Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu lovelies

I request my precious readers to pray their Salah if they haven't prayed yet before reading this chappy..

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Aala's pov :

The past two days had been unpredictable a lot of things happened which left me stunned and also made me realize there's more to the story when it comes to zaamin.

I still can't believe how he was able to cope up with all the things all these years without showing anyone his weakness or how disturbed he was.

His strength and courage left me speechless like he's something else losing his twin I couldn't even imagine how he would've felt at that moment but I also knew he was not the kind of person to show his vulnerability to anyone easily but in front of me he did which speaks a volume itself of what he felt towards me.

He bared his soul he let his guard down he was ok to not to be ok in front of me But the main question is

Am I able to reciprocate the feelings?

Which haunts me day and night he's too good and that kills me for not giving him his rights for not being able to love him like he deserved he's a great man and he didn't have to endure any more pain especially if I was the cause.

Things had gotten awkward between us since t-the kiss which almost happened if we were not interrupted by one of the maids.

I still couldn't belive myself that moment happened between us it was like just a spur of weak moment.

Flashback

Zain was playing in the pool with zaamin, I was looking at them fondly of how happy and cheerful they looked.

My legs were dipped in the pool till my shin as I clapped for zain as he splashed water on zaamin fast giggling he was wearing arm floaties to aid him while swimming and zaamin chased him growling like a lion he was wearing his swimming trunk and his upper body bare.

My heart lurches at the sight of them two together how I wish if zain was able to be with d-dani, if he was here now his reaction would've been priceless he had planned so many things to do with zain if only he was here, my eyes misted immediately as tears blurred my vision but I held them in check I didn't wanted to ruin zaamins cheery mood.

Everytime I try to let my past stay in past one or the other thing triggers my memory its so stressing and heart breaking that I didn't know how to cope up.

But after knowing and witnessing zaamins side story and how he had coped up with the pain gave me strength and motivation to from my past.

I've come into conclusion that dani is never going to come back to me and only his memories are left to cherish till my last breath but moving on is something which is going to take a long time.

But I won't give up after my intense talk with myself I knew I couldn't hurt zaamin he was already hurt a lot of times in the past and I don't wish to be the one to hurt him.

He doesn't deserve any of that!

"Mwamma!" Zains squeal broke me from my thinking that I didn't notice when he came out of the pool as he jumped in the water bravely and zaamin whistled laughing at his antics.

I smiled at him as he and zaam swam towards me, I bent forward and kissed zains forehead he gave me a toothy grin and zaamin combed his wet hair back which was falling on his forehead.

"Its high time to get out of the pool otherwise you'll catch cold zain!" I warned him and he just pouted.

Again that pouting face!

He has an addiction to be in water but I'm immune to his puppy eyes but sadly zaam was not "do as your mama says zain!" Zaam stroked his hair as he pouted more but zaamin whispered something in his ear and his pout suddenly turned into a full blown smile while zaamin winked at him.

"What just happened here?" I asked them keeping my hands on both side of waist while arching a brow.

Zain smiled sheepishly at me while zaamin just cleared his throat and winked at me and my eyes widened because it was the first when zaamin was being this playful with me.

"Elena please help zain to get clean!" Zaamin told our trusted maid she was also an experienced nanny.

"Let's get you cleaned buddy then we'll have your special request strawberry Gelato!" She told him scooping up as he squealed hearing that he's finally going to have his treat.

I stood up from my seating position on the edge of the pool when suddenly my feet slipped "carefull sunshine!" Zaamin yelled a loud shriek escaped my lips as I fell deep into the pool as the water entered my nose making me lose my consciousness for a second until zaamin pulled me up with his force as I collided into his bare chest coughing the water out of my system.

"Are you ok? Did you got hit somewhere?" He asked worry dripping in his voice as he combed my hair back and wiped the water out of my face then touched my arms shoulder looking if I got hurt somewhere.

"N-no I'm alright!" I told him in between coughing as he heaved a sigh "wallahi sunshine you scared me there just for a second I thought you got hurt somewhere!" He sighed as he hugged me tight to his chest burying his face in my neck, fear was visible in his voice I was soaked from head to toe my dress was sticking to my body like glue.

