ㄥ卂ㄩ千乇丫 "the fatuous clown" - pasta by VikingMetalToby

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"It's dinner timeeeeee!!!"

I heard TenderMan's voice ring through the mansion and look up from where I was on the floor just rubbing Smile Dog's belly and giving him pets. Smile's tail wagged as he glared at me excitedly. "Yeah let's go see what Tender cooked today," I smile, petting his head and leading him the the dining room.

Creepypastas were just beginning to suffocate the room with their presence so I quickly let Smile Dog run to his bowl and grab a seat near the head where Slender sits. After a while, EJ comes and sits beside me and Nina takes the other side. On the opposite side of the table are the least likely people I would want to be near; Kagekao, who likes to throw food, Former who always copies whatever shit Kagekao does, and Jeff whose the bane of my existence.

Slender eventually comes and sits at the table as the last person and Tender starts uncovering all the food.

"Why the fuck are we being fed brussel sprouts ," Strangled Red hissed, his glowing red eye baring down on the first serving. "Yeah, no thanks," BEN snapped, getting ready to leave the table but Slender made him sit back down with a tendril. "Brussel sprouts are healthy you know," Nurse Ann sighed, beginning to pull food on her plate. "That doesn't mean we have to like it..." Zero mumbled.

There was other food at the table though so everyone started taking what they wanted. EJ snagged kidneys as usual and Nina took a bunch of mashed potatoes. I took (F/F) and slowly started eating. I was ignoring the conversations going on at the table until Nina eventually turned to me, putting on a very big smile, stretching her slit scar. "Hey (Y/N), guess what? I'm sneaking out to the movies tonight...wanna come?"

"Um movies? Sure, I mean I haven't been in forever..."

"Great! We're going at 11 tonight!"

"Late much...?"

"Hey," Another voice barged in and I turn to see EJ trying to sneak into the conversation. "You guys heading out tonight? I could go hunting..."

"We're not going hunting Jackie, we're going to the movies," Nina groaned at him. "You wanna come Jack? I notice you always stay inside..." I ask. Nina shoved me in the shoulder when I extended the invite to EJ, but EJ shrugged and responded, "why not."

"Oh yay," Nina spat sarcastically, slowly turning back to her food and smacking her potatoes irritatedly with her fork. I shrug and go back to eating and minding my own business until Kagekao suddenly stood up on his chair and screamed out loud "FOOD FIGHT!!!!" and the next thing I knew, gravy was being flung at my face.

—

"Are you ready, (Y/N)?"

I jump as I'm exiting my room when I'm met face to face with Nina. Looks like Trender did his work on her cause now her slit scar is gone and her face appears normal. She's wearing a long purple hoodie that looks almost like a hoodie dress (if that's even a thing) and white and black striped stockings with converse. Basically her normal look except she looks like a normal girl.

"Oh...yeah, the movies! Heck yeah I'm ready," I respond, smiling at her. Nina grabs my arm and pulls me with her excitedly. We get downstairs and meet up with who I think is EJ but he looks humane now. He was leaned against the counter when he saw us approaching and pushed off from the counter heading to meet us. He had a skin enlightener like with other pastas when going out undercover and had on a gray hoodie with black jeans. His tar running eyes were covered with dark shades.

"Let's go," He said, motioning for us to follow him. "I'm the one who initiated the movie plan," Nina scoffed, stuffing her hands in her hoodie and following EJ. Just as we were about to walk out though, Sally runs up to us with a big smile on her face. She too for some reason was wearing normal clothing now; a fuzzy green sweater, pink skirt, and some interesting looking unicorn high tops. Of course she also had her teddy in hand as well.

"Movie time!! I wanna go! I heard you guys talking at the dinner table and I haven't been to a movie theatre in more than 30 years..." Sally said, looking up at the three of us with pleading eyes. "Aww Sally...we're gonna go see a big kid movie though..." Nina responded. "Please!! I love big kid movies. I'm a big kid too!" Sally huffed, crossing her arms with a pout. Nina glanced at me and EJ before signing and nodding her head, "Fineeeee you can come. Yur lucky you're cute!" She sighed, ruffling her head, and Sally giggled happily.

