"What?" I say in a hushed whisper.

"I accept you as my mate." Ashton's eyes light up with happiness and he hugs me to his chest. My arms are crushed to his chest so I can't hug him back but he doesn't seem to mind.

"Ashton," I try to say squished against his chest, "what's a mate? What does that mean?"

He tenses up and let's me go. I lean back and see that he is suddenly nervous, maybe even scared. Ashton's eyes dart around, always avoiding mine. He makes eye contact with something behind me and winces. I turn around and see Josh's stern, almost angry, expression as he looks at Ashton, then softens as he makes eye contact with me.

"What," I ask in the sudden silence, "am I missing something? What's a mate? You mentioned it before but didn't explain." Silence engulfs us again and my questions go unanswered. Before I can say anything more, Josh speaks up.

"Go on. Tell her." Josh's accusation cuts through the silence. I gape at him. I've never heard Josh sound like this, except for maybe a couple times close to this, but nothing to this extent.

"Tell me what," I turn towards Ashton and now I can clearly see he's scared of something, "Ashton?"

"Mate is short for soulmate," Ashton starts but his voice wavers, "as werewolves we're given a soulmate. Someone who is destined to be with us forever, in this lifetime at least. These soulmates are destined for each other and they more than likely will find each other in their lifetimes. They're everything a werewolf prizes, the one person they put in front of everyone and everything-" Ashton cuts himself off at the hitch in his voice. My heart pounds in my ears and sense of foreboding and apprehension washes through me. Something is wrong, something is very, very wrong.

My brain tries to connect something but I push it away, not wanting to admit it. I don't want to think, I don't want to realize, I don't want to admit something is wrong. But the sense of wrongness fills the air, too big no ignore, and suddenly my mind is full of memories.

"The first time we met." My voice trails off as I remember the word Ashton's very first words to me on my first day. My mind lingers on the word 'mate' now understanding what he meant.

"Evie-" Ashton reaches for me as I get off his lap and take a step away from him.

"Reject. You said reject." My voice is a harsh whisper.

Ashton winces and tries to reach out to me but I take another step back, "You said reject." I repeat.

"I know." Ashton whispers.

"And then you said mate." The harsh whisper hasn't left my voice.

"Ashton, explain to your mate." Josh emphasizes 'mate' and this time it's my turn to wince. Ashton notices my wince and shoots a glare at Josh but is unable to hold it for long.

He looks back at me, "Evie-" I cut him off.

"Just explain. I want to know everything." My voice turned hard.

"It means nothing now-" Ashton starts but I cut him off again.

"Oh really?" My voice catches and I feel the burn of tears behind my eyes. Ashton must notice the almost tears because he stands and tries to reach for me again. I step out of his reach again and his arms drop. He looks defeated and I resist going to him.

"Tell her Ashton." Josh says from behind me.

"Tell me what?" I ask him, knowing there's more.

"I didn't want a mate," Ashton says abruptly after a minute of silence, "I didn't want a mate." He repeats quietly.

Confusion clouds my brain along with a deep sadness, "Why not?" I try to keep my voice soft and not accusing.

Ashton slumps back down on the couch and puts his head in his hands, "I didn't want the responsibility of having someone to look after. I didn't want the urge to protect someone, something that would've come with a mate. I didn't want the chance of losing someone who meant everything to me, and that would've come with a mate. What better way to do that than to not have a mate." Ashton ends on a sarcastic note, but I can hear the regret.

I'm stunned into silence as my brain tries to connect all the missing pieces. Ashton starts talking again before I can respond.

"When I saw you, because you see it's a visual thing, it's the eyes. You immediately know who your mate is when you look into their eyes. I knew who you were the moment we first made eye contact. I couldn't believe it. I had spent years worrying about finding you and you just run into me," Ashton gives a short laugh, but there's nothing humorous about it, "shocked is an understatement. I was so sure I was going to get through high school without finding my mate, so sure."

I don't say anything as Ashton's side of the story comes out. His head is still in his hands as he takes a deep breath.

