"Will you have sherbet?" Ruqqayah asked pouring one for herself as they sat on one of the divans. They had been travelling for weeks now, with no sign of Jodha. Ruqqayah barely ate and when she did, it would be a spoonful. Sherbet, she drank. It was the only thing that kept her from going insane during this scorching heat.

It was the festive month of Navratra going on, and all around the country people were celebrating, singing songs and praising their god, praying. What would Jodha be doing had things been all okay? She was a pure devotee of Durga Mata, and Jalal knew this. She would go every week to pray in the Kali Mandir near the fort.

If she would have been here, he would surely visit the mandir with her and celebrate every day and night as she wanted. He sighed, alas it was but a dream. He had not eaten properly in days. He would not even take the sherbet. He nodded a no and Ruqqayah sat beside him, drinking it in one go. When she placed the goblet beside her, and let out a sigh, he looked at her. She had strained herself way too much. It was his punishment, but she was bearing it along with him. He placed a hand on her shoulder and she looked at him.

"What is it, Jalal?"

"Don't punish yourself Ruqqayah. It is my doing and my repentance."

"Jalal, I am always with you, in all your sorrows and happiness."

"I know. And I respect you for it but understand. It is my doing; I don't want to drag you along in it."

"Jalal......"

"No more arguments. You will be going back to Agra at once." They had been at Vrindavan for too long now. He had first come here since she was a devotee of Lord Krishna, but not being able to find her here even after days, he decided to travel to Mathura tonight. But nonetheless, he would not travel with Ruqqayah. She was a Mughal Begum, and he couldn't tolerate her getting hurt and tired all the time. The conditions weren't as good here as in the fort. He was used to it all, having to travel every now and then for wars, marriages and other things. But she, she wasn't.

"I will respect each and every decision of yours until the day I die, but please promise me you will find Jodha."

"I will."

"And take care of yourself." He smiled and nodded. Relief spread through her features. She smiled too, a smile he had missed.

After sending Ruqqayah back to Agra, Jalal set out for Mathura. He didn't get much rest but decided to go out anyway. Without Jodha here, with him, he was dying every day. In what condition she might be and where? And the worst fear of all, was she alive? He had been dreaded with such thoughts. He could do nothing but wait. As the royal entourage entered the blistering city of Mathura, Jalal's heartbeat calmed down. He thought of it as a good omen, one that would make him meet Jodha soon.

"Shehenshah!" he heard a faint voice. Was she Jodha? He turned around to see a young girl. Her body was perfectly carved, her face hidden behind a veil. Had he seen her somewhere before? She looked too familiar.

"Who are you?" he asked. She performed the taslim and then head up, parted her lips to answer.

"I am commoner. I heard Shehenshah was visiting our town, so I ran to meet you!"

"What is your name?"

"Aaliyah, Your Majesty!"

"You look pleasant enough."

"Will that make His Majesty bless me with the honour of becoming his kaniz?"

Sure, she might have been of low birth, but she was very smart and well-spoken. He was mesmerised for a moment. But he came back to his senses almost immediately. What was he doing? He had come out in search of Jodha! He smiled as another manoeuvring thought came to his mind. He smiled and nodded. One of his guards asked the girl to accompany him. She had impressed the Badshah and she was to be rewarded.

~

The heat was scorching, almost making her skin come apart as she somehow walked towards a community. She had not had proper food in days. She had been travelling mostly, with two sets of clothes that she had taken with her. No jewellery, no money, but she carried her Kanha's moorti with her. He would give her solace for sure. Her heart clenched when she recalled the memories. She had asked for a temple to be built within her palace in the fort and the emperor had agreed.

She had looked into his eyes, that time. He was well built and his eyes smiled as they met hers. She found him attractive, so a part of her was happily marrying him. At least her husband had sharp features. Shallow, too shallow, she knew, but it was not that she had many options at choosing a husband.

"All your wishes will be fulfilled, Princess. You are soon to be Mughal Begum, and respecting your pride and honour is a part of my duty as a husband." She had had an instant liking for him that day.

"Would you like some water?" her chain of thoughts was broken by an old woman, who stood before her.

"Ji." She nodded and accepted the kind gesture.

"You don't look from the plains beti. Where are you from?" the woman asked, sitting beside her.