It was then the four of us together as we headed out of the mansion and out into the woods.

—

We get to the movie theatre and it's almost 11:30. There's still a good bit of people here, but not an overly crowded amount that would be expected during the day. Nina gets us the tickets and we walk inside together, looking around at the place.

I feel excited because I haven't been to the movies since way before I even became a pasta. Seeing the playful design of the carpets, the various movie posters, the countless movie rooms—it brought back fun memories!

Sally was skipping ahead and she was leading us in her own way—the ghost kiddo was heading straight for the snack area. "Chill out Sal, I didn't steal that much from Spendey..." Nina said, counting through the remaining cash she had left. "Don't worry about it Nina, I'll buy you guys. I stole quite a lot from Spender last week," EJ assured her, reaching into his pockets. "Wait, you guys have been stealing from Spender?" I ask.

EJ grabs Sally's hand so she could stop skipping away and leads her to the snack stand. "Me and (Y/n) will go grab seats, Jackie!" Nina called out to him, and EJ gave us a thumbs up before me and Nina began to head off down the halls.

We walk down the hall, searching for the room number that we had on our tickets. "Hey (Y/N)?" Nina suddenly spoke up, "wanna know something cool about the movie we're gonna watch?"

"I guess."

"Didja know the star actor of the main antagonist mirrored his character in the movie and went off slaughtering people in real life using the same methods used in the movie???"

She seemed completely excited explaining this, looking at me with a crazed looking expression. "Really? And they still keep the moving running in theaters?"

"Yes! The movie is really big...it brings in a lot of money and you know how greedy society is! So they're gonna keep milking it for all the cash they can get!" She then sighed rubbing her cheeks, "I hope it never goes out of theaters...I love the actor so much...I wanna see him in person one day...covered in blood just like me...hehehe~! We're both killers, we're perfect for each other!"

There goes daydreamy love-sick Nina again. I sigh and gently pet her head. "The movies probably got popular because this actor went and became like the actual killer on screen," I say. "Whatever or. Regardless of why it's this big, I think it's going to be here to stay for quite a while."

We eventually find the room with the movie we were gonna watch and head inside the room. Nina immediately bolts up the ramp and starts to go for the staircase. I follow behind her and notice that this theatre room is actually pretty crowded. Nina stops running and looks around when she realizes there aren't than many seats where she wanted.

"Aw man...where are we gonna sit? I wanted to sit up here..." She whined. "You're not looking hard enough Nina," I mumble, "I'm sure there's spaces for us somewhere." But even looking around myself, I can't really tell because this places looks pretty packed.

I shuffle up a few more steps and glance, but I notice something and turn. I see some person focusing on me, and they're beckoning me to come to them with one finger. I'm thinking nope and was gonna turn around but then I noticed they've got some empty seats beside them.

I grab Nina's arm and pull her towards the person, and I can see him smile at me as we got closer. He's dressed kinda weird though; he's got a black cloak on that's covering whatever he's wearing and a hood that's covering his hair and his eyes.

When we get to him, he stands and steps aside, holding out a hand so we can get to the seats. "Thanks," I thank him, as we walk in, and I take the seat next to him. Nina is being weird again, desperately trying to catch more of his face that was hidden underneath his cloak but I quickly pull her and sit her in the seat next to me.

"Ever seen this movie before?" The guy randomly asked me, sitting back down in his seat. "Nope, first time," I respond. "Yeah it's our first time," Nina butt in with a big grin on her face, "but I heard this movie is super popular nowadays and we just had to see it!"

The cloaked guy smiled and nodded his head, "Of course! I myself have seen it ...hmm...around 54 times now...? Sounds about right."

I blink, "54...? Obsessive fan much...?"

"More than you'd know," The guy smirked.

Nina giggles....as if that was even funny...but I just turn my attention to the big screen so I could just watch the movie previews.

After about ten minutes, I see Sally's figure skip into view at the entrance pulling EJ behind her who was holding onto a huge bucket of popcorn and some candies stacked on top of it. "Sally slow down!" I heard him hissing. "Up here guys!" Nina stood up and waved her hands at the two of them. Sally catches eye of us and pulls EJ towards us excitedly.

