• 𝓜𝓪𝓮 •

Noah's breath caressed my neck and I closed my eyes to the sensation. Before his change, this was all I ever wanted. For him to touch me. For me to feel him against me. We didn't even need to have sex. I just wanted and craved intimacy with him.

His hands lightly touched my sides before I felt his lips against my throat. It was so featherlight that I wouldn't have felt it, if it hadn't been for his breathing that suddenly picked up. His hands tightened on my sides as he brushed his lips over my wounds, pausing for a moment over my pulse. I knew he could feel it. How fast my heart was beating from his proximity to me.

I could tell myself time and time again that I hated vampires. That I couldn't trust any of them. But Noah wasn't any normal vampire.

"Mae." His voice was rough as he pressed his forehead against my shoulder. When I started to pull away, he wrapped his arms around me and held me closer. "Give me a minute. Please."

I stared over his shoulder, at the closed door, wishing he would let me go before I said or did something stupid.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you what I am. I'm sorry I aided Kite in bringing you back. Honestly, that was done out of selfishness because I wanted you back too. I'm sorry about it all."

I didn't tell him it was okay and all was forgiven. I doubted he expected me to forgive him so quickly anyway. Because it wasn't okay. There were outlets he could have used to tell me what happened before I found out in the woods. And if I escaped, it meant I didn't want to live in the shit show that was the south district. Anyone with a brain could have figured that out.

He pressed a kiss against the side of my throat before pulling away.

I raised my hand and touched the wound Zero inflicted, noting with some relief that the pain had faded to a dull ache, and only hurt if I pressed too hard.

I looked up into Noah's green eyes. "Thank you."

"It's not fully healed," he said. "You need to take it easy for a few days."

I blinked. What was he expecting me to do? Go for a jolly jaunt through the district and risk people realizing who I was, or worse, having Zero find me?

I finally just nodded my agreement. I wouldn't leave. Not yet. I'd escape again at some point, and I'd just continue running. The biggest flaw in my execution last time was the fact that I stopped moving. I remained in that little alcove because that's where Tati could find me. If I kept going, I didn't have a source of nourishment. I got too comfortable with the idea that I was far enough away that they wouldn't bother looking that far out.

But to escape again, I had to get Kite to trust me. I had to get Noah and Luca to trust me. I had to figure out a way around Zero, especially now that I was in the castle.

But did I want to leave Noah? Luca, I could leave because I didn't know him anymore. So many years had passed since I last saw him, and he wasn't that seventeen year old boy anymore. The way he looked at me now was anything but an innocent boy's interest, and I wondered if he even knew I noticed. Kite, I could leave in a heartbeat. The fucking dick.

Noah, however...

I looked up at him again.

I needed to figure out where his loyalties were. Whether that be with Kite and the vampires, or with me and the humans.

He tilted his head. "What's wrong?"

It wasn't time to broach that subject. I had to feel him out first. I didn't want to leave him behind, but I would if need be. There was a lot of planning that needed to be done first because I wouldn't have Tati to lean on to give me food and water. I couldn't just run and hope for the best. Not again.

"Nothing." I smiled. "I'll stay here for the rest of the day. If you can get me some books, paper, and pens, I'll be set."

"Still reading those smut books," he teased.

I snorted, forgetting that he once found me reading an erotica one day and had me read the passage I was on. It was amusing to say the least, speaking I was on a part where the main guy was eating out the main girl. I remembered the way he looked at me as I read it, and how later that night, I imagined that scene again, but with the two of us.

"Please," I said, rolling my eyes. "The only way humans are allowed to have sex is if it's to impregnate someone. Sorry, my uterus is a no-baby zone. I have to get my action somewhere."

"I can think of another place," he turned his head and mumbled so silently I only just barely heard him. I doubted he expected me to hear it, let alone make out the words.

I raised my eyebrows. "Where at then?"

His eyes widened, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink when he realized I did in fact hear him. I wondered if he'd say, or if he'd play it off.

He bit his bottom lip and glanced back to me. His lip slid out from between his teeth and he sighed. "Don't tease me."

"I'm not teasing you," I said, trying not to smile. "I just want to know where exactly I'd get that kind of action without being at risk of being pregnant. Lord knows I need something to keep my anger in check."

I was teasing him. It was one of my favorite pastimes when he was human, and it was good to see that nothing changed. He was still easy to get a rise out of.

He mumbled something akin to "fuck it" before he fully faced me. "Me."

I blinked. Well, I wasn't expecting that.

"You?" I tilted my head.

He raised an eyebrow. "Me and Luca. Kite can go fuck himself for all I care after all this shit. But yes. Me. And Luca."

I didn't really trust Luca. He seemed closer to Kite than Noah was.

"Why'd Luca suddenly come up," I asked, snorting.

"I see the way you look at him." He shrugged. "He's a dick now, but not in a way that would ever hurt you like Kite."

I felt my cheeks burn at the implications. Regardless of how I felt about vampires, my body seemed to have a keen interest in what it could feel like to be with one.

I kept my face neutral, staring at him like I was weighing my options. If Noah had been human, I wouldn't have questioned it. I would have stripped off my clothes right then and there, and we wouldn't have made it to the bed five feet away.

If I gave in, where would that leave me? A vampire hater fucking vampires? Or a vampire hater trying to not hate everything with fangs and an odd thirst for blood?

I could use it as a means to an end. Using my body was a pretty good way to get him to trust me. But I didn't want to betray him like that. I didn't want to betray him at all.

I looked past him, at the door again, wishing it wasn't so complicated. "I'll think about it."

He nodded, as I knew he would. Noah would never push me into something I didn't want to do, or wasn't ready for. At least that hadn't changed.

"Lock your door," Noah said as he turned. "One of us will bring you food in a bit for lunch."

"Not Kite," I said as he reached the door.

He grinned, and I didn't cringe when I saw his fangs. "Not Kite. Got it."

And then he was through the door, and I clicked the lock into place.

I closed my eyes, resting my head on the wooden door, wondering once again why it had to be so freaking complicated.