"I am from..." she hesitated, but nonetheless spoke the truth. What good would it do to her from lying? Besides, who would know she is Jodha. "I am from Rajputana."

"Rajputana?" the old lady was bemused. "That reminds me of the old days."

"You are from Rajputana?"

"No!" the woman smiled at Jodha. "I loved a boy once when we were young. He was a prince of Rajputana."

Jodha's eyes widened. Which prince? If the lady is so old, he would perhaps now be king. But who?

"Then?" she asked, her interest piqued.

"He offered me to be a concubine in his zenana because I was of low birth and he couldn't stain his reputation by marrying me." Jodha's heart clenched. How could he do so? What was more important than love?

"I said no. Of course, I might not have royal blood in me, but I had my pride!"

What a waste! They could have been so happy.

"Is that the end?"

"The end? You see beti, I am alive and so is he, so there is no definite end to this."

"So..."

"I will stop you there. You look tired. You must have travelled a lot. Would you like to rest for a while?"

"Sure Maaji." Jodha took out her gold earrings to pay her but she refused.

"It is an ashram beti. We get funds here to treat the poor and wanderers. Keep your money for it may help you some other time. Come inside." Jodha smiled at the hospitality. She nodded and walked along with the woman.

Days and nights were distress for Jalal. Jodha remembered him in every prayer of hers, still, because she loved him and love is not so menial to be washed away so easily. His heart thumped for her every day. Only now, when the empress was away, did the emperor realise his love for her. He had never known what this feeling was all his life.

He was born at camp when his father was fleeing away from Sher Shah Sur. His parents had fled right after his birth, leaving him in the care of Maham Anga and Jiji Anga, his wet nurses. Born around and brought up with them, he had not seen palace comfort and luxuries until the Mughals won Hindustan once again from Hemu and Jalal was crowned the Padshah. Even after that, life was never a cakewalk for him. Having had the burden of responsibilities at a young age, the Padshah never really enjoyed his childhood. His childhood was a mere memory of the hurtful past he wanted to forget.

From being abandoned by his parents, to Maham Anga scrutinizing every move of his for her own son's betterment, he had little faith in people. So, love was out of the question. Even his wives, and other women of the harem, never really cared for him. It was just the fact that he bore the crown and sat on the throne, for which they tried several ways to impress him; such that he might be impressed and increase their income or grant them something materialistic. No one, not even Ruqqayah loved him for who he was. She respected him as an emperor and as a husband, loved him as a friend, but not as a man. He had known this since he had married her.

She was always by his side, making his problems seem less of a burden, but she was never there as a wife. An invisible line had separated them ever since it was known she could not conceive again. They respected each other nonetheless. What was Ruqqayah to do? She tried, tried to love him, but she could not. Perhaps it was her duty in this life to be a begum; in the next, she might as well get her soulmate.

Jodha had opened another chapter in his life he never knew existed. Even this miscarriage did not separate them but brought them closer. He realised her value in his life, only after she left.

~

"Your Majesties!" The guard huffed as he straightened himself to deliver the news.

Raja Bharmal and Champavati looked at him, perplexed.

"What is the matter?" the Raja asked.

"News has come that, that...."

"That what? If it's something menial, please leave." Champavati raised her hand trying to dismiss him but he spoke before she could ask him to leave, leaving them both shocked and in fear.

"What? Where did you hear it from?" she asked, getting up and walking towards him.

"A royal guard came from Agra. Shehenshah had sent him to fetch news if she is here!"

A tear rolled down Champavati's cheek and then another. She tried to stand straight, but her legs gave away as she fell down and the Raja ran up hastily to her support.

"Bring water!"

"Jodha..." Champavati cried, but it was too late now.

~

The cool breeze blew, giving the people some rest after the scorching heat. The sky was coloured orange. The trees blew along with the wind. Jodha was resting in a small hut. Inside, there was only a bed made of woods and twigs. She had a blanket she had carried with herself and a pillow provided by the people of the ashram.

As her head hit the pillow, sleep came, for she had been travelling for days now before reaching Mathura. This was one place where no one would even think of finding her. Shehenshah and even her father would search Vrindavan, Bharatpur, Ajmer and even Sambhar, but not here. She relaxed. She could listen to Kanha's bhajans daily now and even participate in the pooja herself. Plus, Navratri was only a few days away now so that would be amazing too. Although she had decided not to think of Jalal, as she slept, she still dreamt of him.

