The date...

I'm nervous as I wander around my house trying to get ready for this date. I don't know why I'm nervous. Ryder has already seen me drunk and naked, what else is there?

I throw on jeans and a t-shirt since we aren't going anywhere glamorous and put on Converse. Then I wait.

I pace back and forth while Boomer watches me from his spot on the couch.

"I know, I know, I'm freaking out for no reason," I say to Boomer. He looks at me like he knows I'm going crazy.

Then we both see Ryder's car pull up and run to the window. He walks out of his car looking too perfect in a pair of sunglasses.

"Wow," I say to Boomer whose ears perk up, "I know."

Ryder waves at us through the window and I duck and Boomer jumps up, his tail hitting me in the face.

"Hi," I say opening the door and letting him in. Boomer attacks him with slobbery kisses. I wish I could be that forward.

"Do I get one from your mom?" Ryder asks Boomer. He wags his tail and I shake my head.

"Nope, no kissing on the first date."

"It's our first date? Shouldn't it be our third?" Ryder asks wrapping me in his arms. I am basically a puddle at his feet, which is so disgusting I want to slap myself.

"No." I push him off of me and try to ignore the pout he is giving me. I grab my bag, hook Boomer's leash to his collar, and we head out.

"Boomer, I love you, but I might need some alone time with your mom at some point," Ryder says bending down to Boomer's level. The dog wags his tail like he understands every word Ryder is saying.

I roll my eyes, "date one means we don't need alone time. If this continues I'll get a babysitter."

Ryder stops walking, "you're kidding right? You don't actually have a dog babysitter."

"It's called a dog-sitter for fuck's sake and of course. If he is left alone he eats everything. He ate all my underwear so now most have holes. And he chewed apart a bra once too," I tell him.

"Lucky guy," Ryder comments.

I slap his arm and get into the car without another word. I hope I can handle the know kissing/ alone time on the first date. What the hell was I thinking making this rule?

Ryder drives using directions I'm giving him. It's not far, just a small beach located about twenty minutes away that allows dogs.

"Fuck, Ryder, I pointed left! Left not right!" I say as we drive in a circle for the tenth time.

"Addison, I'm driving! I can't see where the hell you're pointing. You sure as hell know how to talk so use your freaking voice," he says.

I laugh and shrug, "whoops."

We finally make it to the beach. It's mostly deserted even though it's a beautiful night. We walk through the sand. Ryder holds Boomer's leash and I hold a bag of things I brought.

I lay out a giant blanket and we all sit. Boomer is already half asleep by the time I take out a bottle of wine and two glasses.

"You're good," he says as we clink our glasses together. I then take out three peanut butter sandwiches and hand one to Boomer and one to Ryder. I also brought chips and cookies.

"A grown up picnic," I say taking a bite of my sandwich.

"Fuck, how am I going to top wine and sandwiches on the beach with a dog? Maybe you should just plan the next few dates," Ryder says.

"Hmmm, who says there will be a next date?" I ask.

He leans closer to me and brushes his lips against my cheek, "we're passed the point of wondering if we work."

"We don't know if we work yet," I argue.

He shakes his head, "we work."

"So you want to be my boyfriend?" I ask smirking at him.

He laughs, "one date at a time, Addison."

"You are so confusing!" I say throwing my hands up in the air. One second he says he misses me, wants me, but then the next he is positive that he doesn't want a commitment. I'm getting whiplash.

"I don't want to be played with. Graham screwed me over and I know we already talked about this but your constant back and forth is confusing and I'm not doing it again." I say not making eye contact with him.

I already know that I like him too much for no strings attached sex. I know that if that was his offer after tonight I'd say no.

Graham made me feel worthless and like I was replaceable. Ryder makes me feel the opposite and that is fucking scary.

He puts his hand on my knee and looks at me with his clear blue eyes, "I want to see if this can work. I want to figure this out with you. I have a crazy work schedule and I want to make sure we can handle that before we label anything. Please, Addison, let's just see where this goes."

"Okay," I say. I know that I owe myself to see this through but I will not lose myself in the process.

I worked too hard after Graham left me to start the same cycle over with another guy.

Wow, is this what growing up feels like?

🙈