A few days later...

"Please, can you get me pizza?" Ryder whines from the couch. His feet are propped up and Boomer is snuggling next to him. Ryder is petting Boomer and I'm not sure this dog has ever been happier.

I'm pretty damn mad though. Who knew a grown man could be so damn annoying. He is eating up this whole being hurt thing. He has been lounging on the couch in only sweatpants since he came home from the hospital.

His chest is burned from the fire and his ribs are bruised so his skin is a mixture of pink, purple, and red. It's like a fucking sunset on his chest. Ugh.

"Can you put some clothes on?" I say rolling my eyes and cleaning up his mess of water bottles and cookie wrappers.

"I can take my pants off instead," he smirks and when he notices I'm not smiling he says, "the ointment shit makes my shirt stick to me and then it fucking hurts to pull off. Deal with it, we'll be able to have sex soon." I can tell he is joking but I'm pissed that he is always joking.

"Ugh! And I'm not getting you pizza!" I say stomping around the kitchen.

I can hear his chuckle from where I am, "come sit with me."

"No," I say. Boomer picks his head up and gives me sad puppy eyes basically begging me to come sit with them.

"Fine," I say and sit right next to Boomer and far away from Ryder.

"Why are you so mad?" he asks. I can tell he is still mocking me but I don't care. I'm annoyed for no reason and I don't want to admit that.

"You're being annoying," I say. Hoping that is enough of an explanation for him. He smiles and reaches his arm across the back of the couch to tough my hair. He winces slightly as he stretches.

I give up and walk around to sit next to him and he relaxes his arm.

"Are you okay? You've been on edge since I got home," he says tracing the side of my face lightly. He said home. Does he really think of this house with me and Boomer as home? I lean into him slightly and wish I knew the real answer to why I'm acting this way. I've been annoyed with him but also so happy to see him here every morning and every night.

"I'm fine," I say and go to stand up. He grabs my hand and I turn around. Fuck. His eyes and Boomer's eyes are my weakness. I swear they could ask me to jump through a flaming hoop with a monkey on my back by just giving me sad wide eyes.

I guess Boomer wouldn't be able to ask me that. But when Boomer begs for cheese he easily gets it.

"What are you thinking about?" Ryder asks.

Oh, if only you knew.

I shrug.

"Tell me what's wrong," he speaks softly and I think I melt a bit into the floor. I'm such a fucking mess.

"I don't know," I answer honestly and take my hand back from him.

"Do you not want me here?" he asks he looks hurt and I hate that he thinks that. I guess I have been acting that way though.

I shake my head and sigh, "I don't like that you're hurt. And that you're sitting on the couch eating packages of cookies and not moving around and not being stupid with me. I don't like this." I say this all in a rush and begin pacing in front of him and Boomer. Boomer looks up then goes back to sleeping.

"Hey, babe, relax," he says and stands up cautiously. I try to ignore the look of pain that crosses his face. He wraps his arms carefully around me, probably to stop my pacing.

"I can't," I say and want to burn off all this energy somehow. Maybe I should start running or jogging or lifting weights?

Or I can become a champion food eater? That seems more my speed.

"So you're upset because I got hurt?" he asks. I shrug again because I don't know how else to respond. It is so stupid of me to be annoyed or upset because he got hurt doing his job.

I mean, I could get hurt doing my job too. Rose thorns are dangerous.

He looks at me with this expression I can't read. I have been getting better at reading all of his faces and his body language. I look away from him because it's all too much. We are too much too soon and I don't know how to handle it all.

"It's part of the job." He says simply. He says it as something I should just accept and then I remember. The conversation about how his job comes first, always. How his ex-girlfriend couldn't handle the unknown of this job and how I assumed I could. I assumed I could handle it until I fell in love with him.

No, you are not in love with him. Too much too soon, remember?

"I know that. But it's easier to know that then to actually see it!" I'm hysterical again. I break free of his grasp an continue my pacing. I can't stop. I'm going to run a hole through the wood floor. Fall through the hole and be stuck underneath the house forever.

"So what do we do?" Ryder asks and I stop in my tracks. My heart is beating in my ears and I can't look him in the eye.

What do we do?

"What do you mean?" I ask knowing exactly what he means.

"This can happen again," he says and walks back to the couch. He is still in pain and I'm sure my being a pain in the ass isn't helping.

"I know," I say softly.

"Is this something you can handle or not?" he asks very direct. I can tell that he has been through this conversation before and I feel bad that I'm doing this again to him.

I can't answer. I don't know how to answer.

"Addison," he says, "I'm really happy with you. I want to be with you for a long time, but this job is also my life."

"I know," I repeat. "I wouldn't ask you to give up your job."

He nods, "so are you asking me to give you up?"

I shake my head and will the tears not to fall. I don't cry. I get mad, I curse, but I do not cry.

Fuck, why am I crying?

I saw this on Facebook the other day and it reminded me of the story😂😂 i figured I'd share it with you all!!!