"I did the only thing I thought was logical. I wanted to push you away, wanted to keep the mate pull from growing too strong," I open my mouth to ask about the mate pull but Ashton beats me to it, "the mate pull is the pull between mates. It affects both and drives them closer together. You probably had the feeling before. The feeling of wanting to be close. I wanted to stop the pull from developing. So I pushed you away."

I still don't day anything as Ashton's story comes out, but the feeling in my stomach hasn't left. The feeling that something is very wrong. Tears burn behind my eyes.

"The first step was rejection, but it was never complete," Ashton suddenly looks up at me, "in order for rejection, or accepting, to work both mates have to say it. Otherwise it's not complete." He ends on a whisper.

Silence descends as I watch Ashton grapple with something in his mind. I know there's more, but I'm scared to know what it is. There's something big missing.

Josh breaks the silence again, "Tell her the rest Ashton." His voice is quiet and cautious.

"I thought that by pushing you away, by making you dislike me, it would weaken the bond. I rejected you and you disliked me, maybe that would've stopped the bond from forming. It didn't work." Ashton explains.

By now I feel tears falling down my cheeks, "So you thought by bullying me, it would break the bond." It wasn't a question. Ashton's expression is tortured as he watches the tears, but not as tortured as I feel.

"The rest, Ashton." Josh's voice turned hard.

Ashton looks at Josh, "Later, Josh. One thing at a time." There isn't any conviction in his voice.

Josh suddenly storms in front of me, "You tell her everything! Right now," he shouts at Ashton, "or I will." Ashton winces but nods. He stands up and takes a couple steps toward me but I hold up a hand and stop him from advancing.

"Don't," Ashton winces at my command, "what else is there?"

He takes a shaky breath and I see the glint of unshed tears, "I slept with other girls, after we met."

This time it's my turn to wince, "A lot of couples cheat." Despite saying that, my heart hurts. Not only that, but a shadow of hurt travels to my abdomen and I'm reminded of the burning pain that plagued me for nights. My arms automatically go around my midriff as if I subconsciously know the fire is going to return. Ashton notices my arms and winces and it's suddenly clear.

"What happened when you cheated? What happened to me?" My voice cracks as my vision blurs and tears continue to fall.

"Please don't cry." Ashton's voice cracks and, when my vision somewhat clears, I see him reaching out to me but he doesn't touch me.

"Tell me."

"You felt it," he whispers, "because I had rejected you, and you hadn't completed it, the bond had forced you to feel it."

I cried out as I remembered the torturing fire that almost killed me. That was every time he had wanted to push me away with sex. Every night I had wanted to scream, he was making someone else scream.

"Did you know?" Somehow the words were comprehensible.

"Yes." Ashton whispers. I stumbled back a couple of steps and before I could fall, Ashton's arms wrap around me in an embrace.

"Get off me!" I scream, a sort of hysteria taking over my voice. Tears stream down my face and sobs hiccup out of my mouth. Ashton listens to my command and takes a step back, his breath hitching in his throat. Josh comes and takes his place, but I push him away too.

"Did you know what was happening," I turn on Josh. He looks down in shame and I have my answer, "how could you?"

"Evie," Ashton pleads, "I need you-"

"Do you know what you were doing to me," I interrupt him harshly, "do you know how many nights I was in fiery pain. How many nights I wanted to scream out but I couldn't because I didn't know what was going on with me. Do you know that I was hospitalized and had to lie to my parents over and over." My voice was clearing up despite no stop in the flow of tears.

They didn't say anything and for a couple of seconds and the only sound was my heavy breathing. An idea forms in my head and I can't help but give a sad laugh at the irony of it.

"Damn you Ashton." I say quietly but loud enough for both of them to hear me clearly.

Ashton winces and I still see the glint of unshed tears, "Please Evie," he begs, "tell me you don't mean that."

"I would be lying," My heart cries out but I steel it, "you deserve much worse." Ashton only nods.

I continue, "So that's why I'm getting out."

Ashton tenses and his mind must have connected what I'm about to say because he steps toward me and reaches out, "No. Evie, please don't."

"I, Evangeline Cross, reject you as my mate."

I turn around and walk out of Ashton's life.