....

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replying to your story

Girl, get some sleep

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Girl, you get some sleep

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No Z and I are watching a movie!!!

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Well, my children and I are writing music

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OMG REALLY?

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NEW ALBUM?

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No way omg! I'm just trying to keep my creative ✨ juices ✨ flowing

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smort

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alright go make love to your man or whatever 🙄

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shhhhh the baby will hear you

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?????!!!!

.....

you replied to their story

Excuse me, ma'am, get some sleep!!!!

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First of all, why are you ma'aming me? Am I really that old ????

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Second of all, you get some sleep!!!!

you're not old just like super rich and famous which automatically makes you a ma'am

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Huh... interesting

You know what

You're right

Goodnight!!!

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Wait, really? omg I didn't think it would work

sent 01:52 a.m.

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Did you actually go to sleep? This is surprising

sent 02:27 a.m.

I love how we've only had three conversations and you already know all about my shitty sleep schedule

sent 02:32 a.m.

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YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ASLEEP

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This is not healthy, August James!

Wow, okay mom

wait my middle name is elizabeth

do it again, maybe it'll scare me for real

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weird but okay?

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This is not healthy, August Elizabeth James! Get some sleep!

Naahh theres no edge to it

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Excuse me, I can be edgy!

I hear you're a sweetheart though!!!!

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Have you not seen my whole Reputation era 💁🏼‍♀️ It's edgy as fuck!

uhhhh

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I really don't mean to sound conceited but where were you in 2017

Okay listen

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You're not actually one of my haters are you? Cuz then the past week would have been incredibly awkward...

OSJDJSJSJS no omg Niko would personally murder me

I would just like to preface whatever I'm about to say with this very important detail: I THINK YOU ARE AN INCREDIBLY TALENTED MUSICIAN AND I RESPECT YOU AS AN ARTIST OR AS NIKO WOULD SAY A GODDESS

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omg I really need to meet that Niko you keep mentioning

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Sounds like a pretty neat person!

Nah, he only worships the ground you walk on

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Ah! Like I said, NEAT!

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Okay, you respect me as a musician BUT...?

You have to understand that I went through a HORRIBLE phase of "I'm not like other girls" during my teenage years

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Oh my god you were totally one of those TAYLOR SWIFT SUCKS 🤮 on twitter people OMG

I WAS NOT I PROMISE

It was more like

my music taste is too superior for the pop country shit you're listening to, Kayla 😤

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BAHAHAH I feel like that Kayla is a real person?

she is and in high school she used to run around the school shoving a picture she took with you at a meet and greet in everyone's faces

You could say that while I never bullied her to her face, I did kind of talk shit about her with my friends

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Just cuz she, as the internet kids say these days, stans me? She sounds woke

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anyway THAT HURTS

It will make you feel better to know that I was an emo kid. The embarrassing kind that belted out MCR and P!ATD lyrics any chance she got

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Yes that absolutely does make me feel so much better actually

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I feel compelled to tell you also that that made me laugh out loud and I definitely do need a picture or two of you during that phase

n e v e r

they will go to the grave with me

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Maybe I should ask that Niko guy

you don't even know him so haha nice! try!

sent 02:54 a.m.

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Is that his account?

sent 03:12 a.m.

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eye-

did you actually spend the last 20 minutes stalking my account until you found his user?

WAIT DID YOU FOLLOW HIM

WHY DID YOU FOLLOW HIM

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Yes, I did 😊

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Yeah... Should I not have followed him?

this is YOUR fault

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I'm so sorry....?

YOU SHOULD BE

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Maybe I should DM him and ask him for those photos

if you werent taylor swift i would have blocked you already

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Wow my fame finally came in handy! I am block-proof!!

ALSJSJSJS I HATE YOU

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😔😔Icalled it

Sorry /:

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Wait are those my lyrics in his bio?

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You know what, I'm sending him all of my merch. That's it, tell Niko he's my bestie

I am telling him NO SUCH THING

and you are doing NO SUCH THING

ILL MEVER HEAR THE END OF THIS

wait... are you still stalking his account trying to find embarrassing pictures of me?

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maybe

HA jokes on you! Niko and I met in college

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DAMN IT

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