They looked good together, ask anyone. They could have easily won power couple of the year, every year. But it was well known between the two of them it was just a fling, nothing more.

Between still being young, figuring out their sexualities and their careers, they weren't serious.

When they broke up, Louis pushed all his nagging feelings deep inside of him, ignoring the screaming voices telling him that this was all wrong. Ignoring his gut, telling him to never let go.

So he did. He let go.

He let go of Harry, he let go of himself and he let go of reality all together.

He distracted himself with cigarettes and alchohol as he got thinner, denying the mere possibility that he missed that cheery boy that he used to call his own.

Sleep was not in his vocabulary, most nights he stayed up well past the crack of dawn writing. Writing down his thoughts and feelings on a peice of paper, and making his jumbled brain vomit into beautiful songs.

He never shared these songs though, no. They were too personal. Too loud.

And things didn't get better. The band got distanced from one another, they didn't have the same bond as before, and soon after Harry suggested that they took a break.

It's been five years. Five years since they've been in the same room together. Five years since they've spoken.

So when Louis grabbed his phone, he was surprised to see a text from Liam.

Good morning louis!

He furrowed his brows at the small text surrounded in a blue bubble. His eyes darted up to the contact name 'Lima' that he had never gotten around to changing.

Maybe because he wanted to be reminded of when they all got along. Of when he was a kid with no drama or responsibilities, and when he still had all his pieces together.

But no, times have changed and he has to realize that they can never go back to that. He realizes that reuniting the band wont do anything, meeting up wont do anything. No, he wants to go back. But he cant. So he stops thinking about that.

Louis rubs his blurry and dreary eyes with the back of his hand, still squinting at the dull screen.

Exhaling, he turns his phone back off, tossing it to the foot of his bed. He swung his legs over the mattress, his bare feet meeting with the cool hardwood floor.

Even though he lives alone, he quietly padded his way down the long corridor to the bathroom. He grabbed a cigarette from the counter beside the sink, lighting it as he sat down on the toilet.

He pinched it between his lips as he stood infront of the mirror, running his fingers down his face and neck, trying to smoothe out the wrinkles that threatened to appear beside his eyes.

The wrinkles that one might get from a permanent grin. The wrinkles that he did get from a permanent grin. A permanent grin that wasn't so permanent after all.

He exhaled the smoke through his lips, the cigarette still dangling. The smoke blew straight out, hitting the mirror just to scatter in different directions, obscuring his reflection.

He heard impatient huffs outside the bathroom door. He put out his cigarette, splashing some cold water over his face before opening up the bathroom door.

"Morning Cliffy, how did you sleep?" He smiled, ruffling the fur on the top of his dogs head. His voice came out scratchy and quiet, the kind of voice you might get when you don't talk for days.

He was answered with a huff, and expecting eyes.

"I know bud" he smiled "we'll walk in a bit". He cleared his throat.

Clifford spun his large body around and left the bathroom. Louis brushed his teeth and looked at himself in the mirror once more.

Sniffing his nose, he pulled on some clothes and a baseball cap, his ruly hair peaked down his neck from behind the cap.

Clifford was layed down ontop of Louis shoes at the front door. When he saw him coming down the stairs, he jumped up, his tail wagging excitedly.

"Alright Cliff, let's go" Louis smiled, grabbing his red lead, hanging it over his shoulders and opening up the door.

Clifford was infront of him by a few paces, looking back once in a while to make sure Louis was still following him. The cool early morning air blew through the trees as they took the path behind the house.

They made it to a large feild opening after a few minutes, birds were sat on the grass pecking at the ground for worms.

Clifford looked up at Louis, a huff like bark escaping his body.

"Go get em" Louis chuckled, and with that, Clifford bolted off toward the birds. Louis knew he would never catch one, so he didn't worry.

Clifford barked as he ran, signaling the birds to fly off even before he reached them.

"Good boy!" Louis laughed as Clifford turned around and ran back to him. He crouched down as Clifford jumped up, his paws pushing on Louis' shoulders. Louis laughed as they playfully rough housed.

