watching.

And finally, over an hour later, she played the final chord for HOME and sang the very last note and she was exhausted but she wasn't done yet.

She smiled at the camera, pulled her sweaty hair back and stood up from the piano bench to thank he audience watching from home as the band continued playing an outro song.

"Aimee Clarence on the drums! Finn O'Brien on keys! Harry Ozzy on bass! Sarah Conrad on lead guitar. And the phenomenal string orchestra, conducted by William Jones! Thank you, everyone! Thank you for all the support. And I hope you've enjoyed the show."

August took a deep breath, and smiled at the camera before settling back down at the piano.

"The show was supposed to end here but... I thought, why not give everyone else an encore? That's what people do at concerts, right?" August chuckled softly and chanced a glance at her friends in the audience, noticing how they all looked at her confusedly, especially Taylor who had been there at all the rehearsals the past week.

"It's an original song, and it's obviously not on the album. Because, well, I wrote it very recently. So, it's just gonna be me and my piano, sorry guys," she waved her hand at the band who laughed with her and all gave her signs that it was okay. "It's called always."

August started playing the intro on the piano and glanced again at Taylor sitting in the small crowd. She sent her a small and shy smile before looking back at her keys.

What if staying with me isn't the best way to keep you happy?

And if letting you go is the best way to show that I love you, I will

I'll be broken when you're gone

But won't hold you if it's wrong...

I don't care what people say

You know I won't force you to stay

Don't want you to go, but I'll be okay

And I'll love you always

She looked up again to see Niko moving his head so fast between the stage and Taylor sitting next to him and she almost laughed. Taylor was looking at her wide-eyed, her lips slightly parted and August shrugged softly before continuing.

And I don't know if you'll ever come back

But I won't ever ask, cause that's selfish

Yeah, and I've come to terms I might never feel whole again

I'll be broken when you're gone

But someday we'll both be moving on

I don't care what people say

You know I won't force you to stay

Don't want you to go, but I'll be okay

And I'll love you

She took in a shaky breath before delving into the bridge, her eyebrows furrowing as the notes she sang became more and more emotionally charged.

One last time, for the very last time

We'll forget that it's over tonight

One last time

Finally, she couldn't help but look back at Taylor. She couldn't read her expression, but it didn't matter. She needed to say those words.

If you leave, I'll find my way

Just say you won't forget me, babe

I'll be right here, not far away

I don't care what people say

You know I won't force you to stay

Don't want you to go, but I'll be okay

And I'll love you always

She breathed out the last word into the microphone in almost a whisper and closed her eyes as she played the last few notes on the piano.

It took her a moment when she was done to open her eyes again and everything was dead silent.

Slowly, everyone in the band had started clapping. From her own band to the members of the orchestra, and to her family in the crowd. August grinned, a small bubbly laugh escaping her. She covered her face with her hands, her whole body tingling.

"Oh my god, thank you so much everyone," she said into the microphone, feeling herself choking up as a lump formed in her throat.

"August James, everyone!" Sarah, the guitarist and backing vocalist cried into her mic and August grinned at her gratefully.

"Thank you!" She said again and finally the camera men indicated that they had stopped filming and August took in a deep breath.

"THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME!" Niko exclaimed all the way from his seat and August shook her head at him, too exhausted to even respond.

"I'M SO PROUD OF YOU, BABY!" Her mother exclaimed, her arms wrapped tightly around her dad from one side and Zoë on the other side.

"Thank you, guys," August said, her voice shaky.

"Socially distanced hug," Finn from the band said, opening his arms wide but August rolled her eyes and got up to hug him for real. The rest of the band joined in and they all suffocated each other with a warm and loving hug.

"I don't care if we're spreading germs," Sarah said. "This was fucking awesome."

"The best show I've ever played," Oz cried out, his voice muffled due to his face being shoved in Aimee's hair.

"I love you, guys, thank you," August mumbled, her voice cracking.

"Aww, babe," Aimee whispered, rubbing August's arm softly.

"Also, we just fucking played a song with Taylor Swift," Sarah said. "Live. Uh, no offence August!"

They all laughed, finally pulling away.

"None taken," August said softly.

When she looked back at the crowd, Taylor wasn't there. She raised her eyebrows in surprise but then Niko and Zoë were jumping on the stage and Niko was throwing August over his shoulder, jumping around excitedly.

"You were so fucking awesome! Also we need to talk about that last song, you boss ass bitch, but oh my god! Girl boss!"

"Put me down, you idiot! I'm gonna puke all over you!" August yelled, but she was laughing anyway even as he span her around, upside-down.

"Ew, okay," Niko huffed finally dropping her.

"We're going out for pizza, yes?" Zoë said and August knew she was not taking no for an answer. She wouldn't have said no anyway.

"Yes!"

"The whole band's invited," Her dad said, finally by her side, and everyone in the room cheered excitedly. "Where's your friend, Taylor? She's invited too."

August smiled a little, looking around again in search of the blonde but she wasn't anywhere to be found. "Where did she go?"

They all shrugged, looking around as though they had also only just realised she was gone.

"Call her!" August's mother said before engulfing her in a hug. "God, I'm so proud of you!"

"Thanks mom," August laughed softly as her life was squeezed out of her.

"So damn proud," her dad agreed, kissing her forehead. "Ryne would have been so incredibly proud too."

August smiled sadly, looking up at the arena's ceiling again. "Yeah... I'm sure he enjoyed it from up there."

They all shared a smile before August excused herself to go change and grab her stuff from the dressing room backstage.

When she stepped into her dressing room, she jumped slightly in surprise to find Taylor sitting there on the small sofa.

"What are you doing here?" August asked quietly, closing the door behind her.

Taylor had already changed into a pair of jeans and a simple hoodie. Her hair was tied up in a pony tail with her bangs falling softly over her forehead and she looked so cuddly right now... August remained standing by the door. She didn't trust herself right now, especially with all those feelings still fresh from the last song.

Taylor got up instead. She crossed the room until she was standing right in front of August.

"I don't care," Taylor started softly.

August frowned, looking up in confusion. "What?"

"It got the best of me a few months ago, but I don't anymore. I don't care what people say either," she said. "I realised too late that I let my past dictate my worst fears even when you specifically told me everything was fine and... I was scared it would all just happen again."

August's heart had started beating fast again. She couldn't catch a break tonight. "What would happen again?"

She wasn't exactly sure what Taylor was going on about though it did sound like an attempt at an apology.

"That you would leave, because of the pressure of constantly being in the spotlight, especially when we're dating, even if our relationship remains a secret," Taylor explained. She seemed almost breathless trying to get her point across, desperate to have August understand where she was coming from. "I've had quite a few relationships in the past fall apart because of the media and most of them I didn't care about, but the last one hurt pretty bad especially since we were engaged and I guess I hadn't quite recovered or moved on yet and my anxiety just spiked and I couldn't stop overthinking everything and I didn't want you walking away because I care for you way too much and I knew that it would completely devastate me if you did so I walked away instead which was really, really fucking stupid of me. I'm literally such a coward and an asshole and I don't deserve your forgiveness. But... that's it. I just wanted you to know that I don't care what people think anymore. I love you too, August James, always."

August was left speechless.

The thing was she couldn't forgive Taylor because there was nothing for her to forgive. She might have been upset and disappointed in the beginning but eventually, she had come to terms with it and she had started moving on and though it did suck, no matter what, she still loved Taylor.