~~

She was hiding something I could feel it.

I adore Calla, I really do. The woman is my world, my mischievous little goddess, my light, my wild little pet.

Shes everything to me.

Which is why I couldn't sit there and continue stroking her soft skin as she lied through her teeth.

I told her that I was glad her mistake had brought her to me. Which was true I am more than glad to have her in my life I'm elated she graces my home with her girlish skate and her cheshire grins. But even without peering into her mind I knew she was lying to me.

I didn't dip into her thoughts and I didn't pry for answers.

But I didn't let her kiss me when she had tried either.

And I'm nearly positive her eyes growing wide with hurt and her fingers stilling on my cheek would be ingrained into my mind for a long time.

And beneath that hurt of hers there was understanding.

She knew I knew she was lying.

Which is probably why she only looked away when our eyes met, her fingers sliding from my skin and back into the water.

I would always be there for Calla she knew that

How could I not be there for the person who had already brought me so much light?

But knowing she was unwilling to trust me with even who she was is unnerving.

Its eyes opening.

Its heart breaking.

It hurts knowing that the girl I adore more than anything doesn't trust me.

Doesn't believe that she can tell me.

Doesn't want to.

I downed my scotch.

My brother who I had forgotten was sitting across from me rose a brow, "trouble brother?"

I shook my head. Angelica poured me another glass with a sugary smile.

Aldric looked as if he did not believe me, "where is your pet? Did she not wish to play?" He gestured to the card game the three of us were currently playing.

I shook my head, "she was tiered. Poor thing wasted a lot of energy."

She didn't want to come. She wouldn't even look me in the eye when I had asked if she wanted to play.

Aldric frowned, "did I scare her off? I will not tell father you know that brother...as long as she will behave in public."

"It had nothing to do with you Aldric."

It was me she didn't want to be near.

Angelica drummed her fingers on the table, "Kaden darling you should really stop spoiling the little brat. She's ungrateful and rude."

I grit my teeth, part of me agreeing that maybe if I didn't spoil Calla so much...things would be different somehow. If I had gone and progressed our relationship without the glittering jewels and the expensive promises she would I don't know see us as more eye to eye.

Part of me thought that maybe she didn't trust me because we just seemed so different on paper.

I looked back at Angelica, "She isn't ungrateful or rude."

The vampiric woman smiled teasingly, "sure she isn't, I swear you care too much about her, acting as if you've been through a lovers quarrel with a pet. you too good for your own good darling."

I couldn't help the slight tensing of my shoulders and the glance at my brother at the mention of lovers.

I glanced at mt brother to see him looking between angelica and I as the woman slowly ran her hand up my arm.

He shook his head a bit and looked away.

Meanwhile Angelica just kept prowling. I was in too much of a daze to really care all that much.

Its always been this way with us since we had matured, She would practically throw herself at me and I never really gave a damn about what happened so I just let her do as she pleased.

It was easy and kept any sort of sexual frustration I had at bay.

Distantly I heard my brother leave the room, a maid telling him he had a call, as Angelicas fingers traced my jawline.

She practically purred, "Kaden...don't you miss the old days? It's been a while since we have been together. And the last time something started..."

Calla walked in.

I remember her doing that and screaming nonsense before telling me I was worth more than Angelica and asking what I would do if a girl I was interested in saw that.

I had told her I would be more careful.

Angelica was out of her seat and in my lap, "We haven't had any fun since that pet of yours arrived."

It had actually been longer but she was always the only one who initiated anything so I never really minded the long absence of her.

I didn't bother telling her it had been longer less she get the wrong idea.

"Kaden...I've been thinking."

I glanced up at her as she stroked my jaw.

"I know you care for that...thing, and I care for you a lot. I had been talking to daddy and he agrees its about time I got married..."

Angelica always thinks she's going to be married but never does so due to my always telling her I wouldn't be her lover.

She asks me if I would every time.

"...we were each others firsts."

alcohol is to blame for that one.

"And we always come back to one another."

She kissed my jaw gently.

I didn't bother telling her I never came back to her she always just decided we should have sex. It made it easier for me considering my scar. most women didn't mind it some even liked it but they all wanted to know why I had it, I don't like talking much about it.

"I think since you have been unmarried so one as have I we should marry one another. We are friends and although I despise the little thing I would not mind you keeping Calla. She can help me with the children when the time comes."

I didn't respond.

She gave a soft giggle, "I know its a lot Kaden but I think we will be wonderful together."

She kissed me before I said a word.

I let her.

She wanted to be married. Wanted to have children.

If I close my eyes at let the small haze of alcohol cloud some of my mind I could pretend it was Calla.

Pretend if I opened my eyes a beautiful blonde woman in a royal blue day dress would be sitting there bluhing slightly from the public display and her confession of affections.

I had always thought Calla would be beautiful in clothing from one of many eras long forgotten, a beautiful Lady in blue.

And if I didn't think too much about anything else, I could pretend the lips on my own were a bit fuller, the skin so warm it sent sparks through me.

I kissed back.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I heard the door click open and a soft gasp.

"I-I would scream about my virgin eyes but thats no longer useable due to the fact that its been said before and uh...other things."

My eyes snapped open and I whirled around to face Calla.

Her humorous grin was forced and her eyes were growing foggy, "I would say thanks for inviting me to play but this isn't my kind of game."

She turned from the room as I stood in shock of what just happened.

I didn't miss the first tear roll down her cheek as the door clicked behind her.

I threw my glass against the wall watching it shatter as I let out a colorful stream of curses.

Angelica gave a small gasp, "Kaden yo-"

I stormed from the room. I needed to find Calla and explain...

Explain what? that I had just neither confirmed nor denied Angelicas proposal for marriage? That yes I did kiss the woman back but because in my head it was some twisted fantasy about her. Being able to be with her in public when in reality I cannot, being able to marry her and have children with her?

Tell her that in my mind I had everything from her she could never truly give me?

even I felt like hitting myself after playing that explanation through my head. What woman would believe that truth or not? and even if by some miracle she did it would only reinforce her insecurities about not being able to give me what I wanted.

When in reality I knew I should be satisfied having her. Thoughts of children and eternity should even be crossing my mind, it was selfish and impossible. Calla has given me everything she could.

Her words from that day not too long ago passed through my mind;

"but you're worth more than that. no one should just let someone their not interested in touch them, what if you find someone you really like and want to be with and she saw that?"

I still didn't know. I found her, I had her, she saw...that, and I have no idea what to do.