Striding straight into her chamber with a heavy clouded mind, Xu Ling Ai change her clothes into the modern nightie robe that she had sew before preparing to sleep.

Laying down on her side carefully and not putting any pressure on her back. She grab a pillow and hug it close.

Staring at the plain wall for god knows how long, unknowingly a tears slipped off her eyes. That strong and determined eyes had finally shed a tears. The dam that she had been holding for a long time finally broke down.

She cried for what happen, she cried for not being able to protect and to fight for herself, she cried for putting her friend in danger. Most importantly, she cried because Li Zhao is not there when she needed him the most.

Could only wish that he will be alright, but none of it ease her heart and mind. Xu Ling Ai is afraid he might not come back to her. That he might go back to his old cold-self.

"Come back. I need you." That was her last thoughts before she forced herself to drifted off to sleep accompanied by gloominess.

Duke Su manor were literally in utter silence. No one dare to make any noise even the smallest one. They can feel the solemn moment when Xu Ling Ai step into her chamber and never come out.

Time seems to be moving so slow, midnight finally came by. The one and only occupied chamber with some light inside it had no movement at all except Xu Ling Ai's small breathing can be heard.

Suddenly, a squeak sound of the door finally make a noise. It was him. He finally had the courage to see her. But Li Zhao did not proceed to approach her instead he look at her for a minute.

Her curling up state hugging the pillow might look cute but in this situation, he saw nothing but the pain he had caused her.

His eyes fell on her nightie shirt that had accidentally slid off her waist and clearly shows the mark that he had made on her earlier.

He will gladly accept any punishments that she decided on him. But the only thing he is afraid is she might want to leave him.

His eyes turn reddish as he notice the dry tears stained her pale cheek. However, this time it wasn't the anger red eyes he always had, rather it was a red eyes where one wanted to shed tears.

He realized that he do not deserve her and never will. A beast will never become a human like in the fairytale.

Possessing her as his will only caused her pain but letting her go would mean he is killing himself indirectly. He knew he will never be the same without her.

Immersed in assessing the bruise that he didn't notice that she had already woken up.

Xu Ling Ai's eyes welled up with emotional tears again. His eyes which filled with guilt and remorse make her feel nothing but pain. The cold and stoic face clearly blamed himself for everything.

"Are you okay?" She asked while fixing her shirt to cover her waist.

Li Zhao avert his eyes looking at hers with a dead serious gaze.

"I should be the one who asked you. I hurt you." He muttered with eyes getting redder. He couldn't even remember when was the last time he cried.

"You didn't mean it. You're just trying to protect me." Xu Ling Ai sit up trying to reach him. She felt a pang of sadness as he expressed his regrets. She knew he will never hurt her intentionally.

Looking at his unmoved statue, she try to convince him. While cupping his face, she said. "Look I'm fine. It will heal in no time."

"My strength is way above a normal human, yet I used on you. Li Jun Yi was right. I am a monster. I could never be gentle and normal. I don't deserve you.." His voice were slightly hoarse the whole time he is speaking. Sometimes, it was as if he is choking through his words.

Xu Ling Ai feel so sorry for him that no one was there for him. To tell him that there are things that human couldn't control. No one was there to comfort him and tell him that he never chose to be different.

"No! You were completely wrong! You're the most caring and selfless person I've ever met ever since I came here. You're not a monster. Don't listen to others. They don't know the real you. The real Li Zhao. But I know you. So please stop belittling yourself and embrace yourself." Xu Ling Ai was literally begging him to stop hurting himself because of others.

"Please don't cry. I don't deserve your tears. I know you might want to leave me but I am here shamelessly begging you to stay. I am willing to bear any punishment. Don't leave me. I might die the moment you left me alone. You've become my whole world and for once I wanted to be selfish. Just to have you by my side." Li Zhao get on his knees begging for forgiveness. No one will believe that the most terrifying Second Prince is currently on his knees for a woman.

His speech left Xu Ling Ai with a gaped mouth. She couldn't believe that he is very sincere. Never did she thought that she will find a man in ancient era with such a pure heart who will love her with his whole heart.