That night, she so wanted to forget, would flash in front of her eyes. She cried in her sleep, without realising. A few hours later, there was a slight knock on her door. She sniffled in her dream, uncomfortable as she already was, now she had to answer the door herself.

"Neela!" she said out loud because of her habit but no response came. The knocking continued and she got up, tired as her eyes searched for Neela. As the blurriness cleared and she looked around the room, reality dawned upon her. She was born a princess, and although her life was not very good back in Amber, it was better than this. She blamed Agra for spoiling her, by catering to all her needs. She got up, wiping away her tears as she fixed her veil and walked towards the door.

As she opened it, a man approximately in his mid-thirties stood there. He greeted her and she did the same.

"I have heard you are new. Tell me, where have you come from?"

"I don't owe an answer to you." She didn't know him and wherever she was right now, in whatever condition, she was still Jalal's wife and so Malika e Hindustan. Plus, the man's intentions were not liked by her.

"Now don't be so stubborn." He replied tugging her shoulder. She looked at him with her sharp gaze and for a moment, but only a mere moment he sensed death. But what would a mere commoner, that too a single woman do to him? He was the sarpanch of the nearby village and all respected him a lot. The women knew, that his intentions were wrong and he had forced many slave girls with his power on the bed but no one dare say anything against him. His father, grandfather, great grandfather, all had been sarpanch and he belonged to a rich and powerful family. He smirked evilly when she drew away.

"You are too stubborn, young girl! Have you not heard of me?"

She looked at him, straight into his eyes as her lips parted in speech. But what came out was rather insulting.

"You are right. It is my first day here and no, I haven't heard about you. What will I do by knowing about dogs anyway? I don't plan on having one."

His anger flamed up, which was clearly evident from his furious eyes ready to kill anyone at any moment. But before he could do something, the old woman Jodha had met earlier came towards the hut.

"Beti, dinner is ready. We all eat it together. Would you join us?" Jodha would have said no but to get away from this filthy man she nodded and the two walked away.

"She seems too uptight for a common girl!" he whispered to himself walking away. But he would not, could not give up on her so easily. He found her attractive and would have her anyhow. It was not like she was the Empress, only meant for the emperor. He thought to himself as he walked away.

"If, Madho comes again, get any excuse and come to me beti." The woman said as they reached the place. She patted Jodha slightly on her head and gave her a place to sit before serving her food.

Jodha ate silently. Who was this Madho? And why were people afraid of him?

After dinner, she excused herself. She wanted to spend time alone. All here were wanderers and travellers but they were curious as she was travelling alone. Women came up to her to ask what was her story and how she ended up coming here but she didn't reply. Men were curious too and would send slave girls to know the story but she somehow excused them all. Here she had not come out of her distraught phase and people already started asking so many questions.

Was it good what she did? Had it been better if she had stayed back? Was Jalal searching for her now? No, never. The way he had treated her, if she stayed after that, it would suggest that she didn't have any self-respect and as for the searching part, he would never waste so much time for her. He didn't love her.

Even if he ran soldiers around the country to find her, it would be to protect his own pride, so that no zenana women would be seen to the outside world. She sighed. She could not think so much. She needed rest, desperately; especially after her miscarriage. She had barely recovered when she had left Agra. Although it had been two weeks now, she still bled at times and found it difficult to even move. But good days were ahead because when the clouds darken a lot, sunshine is not far.

And so Jodha slept. The day was not easy for Jalal either. He had just reached Mathura and his guards and ministers suggested he rest, but he had decided otherwise. Every day, he would pray for the well-being of his begum. Not that she was not capable, she had never been out alone.

He feared if something happened to her, he would never be able to forgive himself. And so, life had become terrible for him. He would not rest until he had known that she was okay, that she had eaten and is healthy. Why? Why did he do that? It was too menial of him. This had happened to him before. Even Ruqqayah and Sabrina lost their child, but he never lost his temper this way.

If that day, he had not done what he did, not said what he spoke, she would perhaps be with him, in his arms. But it was not the case. He would when he found her, which he definitely would, this he knew, beg for her forgiveness. And when she would forgive him, he would do anything for her, anything she would wish for, all her unanswered prayers and wishes, he would fulfil them for her.