When they reach us, the guy in the cloak sitting next to me stands to let them pass again, but there was only one more seat open next to Nina. "Okay...(Y/N)'s a seat now!" Sally exclaimed, hopping into my lap, and EJ sighed going to sit in the last available seat.

"Who said I wanted you on me? Seatbelt!" I exclaim, suddenly wrapping my arms around Sally's waist like a seatbelt and she starts snickering uncontrollably, trying to pry my hands off her. I notice the guy next to me chuckle and he mutters something along the lines of "how adorable" or something like that. Sally looks at him and smiles cutely, saying "Thank you!"

Anyways, the movie was getting ready to start. EJ hands over the bucket of popcorn to me and Sally and Sally takes ahold of it and begins digging in. I keep trying to grab some for myself but Sally was kinda hogging the bucket...I started getting a bit annoyed when I saw her even beginning to hand some over to the stranger, all because this dude said she was adorable. Good grief.

I just ignore it, not like I wanted popcorn anyways, and pay attention as the movie began. The movie gave off the vibes of being a Slasher type or related, because the way it ran and the main factors were very similar. All the victims in the movie were a bunch of complete dumbasses (like me, I guess) and they made me actually want to cheer for the damn murderer. The murderer himself was some sort of giant scissor wielding killer clown named Laufey Jordy, which made me sorta snicker cause it kinda sounded like Laughing Jack to me. I honestly don't know how he didn't pull his hair out with how stupid most all his victims were. The final girl of the movie was pretty good, but I was curious as to if the movie franchise would even be continued considering the guy who played the killer became an actual psycho.

At one point during the movie, I noticed something odd; the guy sitting next to me seemed to be reciting the lines or something. I turn to look at him and he has a huge smile on his face while he's half yelling half whispering every single line that comes out of Laufey's mouth in the movies. Damn, he must really have seen this 54 times...

"Wow, you know the whole entire movie??" Sally whispered to him with wide, curious eyes. "By heart," The guy answered giving her a gentle smile. I'm starting to feel a little awkward because I notice I'm the only one really paying attention to the movie—Sally and Nina were focusing more on the cloaked guy next to us who was just reciting the lines aloud rather than the actual thing on the big screen. EJ was watching him too, but more with the expression like he wanted to get up and move far away from this guy. I mean yeah, it's strange how much his energy matched that of the killer on screen, but all I wanted to do was watch the actual thing ...

Once the movie was finally over, everyone was clapping. I liked the movie but I couldn't enjoy it to its fullest because of the annoying asshole beside me ruining everything.

"You acted out the whole movie!" Sally screeched, jumping off of my lap and looking up at the cloaked person. "Can you teach me to do that?"

"Me too?" Nina asked, stretching over me just to get closer to him. The male chuckled and pat Sally's head, "It takes lots of practice, you'd have to see it as religiously as I do."

Maybe I should find this guy afterwords and use him for practice...

I sigh and get up to start to leave like the other people in the movie room were doing, and EJ follows. Nina and Sally stay behind, continuing to pester the weird cloak guy.

—

I was ready to leave and go home but Nina was clinging to that cloaked guy like he was some big celebrity. I was pulling Sally along with me but she seemed kind of upset I took her away from the guy. "(Y/N) I'm not ready to go home, I'm having fun! Stop being a parent..." She whined, trying to make her arm go limp in my grasp. "I am not!" I glare at her in disbelief. "Yeah you aaarre!"

"Can you all hurry up," EJ muttered, growing annoyed with how slow we were walking. "I'm trying!" I snap at him, "tell it to Sally and Nina!"

"Can I just pleaseeee see your face? Just one peek before I go?" Nina begged the cloaked fellow. "Nina stop simping for strangers and let's go home," EJ growled. Nina pouted and slowly pulled away from the guy.

Finally we get to leave alrea—

"I've gotta go to the bathroom!" Sally suddenly screamed, pulling with all her might away from me. Nina saw this as an opportunity and grinned, "I'll go with you Sally! Hey Mr. Mysterious, mind just showing me and my lil sister where the restrooms are?"

