Standing in Khan Bojing's study, Li Wei blushed helplessly. After such a long time, she was reminded once again how it felt to be shy. Her gaze was unsteady, bouncing all over the place until his journal caught her attention.

Li Wei sat in his seat and held the book between her fingers. Slowly, she turned the pages. From the beginning, each page was filled with one name.

Her name.

Li Wei. Li Wei. Li Wei. She smiled with the thought that Khan Bojing, who looked to be such an upright scholar, had been writing nothing but her name in his book.

Her name took up all the space available except for one. On the last page, he wrote something else.

My wife.

She shouldn't have been cold. That night, he had been thinking of no on else but her. Li Wei hugged the book tightly as if it was Khan Bojing himself. Later when he returned, she should try hugging him like this.

"Daddy--" Khan Bohai stopped in his tracks. He rubbed his eyes and opened them again. "Imperial Mother?"

Li Wei hurriedly placed the book back. "Disappointed?"

"N-no." Was it truly his mother who stood before him?

She laughed at his wide eyed expression.

"Now I know," He suddenly said.

"What do you know?"

"I know why daddy likes you."

Li Wei leaned down. "Why?"

"Smile so pretty."

She pinched his chubby cheeks. "How sweet you are, just like your father."

Khan Bohai froze. Mommy was playing with him...He got it now. A smile blossomed on his face.

Li Wei's heart softened further. "Are you looking for your father?"

"I want to eat with daddy."

"You're hungry?"

Khan Bohai touched his tummy that had fallen flat. "En, hungry."

In the dining hall, the mother and son ate quietly. Although Khan Bohai was hungry, he still ate neatly and slowly chewed each bite. While he was busy eating, Li Wei watched his chubby cheeks moved up and down adorably.

"Can I eat that soup too?" Khan Bohai pointed to the untouched bowl.

Her eyes flickered in alarm. "It's not for kids."

"Oh." He politely nodded.

She moved the bowl to a higher place on the wall shelf. "After eating, go back to your studies."

"Yes, Imperial Mother. I'll come find you tomorrow!" Khan Bohai washed his hands when he finished his meal and then ran out where Ye Mo stood waiting.

Tomorrow, he'd come again for a meal. There would be his daddy, mommy, and him.

Like a family.

---

In the afternoon, Li Wei pulled out her embroidery basket. There was a particular embroidery piece she finished in the winter. On the white fabric, there was a field of colorful flowers. Seated by the window, she carefully added something else.

When Khan Bojing entered the garden, she stood at the doorway quietly waiting. His captivating smile upon seeing her made her heart skipped a beat. Li Wei held back a smile when he rushed over as if that little space between them too far for him.

"You haven't gone back yet?" He asked.

"I-I was waiting for you." She looked down. Facing him in the daytime was harder than at nighttime.

Khan Bojing never imagined to hear such words from her. He greedily pulled her to his chest. "Are you feeling alright?"

Li Wei shuffled her feet and could only nod.

"Good, let's go."

"Again?" She couldn't help asking.

He tapped her forehead. "What's been floating in that mind of yours? I'm not that merciless."

Gosh, what was going on with her today. Her face became hot again.

Li Wei hid her burning face behind his large figure. Khan Bojing took her hand and brought her to one of her favorite places in the palace, the tallest building. On the rooftop, the scenery was mesmerizing. Every building, every plant, every little detail was covered in the sun's golden glow.

"How did you know I like to be here?" She asked.

"Want to know something else? Xiao Wei, you are a little sneaky fox. You came to see me on my return but still acted so distant." He tickled her nose, "You can't lie anymore. You missed me, didn't you?"

Only the heavens and her would know. She missed him. Li Wei tightened her lips together, refusing to admit or deny it.

The corner of Khan Bojing's lip curved up slightly. Alright, stay stubborn. "By the way, I saw that box of letters you never sent to me. Ah, such sweetness hides within your cold and hard shell--"

Was this what he was busy with all day today? San'er, you traitor! Li Wei clasped her hand over his mouth. He did not just called her sweet. She was not sweet.

"Did you read it...?" She demanded.

Khan Bojing shook his head. "I'll read it when you're ready to show me."

"How can you be so sure?"

He removed her hand and held it instead. "Xiao Wei, it's because I trust you. We started in terrible circumstances, but we're still here today. It's been five years and you haven't run away from me. Is there a chance you'll stay for a lifetime?"

"I..." Be with him for a lifetime? Li Wei never considered it to be a possibility before.

He intertwined their fingers. "You don't have to tell me now. Just think about it."

"Yebai."

"Hmm?"

"There was always an ocean in my mind I couldn't cross to get to you. And so, I stepped back in fear and concluded we could never be. The idea of you and me, together forever, was so farfetched I it didn't cross my mind. Things have changed and if you're willing to wait just a bit more, I think I can do it."

He squeezed her hand encouragingly.

She returned his touch. "From now on, stay where you are and let me come to you."

"I'll be waiting," He told her.

Li Wei snuggled closer when the wind blew. "Do you want to know something?"

"I do." He moved her inside the cover of his warm cloak.

"Yebai, you shine brightest where the eye can't see."

His lips grazed her lips teasingly. "Are you willing to use your heart then?"

A blush came onto her face. The third time in one day. "I-I'll tell you on my birthday."

"You don't have an exact birthday."

"Grandma Sun celebrated my birthdays in the late summers. Wait just a bit more."

Khan Bojing laughed joyfully. He had all the patience in the world. "You're not allowed to forget."

"I won't." Li Wei kissed him firmly. "I sealed it with my kiss."

"I couldn't feel it."

"... Shameless."

Despite her comment, she still granted him another kiss.

"How about I read one letter?" He suggested naughtily.

Li Wei shook her head, not convinced. "No!"

"One per day until your birthday."

"Khan Bojing, you dare? Look how bold you've gotten!" Her hands tightened on his collar.

He only smiled and took the chance to hug her. "Alright, alright, I take it back. I'll be counting the days until you come to me. Don't forget I'll be waiting for you, my wife."

---

That day, the two people made a promise.

On her birthday, she would tell him those words he so patiently waited for and showed him the letters she secretly wrote. Once she accepted herself, she would walk to him and enjoy the rest of her life with him.

Over and over, he chose her hoping one day, she would choose him back. After years of denial, she finally allowed herself to surrender to the purity of his heart. Li Wei had chosen him. Like he said, there would be no such things as who was better than who.

He may not have loved her from the beginning, but she didn't either. They weren't each other's first loves, but they would be each other's last. What mattered most was that they chose to be together.

There was so much to tell him. Yes, she would think of him every night before going to sleep. Yes, she could stay with him. Even forever.

Anything he wanted to know, she would answer. Anything he asked for, she would agree. She would spoil and pamper him as he did to her.

It's just, when the time came, Li Wei couldn't speak a word. Khan Bojing didn't get to hear her answers. The gift that he prepared, the one that was better than gold and could fill the sky, she didn't get to find out what it was.

They never received what the other wanted to give.

Their love that withered for so long, a flower in winter waiting to bloom upon spring, was cruelly taken away before it could blossom beautifully.

The day they dreamt of and waited for never arrived.