Giggling slightly, she said. "Stupid! Why would I leave you? You're stuck with me forever whether you like it or not. And about the punishment, I will think about it later. Now let's sleep, it is already in the middle of the night."

Xu Ling Ai pat her bed telling him to come sleep by her side. Li Zhao stare at her face for quite some times like she is just kidding.

"Just sleep okay. Only sleep." She quickly address her intention. Laying down with her back facing him, trying to hide her red face.

When a hand suddenly went on her waist, she was so startled that she turn around and slap that hand away.

"What are you doing?!"

"I-I just wanted to put some ointment on the bruise." Li Zhao unexpectedly stuttered as he also feel somehow shy by his action.

"No need. Just get some sleep." Xu Ling Ai pushed him forcefully lay down by her side.

"Don't move." Li Zhao sternly instructed as he continued to put the ointment.

Closing her eyes tightly as she feel awkward by the situation. This is the first time they slept together ever since they get married and he is applying something on her.

Once he is done, Li Zhao took off his masks and place his head comfortably on the small pillow. He isn't planning to sleep instead he wants to watch her sleeping state.

"Xu Ling Ai." He suddenly muttered.

She only hummed at him as a response as she is feeling very sleepy.

"I've killed thousands of people. I am a monster. Will you still stay by my side?" Li Zhao hesitantly asked.

"It is the only way to protect your own country right? Then there is nothing wrong with it. You're protecting the innocent people in this country so what you did is your job as a general. Would you rather sit quietly as a prince? I know you wouldn't." Xu Ling Ai said with her eyes close.

"What if I had killed people who is innocent?" This sentence made her feel anxious.

A moment of silence ate up as she didn't know how to answer him.

"Will you stay despite knowing that I've shed blood belong to innocent people?" He question her again.

This time she open her eyes and turn to stare straight into his soul. Xu Ling Ai know he is telling the truth. And she find it hard to swallow everything.

"Just let it go. You didn't choose to do it. I know you regret it so much that you live with guilt eating you up for your whole life. It's time to let go. You've torture yourself enough. I know you did everything to ask for forgiveness from the families." It was very hard for her to talk through sobbing.

Xu Ling Ai know the story from Li Zhi Ming. He told her everything about how Li Zhao had killed innocent people before and until no one know why he did it. But one thing for sure is, Xu Ling Ai know the reason.

She knew he is going to open up to her but not this soon. She is quite taken aback by his sudden confession about his past.

"You knew?" Li Zhao asked dumbfounded. A tear finally slipped the cold eyes. His eyes were filled with hatred towards himself.

Xu Ling Ai wiped his tears. She hate seeing that miserable eyes. But she is happy that he is finally opening up to her.

"How could you endure so much pain without breaking down? I always thought that god is being unfair towards me but now I feel like god is being so generous on me. How could god give you so much pain?! I am so sorry that no one was by your side when you're in agony. I am so sorry that a mother figure that you saw as your own mom poisoned you. I might not be able to accompany you in the past, but now I will. I promise." Ignoring his question, she broke down again. She cried so bad that her eyes swollen.

"Y-you know I am a poisoned vampire? Since w-" Li Zhao's words were cut off by her sudden action.

Xu Ling Ai closed her teary eyes and peck him on the lips to stop him from saying anything.

"Nothing matter to me. What matters is that you're you." She said with a small smile convincing him that everything will fine from now on.

"You have no idea how grateful I am to have you as mine. I thought I will stay alone on this lonely world for my whole life until you came. My ray of sunshine. You accept me despite me having thousands of flaws. Thank you so much for filling my dark life with your laughter. I am someone who is not good with words. But I swear you're my everything in this lifetime. This lifetime, I wanted nothing but you. Only you. Everyday I pray to god to met you again in the next lifetime. I am nothing without you. You have no idea how much I adore you my consort." Li Zhao ended his words with a smile. He give a small peck on her forehead and she smile back at him.

They spent the night talking and open up to each other like a normal couple does.

It has been awhile. How are y'all doing?

I'm so sorry for the long break I took. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

I wrote it in hurry so pls ignore the misspelled and other mistakes.

💖