*unedited*

Two days later...

"Are you really still avoiding him?" Carley asks from the front of the store. I can hear in the tone of her voice that she disapproves of this, but I don't care. Carley usually disapproves of my life choices.

I don't know why I'm avoiding him other than I'm uncomfortable around him. I don't know if I'm wasting my time with him or if I'm okay with wasting my time with him. Why does he have to be so nice and funny and charming?

Fuck, if he was just something good to look at I wouldn't care.

I wasted so many years of my life with Graham and it's hard to shake this feeling I'm having of doing it all over again. I want to scream at myself to stop comparing everything to Graham but he was all I knew.

That's why I've been hiding in the back. Creating different flower arrangements and researching new flowers that I haven't experimented with yet. I keep telling Ryder I'm busy and I know he doesn't believe me.

My phone buzzes with a text from Ryder.

"Shit," I mutter opening the text. I'm here. Come out or I'm coming in.

I text back.

"You're fucking hilarious." Ryder is not laughing. And I'm not laughing either, my heart is kind of racing so fast and hard I think I could be having a heart attack. That would seriously be my luck. Eating junk food and watching TV for two days straight and I die of a heart attack. I could be the poster person for what not to do when you're nursing a broken heart.

Can this even be considered a broken heart? We didn't break.

"I've been told that before," I say and he doesn't crack a smile. Shit, this is worse than I thought.

"Don't do anything stupid," he warns looking at me with raised eyebrows. How the hell can he tell what I'm thinking?

"I wasn't," I say.

He rolls his eyes, "Addison, your forehead scrunches up when you're thinking and you thinking usually leads to stupidity."

"You're rude. Get out of here," I turn around and pretend to rearranged paperwork that is already immaculately organized by Carley.

"Why are you hiding from me?" he asks, his voice soft. He is right next to me now. Blocking my way so I can't escape him. I wish I could be angry about that, but I'm not.

I shrug.

"That isn't an answer," he sighs. He runs his fingers through his wavy hair and I can see how frustrated he is. He is holding his other hand by his side in a fist and he is looking everywhere but at me.

Then Carley busts in and she acts shocked to see him. I know for a fact that she saw him walk in. Carley is an A+ stalker. She knows all. Then how the hell didn't she know about her sister and Ryder's cousin? Or her sister and Ryder in general?

"Stop thinking," Ryder smirks at me. He is trying to lighten the mood and it isn't working so well. A heavy silence falls over the three of us. I'm thinking that maybe Carley is enough of a distraction that I can sneak out and run as far away from this place as possible. Start a new life somewhere different. Maybe I can even change my name.

"I didn't know you used to date my sister," Carley says innocently.

"Shut the fuck up, Car," I warn.

"I didn't know I dated your sister either," Ryder says unsure. He is looking at me now and then he nods, "so this is why you're avoiding me. At least it's a reason."

"She's marrying your cousin," Carley continues.

"Do you not know what shut up means?!" I basically shout, "and who the hell is running the store if we are both back here?" My chest is heaving with nerves and built up energy that I need to release somehow.

They both ignore me.

"Rosie?" He asks and hearing her name in his voice just about kills me. I think I'm going to be sick. Why the hell am I so dramatic?

Carley nods.

"We didn't date," he says to me.

"I think that's the problem," Carley answers making Ryder turn to her.

I give Carley the nastiest look I can muster and she finally gets the hint and leaves the room muttering something about hearing the bell over the door.

"What?" Ryder asks walking closer to me and taking my hand in his. I hate how warm and comfortable I feel when he's next to me, like a comforter straight out of the dryer.

"You don't do relationships," I say.

He shakes his head, "Rosie didn't want anything more from me either."

"Stop saying her name. It's making me sick."

"Okay," he says cautiously.

"You told me you don't do relationships and then all of a sudden you change your mind and we're trying one. You are back and forth and so fucking confusing. I don't like it. I don't like how you make me feel and I don't like how much I miss you when you aren't around." I'm out of breath and wishing I didn't drink all that coffee. That is the reason my ranting is even worse than usual.

He has his hand resting on my cheek. His thumb running back and forth gently. My eyes close on their own and I snap them open. He can't win.

"You're different. I want to try with you."

"I'm a mess," I say pushing his hand off and gesturing towards my side of the office that is piled with papers and pictures of Boomer.

"You're not a mess," he answers, "well, you're a bit of a mess but I like it. A lot."

I don't say anything.

"I know I keep changing things and keep asking you to just see where this goes, but I get that you aren't okay with that. I'm not good at this. I hate that I like you as much as I do and that I miss you all the time. Addison, you're the only girl that can make me laugh and want to pull my fucking hair out at the same time. And I like things messy," he finishes with a smile that can melt me into a stupid puddle.

"So you'll come to dinner at my Dad's tonight?" I ask.

He nods and closes the distance between us.

"And you'll ask me to your cousin's wedding?" I say in between kisses.

He laughs, "Only if you ask me to Rosie's wedding."

"Fine. I'll ask you in a few months," I tell him.

He pulls away from me, "that wedding is over six months away."

"So?" I ask.

"So if you're planning on still being with me in six months doesn't that mean you're my girlfriend?" he winks.

"Fine. Whatever. I'll be your girlfriend. Stop begging."

He laughs and kisses me again and again until I'm dizzy and ready to take him home.

We walk out of the back room hand in hand, "Carley we're going."

"Have fun you two. Use protection." Carley answers shocking an older woman shopping in the corner of the store.

"Thanks for telling me what Addison's problem was. I guess I'll come to you for every issue?" Ryder asks.

"It's probably your best bet."Carley says.

I sigh, "I hate you both."