“Baat itni si hai,

raat bhar do atisha lab bolte rahe

aur humare dil par johar barsate rahe.”

°°°

She was holding his hands tightly, he was making circles with his thumb on her palm. And she looked up at him, her lips moved and......

"My Ma, Sierra Joseph and My papa, Zafar Khan. They met back in 1989, london. Mama was a literature student and Papa was her professor. He had came their for a summer internship as a professor. My mama fell in love with him the moment she lead her eyes on him. He was charismatic and humble. Mama started taking extra classes from him, at first Papa didn't showed any interest but then he started getting infatuated with her."

Zahiah's grip on Dawood's hand tightened. Dawood assured her by pressing her hand.

"Mama was from a catholic Christian family she was just 19 years old, when my Grandparents found out about her illicit affair with my papa. When they got to know that my mama had lost her virginity before marriage and she was expecting a baby. They threw her out of their house. They couldn't bear a child born out of wedlock. My mama had no where to go so she went to my papa. When he got to know about her condition, he was devastated. And like a good human he is. He took responsibility of me and my mama. They got married and Papa moved back to India with mama.

They hide for sometime. But eventually settled in Dehradun. I was born their. My papa named me "Zahiah" it means Brave & beautiful. He used to say when i was a kid that when he held me first time in his arms, he could only think of how beautiful i am & how brave i am. He was the only one who calls me by my full name...Zahiah..."

Zahiah stopped speaking and Dawood looked at her with furrowed eyebrows. She touched his chin lightly and smiled, Dawood was a bit confused by her sudden change of behaviour.

"And you're the second one who dared to call me Zahiah." She laughed and that laugh was melody for Dawood's ears.

He touched her ginger red hair and whispered near her ear, "I've earned a deathly glare for that already, Miss Joseph."

"Okay now, tell me about what happened then."

He stopped playing with her hairs and sat in his previous position.

Zahiah sighed and started telling her story...

"We were a happy family but then, Papa's family got to know about us. He was from a very influential family. He was the eldest son of Agha Suleiman Khan and he was supposed to marry one of his cousins but he denied marrying her. When Agha Suleiman Khan got to know about this he threatened my Papa to marry his cousin, otherwise he'll break all ties with him. My papa loved his father too much and he couldn't bear the thought of loosing his only living parent. So he got married to his cousin but then mama got to k iw about it. She didn't wanted to live with him. She accused him of cheating and she demanded to divorce his cousin. But guess what Papa fell in love with his second wife and he couldn't left her. Ma was heartbroken she couldn't stand the thought of sharing him, she wanted to punish him for breaking her heart. So Mama took divorce from him. I was ten years old when they got separated and the last time I saw my papa i was begging him not to go. I ran miles shouting but he was far too gone.

I grew up. And with each passing year my depression grew with me too. I was fifteen years old when i first tried to kill myself, before that i only used to use razor blade on my thighs, i cut them and try to heal my pain with it. It gives me euphoria, i hurt myself just to shut up the demons in my brain.

When Maa got to know about my suicide attempt & the pain i inflict on myself she was heartbroken. She didn't knew that their divorce and being separated from papa would be this harmful for my mental health. She took me to a psychiatrist, they gave me medicines and did therapy sessions. I got better and now i only get dreams about my papa other than that I've coped up pretty much well. So that's my boring story and deepest darkest secrets."

Zahiah laughed and joked about herself. Dawood's eyes was fixed her, he couldn't understand what this girl is she had suffered so much yet she was smiling and living life to the fullest. He hugged her tightly and pecked her forehead.

"I'm honoured to be your Friend, Zahi."

Zahiah looked at him with perplexed expression.

"What? Aren't you going to say something like ohh Zahiah you're so strong and I'm so inspired....blah..blah..blah...like that."

Zahiah was acting like she was upset with him and faked her anger. Dawood was now laughing, he couldn't control it because she was looking like a pumpkin in anger and he affectionately pulled her cheeks.

Zahiah throws pillows at him and Dawood caught it looking devilishly at her. Giving her, his million dollar dimpled smile.

Their whole trip was spent faraway from their friends in the cabin of the woods. Living the best two days of their life. But As they say With happiness, sadness came free.

***

Dawood and Zahiah both knew that they had something special and that special feelings was growing day by day. Dawood always finds a way to sneak out from the University and take Zahiah on long bike rides with him. They started studying together in library. Taking Lunch together in Canteen. They must have thought nobody's watching them and they can easily fool everyone but someone was watching their every action.

She came running in, her breathe heavied. She was sweating badly and that was making her itchy.

"Ma I'm going for a shower." She called out her mother whose settling table for breakfast. She put her airpods off and about to walk away when ber mother called her.

"Zahiah wait."

Zahiah got froze on her place and didn't dared to move back. Her mother, Her Ma she hadn't called her Zahiah ever and now she was calling her by her name. She was only Zee for Sierra Joseph but now what made her Zahiah for Her. She didn't knew but soon she'll get to know about it.

"Sit Zahiah."

Without questioning her mother, she sat on the chair and waited for her to speak up.

"Zee, I've fixed your marriage with Jonah Fernandez."

Zahiah who was listening to this whole conversation silently, stood up from her palce and in her rage she threw the bowl of soup on floor and it scattered into pieces.

"How could you do this to me,Ma? Without asking me anything? How could you take such a big decision of my life on your own? I've not completed my studies yet. I've dreams to achieve and Marriage wasn't on my plan right now. So tell Mia aunty that she can find another bride for his son."

Zahiah gave a sharp look to her mother and started walking towards her room. When her mother held her hand. She looked back and see her mother crying. She hadn't seen Sierra Joseph crying when the love of her life left her. She hadn't seen her crying in her entire life and the moment she saw her mother crying. She felt as if something had broke inside her something very precious that couldn't be fixed anytime soon.

"I'm dying Zahiah Khan."

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