I love you!

Shehenshah, stop it.

I am pregnant? Really?

Shehenshah, don't leave me, okay?

Oh god, stop it seriously.

I have to go. Our story was written only up till here.

"JODHAAA!" Jalal got up from his nightmare. It had been a week since Jodha had gained conscious but she was not strong enough to meet anyone. She wanted to rest. No one had visited her ever since. Today, Hamida Banu was coming back. When she would hear of all this, oh how would she react, feared Jalal. But more than that, he feared Jodha. He had to face her someday. He couldn't keep hiding in his shell, like a coward. He decided today was the day. He would talk to her and sort things out. She would understand. She had to. After all, he was her husband, and everyone deserves to be forgiven. Not that he was completely wrong. She also slapped him. He got up from the bed as he planned the whole day and then walked to the hammam khana.

As he got ready, he asked one of the maids to inform Jodha he would be visiting her in the night. All excited and nervous, he stepped out for the jharokha darshan. Oh, how had he thought he would introduce the little prince or princess in a few days over here. Brushing away the old thoughts, he walked towards the diwan e aam. After spending two hours there, he walked to the diwan e khaas. After all his work was complete, he decided to visit Ruqqayah.

"Attention, Badshah e Hind is arriving."

Ruqqayah was seated in the middle of her bed and got up to welcome Jalal.

"Ruqqayah!"

"Aadaab Jalal."

"Will you accompany me?"

"Where?"

"To Jodha's. I can't face her alone."

"I don't know what you did to her, but I am sure it was wrong. You have to face her alone Jalal. It is your own suffering, no one can take it away from you. You have created this hell for yourself."

"But....it wasn't intentional, anything and everything that I did and say..."

"Tell that to her and I am sure she will understand...if you believe you aren't wrong."

He nodded and left. No one was helping him. Had it been someone else he had to apologise to and had he asked Jodha to accompany him, she would never think twice before saying yes. He walked slowly to her chamber and stopped at the entrance. The maids greeted him. Mustering all the courage he had, he decided to walk in before he heard someone shouting inside and it was surely not Jodha.

Moments later, he saw Neela running towards the entrance. She was in a hurry and her eyes were damp. As she saw Jalal, she stopped. He looked at her questioningly as she broke down in front of him, falling down to her knees, as the letter fell from her hand and rolled down to Jalal's feet.

Fifteen hours ago

"Hoshiyar, Hoshiyar!" Ruqqayah screamed as she paced through her room. Hoshiyar came in running.

"Ji, Begum Sahiba." Hoshiyar knew what was to be asked of him, but he still added pleasantries first.

"Is everything ready?"

"Ji."

"Okay, let's get going."

Ruqqayah Begum had been visiting Jodha now for over four days in a row. After that night, she had not known exactly what happened but she knew that Jalal had hurt her friend, in the worst possible way a husband could. So later that night, she had visited Jodha and had sat by her side. She had gently patted over her head and had shed a tear or two, for Ruqqayah was not among those who cried almost over anything. Her friend's condition had pierced her heart, and she knew nothing but to curse Jalal, but then again bound by duty, being his wife, she couldn't.

"Jodha, be good again. Please, I cannot bear to see you like this."

And then the next day, and then the day after until finally yesterday when she had finally opened her eyes.

"Ruqqayah..." she spoke slowly.

"Jodha, you are awake? Ya Allah, shukriya! Hoshiyar, call the hakim. Now!"

The hakim came running and checked Jodha.

"You are out of danger now, Malika. It was difficult, but you did it. You just need rest now."

"That's great news. Here, take this." Ruqqayah had thus blessed the hakim with golden coins.

As the hakim turned on to leave, Ruqqayah instructed Hoshiyar and nodded. By the time they were out of Jodha's bedroom, Hoshiyar stopped the hakim.

"What now, Hoshiyar?"

"Hakim, tell me the truth. Is Begum Sahiba going to be okay?"

"Jodha Begum is fine now, but the condition in which she was, when Shehenshah visited her, after what he....may have....done to her...." The hakim stuttered. She did not want her head to be slain, she had a family to support.

"Nothing of what you speak will go out of this room," Hoshiyar said handing her the bag of silver coins. The hakim looked at him, a little hesitant at first, but then accepted the bag and spoke,

"Begum Sahiba could have died, the way His Majesty treated...behaved with her. He might have been harsh on her, which is evident from the marks on her arms and her neck. She survived, that is a blessing from God. Otherwise, who knows what must have happened!"

"How are you so sure she wouldn't have survived?"

"Hoshiyar, think of what you speak. The woman had suffered from a miscarriage. That too is not from early pregnancy. She did not have the energy to even talk to anyone, and Shehenshah did whatever he did right at that moment. No baby or no heir is more important than a begum's life."

"I see. Thank you hakim sahiba. Your services will always be remembered!"

She bowed and left.

And today, finally when Jodha Begum had had something to eat, did she gain back some energy and could sit and talk.

"Jodha Begum!" Ruqqayah announced as she walked in.

"Pranam Ruqqayah. You know you don't have to tire yourself with these daily visits!"

"It gives me happiness. If you don't like it, then I can stop..."

"You are the only one with whom I share my grief and happiness. You are my best friend. Why are you saying such things?"

"Privacy!" Ruqqayah announced and sat beside Jodha, controlling her tears, and wiping away Jodha's.

"Begum Sahiba, don't cry. I am always here for you."

Jodha looked up and embraced Ruqqayah. She hugged her back, and let her cry.

"I don't want to be a begum, nor a princess. I want to be a woman. And I want to be loved by my husband. Why can't we queens also get what commoners do?"

"Because Jodha, unlike them, we are royal. And all day long we may be praised and wives of ordinary men may get jealous of us, but at night, it is us, who share our husband, for he is king, it is us, who cannot shed tears, for we are queens, and they, they can simply cry and then sleep by their husband's side, getting all his love and attention."

"Aren't we humans too?"

"We are like parents to our kingdom, Jodha. And parents, no matter what they do and how much they do, are still blamed by the child for not doing enough. We sacrifice for them, and they, in turn, blame us. And that is the cycle we are trapped in, for until we go through the same, experience the same, we never know how the others feel."

"Ruqqayah," Jodha sobbed and wiping her tears looked at her. "I want freedom."

"What? What does that mean?"

"I can't live like this anymore. I need to go."

"What are you talking about? Where will you go?"

"I will tell you everything but please don't tell Shehenshah. Can you promise me that?"

Ruqqayah nodded although she was still not convinced. 

💜BTS⟭⟬💜