Miss August James

[sent 02:07 a.m.]

Lil Tay Tay!

Good very early morning!

That is not a real sentence...

It's 2 am

... Good very late night, then?

but like you came to me first 🙄

Can you just say Hi like a normal person? osjdjsjsj

ooooooh, sorry, no can do!

Well, I tried sigh

what do u want from me😩😩

I have a theory

I'm curious to know what it is

You don't sound curious at all!

I'm shaking in anticipation!

You are overflowing with bullshit!

Hmm... Mayhaps :)

You mean perhaps...?

Nope! I mean mayhaps!

As in maybe and perhaps?

Correctomundo!

Your late night self is slowly losing brain cells, isn't she?

One braincell at a time 😔✊

Wig anyway

OH MY GOD DO NOT USE INTERNET LINGO ON ME PLS

WHY NOT? YOU DO IT ALL THE TIME

YOURE A MILLENNIAL

I AM EVERY BIT AS MUCH OF A MILLENNIAL AS YOU ARE

I-

I am not having this conversation right now

Uhuuu I mean would you prefer being a gen z kid?

Ew no way

LISTEN

I'm listening :)

what was your theory?

Not a smooth change of subject, but I'll let it slide anyway because it is a great theory!

Okay, enlighten me!

You listen to Harry Styles' music, right?

Uh, yeah! I'm not insane. From the dining table is my go to crying song

Interesting...

What is?

You, further validating my theory

Which is???!!!!!

You were a raging One Direction fan in like 2011-2013 at least

2014... sure, I have no shame in admitting it. I still occasionally listen to their songs!

Mhmm and I wouldn't be wrong in assuming that Harry was your favourite, right?

Harry and Zayn, but go on ... I'm interested in seeing where this is going to lead

And you *definitely* had a twitter or tumblr account during that time

Okay 🙄 so did you

Oh, no, no I'm not shaming your fangirl days. Not at all! I'm just saying

What are you saying... 👀

The only reason you refused to listen to my music was because of Harry Styles

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

How did you even get to that conclusion?

I actually snorted out loud

No, no, you can laugh but I promise this is a very sound and valid claim

uhhuuu... okay go on

Of course you remember what happened around 2012-2013

In what aspect?

I "allegedly" dated a Mr. Harry Styles, 1/5 of British Boyband One Direction?

I vaguely remember something of the sort coming up in the news....

Sure sure, it's not like those pictures at the park no longer surface on the internet anymore

Oh geez, you still get those shoved in your face? that was like 2012

Instagram is a very funny place

true that!

BACK TO MY POINT

....

What with Harry being your favourite and everything, and him supposedly dating me, and the whole controversy that ensued on social media....

........

Do I have to spell it out for you?

No, no I get it

And I gotta say, fair play, but you are wrong!

I thought it was distasteful for fans to send you hate for dating their favourite celebrity

How noble of you! But I'm not wrong!

....you are

So how come you knew some of my old songs, like you belong with me but not songs from Red which, coincidentally, came out around that period?

....

Because deep down inside you were a Harry fan at heart and you couldn't betray him!

LAWYERED

I—

I don't even know how to respond to this

Just admit I'm right 😌

I'm still trying to process it

Take your time, babe

.......

How did you even know that I'd be a 1D fan?

It's only natural. Every teenager in 2012 was either a one direction or justin bieber fan or emo and metal and such which coincided perfectly with certain pop artists

.....

And you liked Paramore and My Chemical Romance and Panic! At The Disco and Fall Out Boy, right?

One direction had a little more edge than let's say, justin bieber or coldplay or like, Ed Sheeran and plus, they were british

It just made sense, and it was pretty easy to put two and two together

... I don't believe it

HAJAHAJSJSJSJSJSJSKS

I'm fucking with you 😭I found your YouTube account

YOU WHAT

August James Styles, right? :)

OH MY FUCKING GOD

HOW DID YOU FIND THAT

WHAT THE FUCK SMDJSJSJS

All it took was typing in your name on YouTube! The first video I watched was a lip sync battle with your sister to what makes you beautiful

The second one was you showing off all your harry posters in your room, and uh, making out with one???

NO

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME

I liked them all!

FUCKING HELL

I'm ignoring you for the rest of the month

aww 😔

———