"I'm fine zaam you worry too much!" He pulled back and narrowed his eyes at me "How can I not you're so precious to my heart! You rule it if something happens to you then how can I live?" his confession left me speechless my mouth opened and closed but no words seemed to come out i was gaping at him like a fish out of water.

"Believe it or not you've become my whole world without you it'll be meaningless for me!" I didn't noticed the proximity between us until his breath was fanned my lips, his lucid baby blue eyes was filled with emotions, he gave me an heart acging smile that just took my breath away.

Like we were possessed by something he began to close the distance between our lips as I closed my eyes gripping his shoulder tight when "young master and madame little master is asking for you!" Elenas voice broke our moment as I gained my sense back and I looked at him shock.

We almost kissed if she hadn't interrupted us.

I quickly hurried out of the pool not even sparing a glance backwards too ashamed of my actions that I still couldn't belive.

Flashback ends...

Did I almost kissed him i beat myself thinking about it.

But you were anticipating it too I scowled at my inner voice not being able to face the truth.

Oh allah whats happening to me?

Is this right or even normal?

Am I supposed to be feeling this way?

Does this make me desperate?

I groaned loudly trying to overpower the unwanted voices in my head.

I'm trying to move forward but these doubts keep pulling me back!

I do not know if I will ever get used to being like this with all these new feelings and doubt.

I sneezed again for the fiftieth time today I'm coming down with something, being in water for so long didn't helped me a bit because of zains request to stay a whole afternoon in the pool.

One thing I noticed that whenever we're not on speaking terms zain will be the one who's going to get affected and I won't let that happen because whats the point of getting married if I can't give him the happiness which he deserves.

"Mam what do you want to eat for dinner?" The head cook asked me as I looked at her apologetically for zoning out while sitting on the barstool of the kitchen.

"Mixed feta greens soup with baguette will be nice thank you!" I told her politely because it's zaamins loved dish as he always demands something light for dinner.

As the had passed I've come to acknowledge his habits and schedule and today he'll be home early because every Saturday he finishes his work fast so he could spend time with his family and friends.

The loud giggling sounds were coming from the hallway as I turned to see aleena zaamins cousin and his sister aliza was surrounded by their girlfriends.

As soon as their gaze landed on me they didn't hide their dislike towards me as they scowled openly.

"Who's she alee?" One woman with strawberry blond hair pointed at me.

Aleena snorted "she's my so called brother wife!" Aliza replied with degrading voice.

The blonde gasped so as the other "like for real? I thought she was a maid i mean girl look at what's she wearing! So old fashioned!" She told sarcastically as everyone laughed at her mean remark.

My fist balled in anger, I was wearing a floral jumpsuit with a cardigan and my dusty rose hijab which didn't seemed to be old fashioned to me I was not the weak one to let anyone bully me but arguing with these kind of people is like hitting your head on the wall.

I unclenched my fist as I smiled at them, they probably will think I've gone crazy as I was smiling at them but what I felt was actually pity for them of how delusional and imaginary their life had become.

May Allah guide them to straight path!

I prayed for them silently while I turned my back on them since the day I had arrived the whole families behavior was unwelcoming and cold towards me.

I didn't told anything to zaamin till this date because how should I tell him when they treat him the same as me, how can someone be this cruel was out of my thinking capability.

I sneezed again while I mumbled an Alhamdulillah again my nose was red so was my whole face I was tired and my body ache just worsened.

"Should I call the doctor madame? You look so pale!" Elenas voice was filled with concern but I just shook my head in no "its just a simple cold it'll pass in no time!" I assured her smiling while wiping my nose and throwing the tissue in the dustbin.

"Just let me know when the food is done!" I told her smiling as I made my way towards our wing my head started spinning as I felt dizzy but it was not severe it just lasted like few seconds.

I entered my room and started to pick zains toys which was spread everywhere like everywhere looks like I need to have a word with him he's becoming spoiled day by day.

I took his toy plane which was the original model of zaamins aircraft in a toy version which he made specifically for zain and the size can't even fit my both both arms extended.

This boy is so careless!

I put it on the shelf when suddenly my head started spinning so bad that i tried to catch something but it was no use as my consciousness slipped out "Aalaa!" Was the last thing I heard before surrendering to darkness.

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