Clifford got tired soon enough and they made their way back to the house, Clifford now trailing behind Louis.

They both had their breakfast when they got back, Louis sneaking him a few extra bites of his toast under the table.

Satisfied, Clifford jumped up on the couch, spun around four times, and plopped down in a huff.

"Tired?" Louis asked.

Clifford let out a long sigh.

"Me too Cliffy" he replied.

Clifford lifted his head up, his long pink tounge hanging from his mouth.

"What?"

Clifford let out a huff as he slipped off the couch, his long nails clicking against the hardwood as he trotted across the floor.

He came back a minute later, Louis' mobile in his mouth. He dropped it on the floor and hopped back up onto the couch, curling into a ball.

Louis laughed as he shook his head, picking the phone up from the floor.

"What's this for, hm?" He laughed as he unlocked it, the text from Liam still pulled up.

"Oh" he said quietly in realization as his smile dropped.

He looked over to Clifford, his lips formed in a tight line. Clifford looked back at him without moving his head.

"I should probably text him back" he said quietly to Clifford. He poked the inside of his cheek with his tounge as he thought.

He sighed and tried putting his phone down, Clifford sprung up, letting out a loud bark.

"Okay, okay" he laughed, his thumbs hovering over the keyboard to reply.

Hi Liam

Clifford let out a satisfied huff as he jumped down from the couch, walking toward his water bowl to take a long drink.

Louis' phone buzzed in his hand

Nice to hear from you mate!! I geuss you just woke up?

Louis felt bad about lying but he didn't want to tell him that he ignored him for the entire morning.

Yeah, late night

The three little dots indicating Liam was typing appeared shortly after.

Have you talked to them lately?

Louis furrowed his brows, running his tounge over his top teeth as he quirked his head to the side. He didn't even need context to know what Liam was referring to.

I have not

Clifford appeared infront of him, looking at him expectantly.

"He's trying to make small talk" Louis whispered behind his hand to his dog. Clifford seemingly rolled his eyes as he turned around.

"So dramatic" Louis mumbled through a laugh as he watched Clifford trot to the next room.

He looked back down to his phone

I was thinking we could do a group call later today?

Louis grimaced.

I'd love to

He watched the bubble as Liam typed

Great, ill ring you then

Louis exhaled as he turned his mobile off. He found himself walking to the bathroom, staring at his reflection once more. He smoked cigarette after cigarette down to the butt as he ran his fingers down his face repeatedly. The tobacco under his fingernails accumulated as the bathroom got more smoggy.

At some point he had turned on the shower, he sat on the closed toilet cross legged as he waited for the water to heat up. The humid bathroom was filled with steam and smoke in an instant.

He stripped down without looking at himself as he slipped into the shower. The hot water hit his back as he angled his head upward. He scrubbed every inch of his body as he lathered up his hair with more shampoo that was necessary.

He was out of the shower quick, he washed his face and combed his hair. He coughed as he opened up the bathroom door, walking across his house to get to his room.

He grabbed a shirt and some joggers as his phone started to ring. He rushed over to it and answered on the last ring.

"Hey Louis!" He heard Liams voice before seeing his face projected on the screen. Along with Niall, Zayn and Harry.

"Hi, um I'm naked as fuck at the moment. Sorry, one second" he replied before muting himself. He heard Liam laugh awkwardly as he threw on his comfy clothes.

That just reminded him how none of them were close anymore, and he just wanted to hang up then and there. A few years ago if he had joked about being naked he would have got teased relentlessly, as best friends do. Harry would have blushed and Niall would have laughed. But they're not 18 anymore.

He climbed onto his bed as he hesitantly unmuted himself again, turning his camera on as well.

He waved, no sound coming out of his mouth. His eyes darted from Liam, who had a big smile, to Niall who was only showing the top half of his face, then down to Zayn who was sat at a table.

Then he looked to the last square, Harry. He had a purple blanket draped over his head, and his cheeks were rosy red as he bit the inside of his cheek.