The cloaked guy nods and turns to point, "Just down that hall over th—"

Nina marched to him and suddenly grabbed his arm, pulling him and Sally away with her without letting him finish. My shoulders slumped as I watched them leaving and I turn to ask EJ if we should even still wait for them but EJ was literally gone. "Really," I mutter. I decide I don't want to wait around for Nina and Sally and will let them find their way home when they're ready. I head out of the theatre in hopes to catch up with EJ.

—

I pace the front of the theatre now, waiting for Sally and Nina to come out. I initially went to follow EJ down the street not too far from the theatre, looking around to see if I could spot him, but he was long gone... I just decided to head back instead and wait for the girls. They're taking forever though...and I'm really getting bored.

I went from pacing in-front the theater to just talking a walk around the whole area. I eventually come across a back side-street and just walk past it until I notice what looks like dried up blood in small streaks on the concrete.

How did I notice such a small detail? Proxy senses.

I turn to look at the blood and see that it leads deep into the dull alleyway. "...Time to investigate and not mind my own damn business!" I exclaim, starting to willfully follow the trail of blood. The first time I did this, I found Paws the Cat. Wonder what I'm gonna find this time.

I come up to the end of the trail and am met with some sort of shiny looking object I can't really make out in the dim lights.

I slowly walk up to the shiny item until I could see it up close. My eyes widen when I take in its full image; it's a really huge pair of scissors or shears or whatever. It looks just like the weapon the killer clown in the movie we just watched was using.

Blood was smeared all over the handles and heavily coated the blades. The blood looked so real...wait, what if this thing was actually being used by someone and they had hid it here?

I reach out and carefully run my hand against the scissors, taking up some of the substance on my hand. I pull my hand back and could very well identify that the trail and the splotches were all 100% real blood...

"Like the shears, mate?"

I jump when I heard an amused sounding voice suddenly arise from behind me in one of the alleyway paths and turn to see someone leaned against the building with their arms crossed...

"Movie theatre cloak guy?" I pant out, tilting my head at the strange male who was now present. "Sure," He responded casually. He then pushed off from the wall and started walking towards me in a really weird manner; something like that of a playful jester with real jaunty looking strides as he approached me.

I started backing up and a grin forms on his face, as if he was about to burst out laughing at me. "Trying to run already? Don't you want to see the big reveal?"

Before I could respond, cloak guy suddenly rips off the garbs and tosses them aside. I blink at the person I see beneath; he's literally dressed exactly like the killer clown "Laufey" in the movie. Looks exactly like him too, in every single aspect.

He's wearing the same long off-shoulder medieval looking tunic with the white and yellow striped long sleeve undershirt. He's also got the same white and yellow pants and the blue dress shoes. Around his, waist was tied the same blue jester coat with the decorative puffy things at the ends. Lastly, his hair was blond and fashioned in the same strange way as the killer clown, and he even had the same stitched up missing eye, the tattoos on his chest, nose, beneath his good eye, and finally, the same clear glass monocle.

"Wow...you really are an obsessive fan..." I slightly chuckle as I take in his features. "Just careful, heh. You don't wanna end up like the actor who copied Laufey, right?"

The male who looked like Laufey blinked at me and then scratched his cheek with a smirk, "Think, (Y/N). There's a pair of giant bloody sears sitting right here, in the middle of this alleyway with a trail of blood streaking behind it. Then there's I, uncannily similar to the same clown you saw on the big screen standing right here by these shears..."

He suddenly reached and took the shears that were leaned against the wall, snipping them closed then open again. "You've heard...the actor behind "Laufey" is just a big criminal now...he goes around "mimicking' his on screen character, doesn't he...? Heh heh...who the hell do you think I am~?"

I remain quiet for a bit before responding jokingly, "Are you the actor behind the final girl by any chance?"

I kind of figured at this point that this was the real Laufey, but of course it's just another day of me being slow. Laufey scoffed at my joke response and raised his scissors, "How charming..." then he suddenly darted at me with the blades of the shears opened.

I react by jumping back as fast as I could to avoid the initial attack, but I had immediately forgotten in the moment that this is a small enclosed alleyway, so I slam backwards into a wall without thinking and the next thing I know, the scissors are clamped around my neck and I'm pinned against the wall, staring dumbly at the grinning actor.