Unedited

"Fuck. Shit. Fuck," I curse aloud staring at the seventh stick that's drenched in my piss telling me my future. A fucking fortune telling piece of plastic with the ability to ruin my whole life. I line all seven sticks up and contemplate what to do with them.

Do I throw them away? Then I have no proof of this. Well, I don't think anyone would think I'm lying about something as serious as me being a mother.

I am taking really good care of Boomer so I assume I'll be an alright mom to this tiny blob growing inside of me. Maybe an alright mom is a stretch, I'll be able to keep the kid alive.

"Fuck," I say again running my fingers through my greasy hair. I haven't left the apartment since I was eight days late. I'm now thirteen days late and trying to hold off the search party that I'm sure Ryder and Carley are planning.

Okay, okay. Calm down, Addy.

How long can I really ignore this before it becomes a problem? Shit, when was the last time I drank wine? Never mind, I'm already screwing up the baby's life.

I melt into a puddle on the floor, so pathetic that Boomer simply walks by me in search of something better to do. I let the tears fall freely now and can't control the sobs that escape my throat.

The benefits of living alone is that no one can hear you cry. Except for the neighbors.

I have to decide if I go right to Ryder and tell him the news or do I tell everyone else and let them accidentally tell Ryder? That's not a bad idea. Carley can't keep her mouth shut for anything.

I take a picture of the seven pregnancy tests and send them to Carley without any comment. I wait for her to text back. She never does.

She is probably making a baby with Gabe or working or something else. My heart is pounding as I stare and stare some more at my silent phone.

"What the hell?" I hear Carley's shriek echoing in my empty home. Even Boomer picks his head up when he hears Carley's high pitched wail.

I sit on the floor, dried tears all over my face, Carley sighs, "how can I yell at you when you look this pathetic?"

She wraps me up in her arms and rocks me like a mother would do with her child. Carley would be a good mom, not me. Maybe I can gift the baby to Carley. That must be illegal, right?

"What are you going to do?" Carley asks. The question is so simple but so heavy. I can feel each word sitting like a wright on my chest, crushing my lungs. I want to figure out a simple answer but there aren't any. It isn't a yes or no decision.

"I'm hoping you can tell Gabe and Gabe can tell Ryder," I say and Carley's eyes widen as each word registers in her brain.

"That is the worst idea you've ever had and will probably work. Gabe saw the text," Carley says and she looks guilty. I feel sort of angry at her for showing her boyfriend a text I sent. But this is what I wanted to happen, I think.

Now I'm sweaty and feel like I might throw up. I haven't had any pregnancy symptoms until I took those damned tests. I would have been better not knowing, now everything I know about pregnancy is dancing around in my brain and threatening to ruin my life.

The door opens and slams closed forcefully. I already know it's Ryder. Carley squeezes my hand and shrugs, "I guess your idiotic plan worked."

"What plan?" Ryder demands rushing into the bedroom. His face is flushed and he can barely make eye contact with me.

"I wanted Carley to tell Gabe and Gabe to tell you."

He laughs hysterically. Ryder has tears forming in his eyes as he continues to laugh. This was not the response I was expecting when he showed up. Does he think I'm joking? I don't know how to break it to him if thinks I'm lying.

"Fuck, Addison. You can't even tell me we're having a baby and we're having a kid. How the hell is this going to work?"

"Don't yell at her," Carley comes to my defense her eyes narrowing at Ryder.

Ryder is now pacing across the floor at a record pace. If he wasn't so angry I might actually laugh at the whole situation. I stand up and walk over to him, he stops pacing and stands in front of me, I wrap my arms around his waist and lean my head on his chest.

He sighs and kisses the top of my head, "I have no fucking clue how to do this, Addy."

"Me either!" I say and a small laugh slips out and Ryder joins in. Now we are both laughing and Carley is staring at us like we've gone crazy and we might have.

"So I guess that means I'm finally moving in?" Ryder asks.

"Guess so. And we need to keep a plant alive and get another dog before having this baby. It's a rule if we can't keep the plant alive--"

Ryder cuts me off, "it's too late for that. You're already pregnant."

"Are we excited about this?" I ask him.

"Sure. Excited and fucking terrified."

-

(I'm sure this won't be the last bonus chapter. I can never get enough to Addy and Ryder!)