We went to the market and bought enough groceries to last us a couple of days. When we arrived back at home, I found myself looking down at the bag full of food sitting on the counter and wondering if we would make it back after tonight's excursion. Did Luke purposely buy more food than we needed as a way of proclaiming to the universe that we would return? Would we be sitting down to a spaghetti and meatball dinner tomorrow night?

I hoped so.

I put the groceries away and walked into the living room. Luke was building another fire. A cup of coffee and a muffin on a plate sat on the floor by the couch. Both were mine. We hadn't stopped for breakfast—instead we'd hit the local coffee shop on the way back to Pagan's.

I sat down on the floor and took a sip of coffee before asking the question that had been uppermost on my mind all morning. "Do we have a game plan for storming the hotel and saving Darla?"

He stuffed some shredded paper between the five logs stacked in the fireplace. "Nothing concrete. I figure we go, case the place, and see if an opportunity comes up."

"So...we're totally winging it?" I couldn't keep my voice from sounding annoyed.

"I don't see what choice we have. We don't know what's going on up there. We don't know how many bad guys we'll be facing. I was hoping you would have some power we can use when we go against them, but you couldn't bind any banshees. You have no magic you can use to defend yourself. Do you have a better suggestion?"

Luke's plan sounded like insanity to me, but I honestly didn't have a better idea.

Luke lit the fire and then sat down next to me. "I want you to stay with me after this is all over."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was worried about surviving the night, and he was talking about a future we might never see.

"You've got to be kidding," I blurted. Why did his words surprise me? Earlier I'd had the same thoughts—I'd wondered about our future and if we had one. I'd wondered what might happen if we lived through all this.

He looked at me. "I'm not."

I turned my face away. "I can't stay with you," I mumbled. "What would your guild say once they find out what I can do? You know they won't just welcome me with open arms. They won't accept me."

His fingers reached up and touched my cheek. "You're a death dealer now. You're one of us. You can be part of our guild."

At his answer, I laughed harshly. "But I can't." I shook my head slowly back and forth. "I'm not one of you. You've seen what I can do. You don't know what the magic is that I'm doing or how I'm doing it. You don't know what I've turned into. I don't even know what I am anymore."

He reached out and grabbed my arm. "You're someone I care about. Someone I want by my side."

I pulled my arm away. "You say that now, but in a few months, or in a year, how will you feel then?"

His voice was angry now. "The same."

I spun around and confronted him. "You don't know that. You can't say that for sure."

The anger faded, and his expression turned serious. "I know how I feel about you. I don't want to lose you." He took a step toward me. "I know you have feelings for me."

I took a step back. "I don't know what I feel."

His anger was back, blazing from his eyes. "When everything is all over, you can't just run away from this...from us."

I couldn't stop myself from saying, "There is no 'us.'"

"There can be if you have the courage to face your feelings."

I felt cold and wrapped my arms around my body. "You don't know what you're talking about."

His voice turned low and persuasive. "I know you lost your family. I know you're still grieving for them, but you can't throw what's between us away because you're scared."

"I'm not scared. I'm realistic. I don't belong in your world."

He reached out toward me. "You do. You can make a place for yourself with my people."

I didn't move. "I can't go around helping the sick die. I can't spend my days roping in spirits so their living relatives can have a conversation with them. I can't live this life of yours."

Luke's arms dropped by his side. He looked hurt. "What'll you do?"

"I don't know," I whispered.

"Where will you go?"

I shook my head. "I'm not sure."

His exasperation showed on his face. "Look, this is crazy. I'm not going to let you walk out the door when all of this is over. I care about you, whether you want to hear it or not. And I know you care about me."

"Stop saying that!"

"I won't let you go."

I laughed suddenly, but even to my own ears it sounded hollow and forced. "You plan to force me to stay with you?"

His voice was low. "You know that's not what I meant."

Neither one of us said anything for a few moments; we just stood there staring at each other. I finally broke the silence. "You don't want me. You don't have feelings for me. You can't."

"Don't tell me how I feel." He was angry again.

"We barely know each other." I could feel tears forming but blinked them back.

"I know all I need to. I want to be with you."

"You can't mean that, we barely know each other." A single tear slid down my face. "I can't do this."

A voice called, "Is this a bad time?" Freddy stood in the doorway with a large, black duffel bag over one shoulder.

I wiped my tears away and greeted Freddy quickly, "Hi, Freddy. There are some muffins in the kitchen if you want one."

He glanced from me to Luke. "Thanks, but I've already eaten." He set the bag down on the floor. "Is everything alright?"

I waited for Luke to say something, but he just stood there silently, frustration apparent in his eyes as he watched me. I forced a smile onto my face. "What's in your bag?"

Freddy crouched down and opened it. He started to pull out items. "Duct tape, some rope, a small axe, basically anything I could think of that might help."

That was the problem—none of us knew what type of situation we were walking into. It was foolish and reckless for us to head up there and try to save Darla without a plan, but that's exactly what we were going to be doing in just a few hours.