"You were the last to pick up Louis, started to think you weren't going to" Niall joked as he shifted his phone to display his entire face.

"Ah, I just got out of the shower, almost missed you. I'm here now though" he smiled as he tried to cut the awkward tension.

"Nice to see you all again" Zayn spoke, the light behind him made it hard to see his face, but Louis could tell he had a small smile.

"Seeing us all together kind of makes me miss the band" Niall said as he scratched his chin.

An unnecessarily long silence swept over the men.

"Yeah mate, me too" Louis replied.

"So how are you guys? What are you up to?" Liam asked

"Nothing really, been writing a bit of music but nothing serious" Niall replied

"Congrats on the new album Zayn, and Harry I heard you're going to be in a movie?" Liam smiled, rubbing his hands together anxiously.

"Hm, yeah. Yeah it should be good" Harry said.

His voice is deeper

They all nodded trying to fill the silence

"What about you Louis?" Liam asked

"Just walking Cliff and and sleeping" he laughed

"What about you Liam? Heard you got engaged" Niall chuckled

"Yeah! Yes, Maya and I got engaged a few months ago" he smiled, holding his hand up to the camera to show his engagement ring.

"It's a beautiful ring" Harry replied, his hand darting to catch his phone that was falling.

"Thanks!"

Clifford walked past Louis' open door, stopping in the doorway to look at Louis.

He stuck his head in the room, letting out a small bark. Louis muted himself for a second.

"What?" He asked.

"Who are you talking to?" Harry asked, his eyebrows crinkling slightly.

Louis smiled at Clifford before unmuting himself once more.

"Just Clifford" he replied quietly, switching to the back camera to show Cliffors standing at the foot of his bed.

"Hiii Cliff! Let me get Winston so they can meet" Liam happily said. Clifford barked and proceeded to jump up into bed beside Louis. He plopped down ontop of Louis' lap, resting his head on his knee.

Liam popped back into the frame with a wiggling dog in his arms.

"Winston say hi" He said, holding him up to the camera. Clifford sniffed the camera as he watched the dog wiggle out of Liams arms.

Zayn, Niall and Harry just sat there quietly watching the interaction.

Liam sat back down as they all went silent once more.

"So, tell us about the movie Harry" Niall smiled.

"Yeah, erm. We're almost done filming, should be good" Harry said absently. Niall nodded, waiting for him to continue but he never did.

"Are you okay Louis?" A deep voice broke the silence. Louis took a second to process it. To realize Harry had just asked that question.

"Yeah. Why, do I not look alright?" He widened his eyes.

"Not really" Niall chimed in

"Just tired I geuss" he replied. They continued talking about irrelevant things, but Harry kept an eye on Louis. The way he coughed too often and how he muted himself when he got too loud. He didn't really talk much, just reacted.

Harry noticed how he had dark bags under his eyes and how his neck and cheeks were red from scrubbing in the shower. He remembers that used to be a nervous habit of his. Louis always used to scrub his skin raw before any big performance. Usually because he was nervous or anxious, and Harry used to kiss up his warm pink shoulders, holding him closely.

It had become the elephant in the room, everyone could tell there was somthing going on between the two, even now. But nobody dared to bring it up. It was a touchy subject for all of them.

Louis had seen all the articles, he had always been up to date with everyone and everything going on that involved him, and that included the boys. That included Harry.

Even though he knew most of the rumours were probably fake, he still believed them. How could he not? And it's not like he could be jealous that Harry was with someone else, no. They broke up. There is no more 'Louis and Harry'.

Louis took a deep breath, he repositioned his eyes that were staring at the wall, back to the camera.

They were talking about something that Louis didn't hear. He put his phone down so the camera was just displaying the ceiling as he stroked Clifford's curly fur.

He felt his throat get tight as his eyes magically wettened. He sat up straight and used his shirt to dab his eyes. He didn't know why he was crying. Just that the reality of everything caught up to him. It was all really overwhelming.

He looked up at the ceiling, trying to contain the tears that threatened to fall. He shook his head, letting out a wet laugh.

