"Are you still thinking about him?" Li Zhao's voice startled the daydreaming Xu Ling Ai.

It's been a month since Chanyu left the capital and she never heard anything from him again. She never thought that their friendship will end.

"I was just thinking that our life has always been going up and down. It feels rather sentimental when I think about everything that we went through." Xu Ling Ai stare at the bright cloudy sky.

Standing in front of the window, she feels like living in the ancient era is indeed hard. Living in ancient era, made her somehow more matured.

Looking at her back, Li Zhao went over and wrapped his hands around her waist firmly. He knew she is still feeling sorrow about everything that happen within the very short time.

"Sometimes I wonder if I did the right decision coming to the capital..." She muttered.

Little did he know that a cold tear trickle down her smooth cheek. Her eyes turn red. Her lips tremble trying to hold the sobs.

"If you hadn't come to the capital, I wouldn't be who I am right now. Right now I am the most happiest man in the world. You have no idea how much you mean to me." Listening him saying that makes her eyes get even more teary.

"But I couldn't cure you. I feel very useless." After countless of trying, she still failed to develop the antidotes.

"Don't blame yourself. You did your best to help me and I am very grateful for it. Don't worry much. Wu Xi is close on finding the Ten thousand years fox blood. I will be fine." Li Zhao faltly lied. He has already give up on finding the antidotes long time ago which only a tale.

Hearing his lies which is trying to ease her heart made her feel sorrow. She knows that he can't be cure. But she pretend not to know.

Silent fell upon them as Xu Ling Ai try to keep herself from crying harder. She try to sniffled quietly, but an involuntary whimper escaped her lips.

"When will you tell me that you're dying?" Her question made Li Zhao freeze. At the same time her tiny tears drop on his hands which is around her waists.

He turn her around just to find that tears had stain her face that always carry a smug smile. Hearing her gut-wrenching sobs tore through his chest.

"I-I..." Li Zhao stuttered when facing his crying Consort. He is totally tongue tied hearing that question.

"Are you abandoning me alone?" She is totally helpless.

Without replying to her, he pull her into his embrace.

'Don't cry. Please.." Li Zhao wipe her tears. He hug her tightly as if he is holding his whole world.

Dying was never the situation that he is afraid of. However, leaving her is the most scariest moment he is scared of. He wonder how will she live alone.

Even though he knew that she is strong enough to survive in this cruel world. But he is still worry about her.

"I really wish that you will always be happy even without me by your side. You will always be my Princess." His eyes turn bloodshot.

"I am so sorry for not telling you. I don't know how to tell you. I'm so sorry." Li Zhao try to persuade Xu Ling Ai.

Hearing his voice cracked made Xu Ling Ai cry even harder. This is the first time she break down so badly ever since she came into the ancient world.

Her head hurts. She couldn't think straight. Her heart feels like something is tearing it apart. She feel helpless.

"H-how am I going to live without you?" Xu Ling Ai stare at Li Zhao with teary eyes.

She really wish that this is all a dream. So Li Zhao don't need to went through such a cruel fate. She wish that they had met in the 21st century. This wouldn't have happened.

'God. Are you still not done playing with my fate?' Xu Ling Ai thought with a heavy heart. She is mad that she couldn't do anything. She is mad that she couldn't change neither his or her destiny.

"No matter what happen. You must live on. You're a fighter. Promise me you will do so." Li Zhao stare straight into her eyes demanding a promise.

'I will never be the same Xu Ling Ai again. You knew that.' She spoke in her mind but nodded at him in response.

"You also need to promise me something." Xu Ling Ai said.

"What is it?" Li Zhao response.

"Please tell me if you're in pain or when you feel vulnerable. Don't hide it. I want to be there for you whenever you need someone." Xu Ling Ai earnestly request him.

Li Zhao is hesitant as he do not wish for her to see his worst state. But when he look at her teary eyes. He couldn't help but promise her.

The Next Morning

Xu Ling Ai has been spending time cooking for Li Zhao. She realised that she has never cook any meal for him.

She decided to make some cake. Because of her bad skills, she decided to ask for help from the manor's head cook to monitor her. After the cake is done, she took one and taste it.

"This so good! I hope he will like it." She exclaimed and thanked the head cook for guiding her.

"His Highness will be very happy for sure." The chef convinced her with a smile.

Only the closest family and servants knew about Li Zhao's real condition. All of the servant in the manor knew that these days Xu Ling Ai is pretending to be fine.

There is no genuine smile in her eyes anymore. She is no longer the old Xu Ling Ai who is very cheerful. They are also sad that the prince that they have been serving is suffering in silence.

Placing some cakes on a small plate, she head to Li Zhao's pavilion. She saw there is no guard so she intended to just knock the door. However, when she is about to do it, she heard someone groaning in pain.

Her hands tremble as she knew who it was. She peek through the small hole and she saw him fell on the ground. Her eyes instantly welled up with tears. Her hands grip tightly on the small plate as she is afraid she might slipped it off.

His hands on tightening on his chest. His veins popped out due to the unbearable pain with sweats drip on his forehead. His visions slowly began to blurred but he refused to give up.

Li Zhao could have just scream and everyone would run to him but he don't want to make anyone worry. Little did he know she saw him.

Xu Ling Ai cover her own sobs with her own hands while her tears stream freely. She wanted to rush in and help him but she knows he don't want to see him in that state. She is willing to sacrifice herself from him if she could. She hate herself for being useless.

"I'm sorry.." She muttered while crying.

She saw Li Zhao try to stand up and Xu Ling Ai slipped to the ground trying to remain hidden. Biting her own lips to hold herself from whimpering. Her lips tremble trying to stop crying. Her eyes is swollen but tears doesn't seem to stop.

A sound of blood splatters made her wanting to rush over. She saw Li Zhao is coughing blood and she get up to help him but a grip on her arms prevent her from doing so.

She look back only to find Wu Xi staring at her with reddish eyes. Wu Xi heavily shakes his head to prevent Xu Ling Ai from going inside. He is begging with his eyes.

"His highness do not wish you to see him like this. Please pretend you never saw." Looking at Wu Xi's eyes who is holding back his tears, she cry even harder.

She has always thought that she is the only one who is afraid of losing Li Zhao. But she forgot that Li Zhao's subordinate is also losing their master and a brother.

"Please.." That one word from Wu Xi made her realize that she couldn't anything other than pretending to be fine. So that Li Zhao don't need to worry about her anymore.

She wish that this is all a dream. She wish that Li Zhao will always be happy and free of any harm. She wish that they had met in 21st century. Things probably won't be like this?

P.S.

I am so sorry for being inactive but here's an update.

- R

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