Stop thinking

He picked his phone up again, pretending like none of that ever happened. His eyes settled on Harry who was intently stairing at one spot on the screen. Harry's tounge poked out as he brought the phone closer to him, making Louis crack a small smile.

Niall looked between Harry and Louis on his screen as he got flashbacks to when they would relentlessly flirt in the band. He always made fun of them for it but now he kind of misses the banter. Misses seeing his friends in love, even if they didn't say those words yet. He knew they were thinking them.

Louis tried to enjoy their conversations for the next few minutes, he tried to listen and ask questions and be engaged but his mind just kept wandering back to Harry. Because when Harry's was actively in his life, he had no problems.

"We should meet up soon, you know, go out for tea and catch up" Niall said, he was met with a few silent nods.

"Well, Cliff needs a walk. I should probably go" Louis lied, his cheeks going red as he smiled.

"Oh! Oh, okay. Call me later, yeah?" Liam replied.

"Yeah sure, nice talking to you all again" he said quietly before hitting the 'End Call' button.

He took a deep, shaky breath as he tried to collect his thoughts. He was really overwhelmed at the moment, just seeing them gave him memories that he's not sure if he wants to keep forever or forget.

His face fell into his hands as he let his tears fall more freely. Clifford jumped back onto the bed, nudging his hands with his wet nose, making Louis let out a chuckle-like sob.

He sniffled as he buried his face in Clifford's fur.

"Louis?" He heard.

His heart jumped in his chest, Clifford looked at him with big eyes.

"Hello?" He heard again.

His eyes trailed back to his phone that was sat beside him on his pillow. He picked it up to see that he was still in the group call, his thumb must have missed the 'End Call' button.

"Sorry" he said quickly before pressing the button once more, waiting for the screen to go black before tossing his phone to the foot of the bed.

They had seen his red, teary eyes. They had seen him clinging to Clifford like his life depended on it. And that just made it worse. They had heard him crying quietly.

Why did I have to cry? I'm fine.

He looked at the clock on his wall. It was only 10am still. He groaned.

His phone buzzed under the covers, he rubbed his eyes once more as he let out a breath.

Clifford looked between the phone and Louis, tilting his head to the side.

"I don't want to" Louis said in a whisper, tears still welling up in his eyes.

Clifford rested his paw on Louis' knee, letting out a small whine as to say 'please'. Louis kissed the top of his dogs head before reaching a shaky hand out to the mobile.

We're you crying? Are you alright?

He read the text from Liam and let out a wet laugh. He started chewing on his lip absentmindedly as he read it over and over.

I'm okay!

He sent it and pulled Clifford closer to his body.

Can I come over?

'No, no, no' he thought.

Why?

He watched the bubble as Liam typed again.

We have to talk, can I please come over?

He looked at Clifford, puffing air out of his cheeks as he tried not to cry again.

Ok

Liam just liked his message and Louis layed in his bed. He closed his eyes as he ran his hands through Clifford's fur.

His eyes sprung open.

Harry Harry Harry

His mind was filled with thoughts of the man as realization came over him.

"No" he vocalized even though nobody was there.

"No, stop it" he face palmed, squinting his eyes. Clifford looked concerned, he sat up nosing at Louis' face until he stopped talking.

Clifford looked at him confusedly, still nosing his cheek. Louis smiled at him before grimacing and pulling away from Clifford's wet nose.

"You remember Harry, don't you?" He asked Clifford.

"Well, I can't seem to get him out of my head" he continued.

"I don't know what I'm saying" he chuckled, kissing Clifford between the eyes above his nose.

He pulled himself out from underneath Clifford, standing up beside his bed as he reached his hands over his head, then stretched down to touch his shins.

Louis took his phone once more and googled 'Liam Payne', clicking on the first image that popped up. He aimed his phone screen towards the sleepy pup on his bed.

"That's Liam" he pointed. Clifford just turned to his other side, his back facing Louis.

"Silly" he smiled before making his way downstairs. He didn't know when Liam was coming over, so he decided to make some tea in the meantime.