DYLAN ||

We were finally going home.

That's such an unnatural thing to say, yet it felt the opposite.

I was going home with my mate.

He was actually coming home with me, like to my packhouse and he's my mate. Like my mate will be in my home with me, together.

Yeah.. I was definitely freaking out.

I wasn't trying to show it because I didn't want anyone to know I was on the edge of losing my shit, especially Raiden, but what the actual fuck. I am losing it.

There's no going back now, my family and closest friends know that Raiden is my mate, my pack will know about our bond tomorrow morning and he's going to be living with me. Sharing my bedroom, my bathroom, eating with me and my family, there was absolutely no going back now.

Not that I actually wanted to, I was just anxious as all fuck.

I know I promised him I would try. We came to a compromise and who would I be if I didn't agree to it?

Raiden has done everything I've asked so far, he's submissive and he hasn't seriously questioned my nervousness about us, so agreeing to his part of the compromise was easy.

I would try. I don't know if I'll succeed, but I'll try.

•••

I helped Raiden to his feet after Dr. Kyle left and I made a mental note to fire his ass after his little stunt he pulled, which was beyond embarrassing by the way. I mean really dude, to say that shit in front of my family AND Raiden, my nerves almost sent me through the fucking roof.

As if I wasn't already annoyed about how stupid I was being when it came to his meds, now I have to avoid everyone's eyes or I would surely die of embarrassment.

•••

Walking out of the hospital into the parking garage, my arm was wrapped tightly around Raiden's waist as I supported most of his weight because he said that he still felt weak, so I helped him into my car.

"I haven't been in a car in years Pups." Raiden smiled as I reached over his body to buckle his seatbelt. I would be lying if I said I didn't like the fact that he allowed me to take care of him this way.

"Seriously? Did you leave your pride thing the same age Rome did? Your dad kicked you out too?" I asked sliding into the drivers side.

"I'm not sure when my brother left the pride, but I left when I was 18. Lions don't allow any other males to stay within the pride once they've reached sexual maturity. So after fighting with my dad way too many times, I left and I've been on my own ever since." He said and I frowned while starting up the car.

"So you've been alone for 7 years?" I ask in disbelief and he nods.

"Yeah, but I'm not complaining about it... Remember pups, I'm a Leopard. I don't really do prides or packs, I prefer solitude."

"So how did you survive in a pride then? What about your mom? Roman said that she's a Leopard too. Is that true? How did she survive if that's the case?"

"Our mom is a Leopard just like me, that's true. She preferred solitude just as I do. It's just how our species is. All felines besides Lions, tend to live solitary lives until they find their mates and build their own family.." He starts to explain before smiling over at me, probably trying to decipher my confused expression.

"And as far as my mom surviving in the pride, she used to be super temperamental. She was fighting the lionesses all the time and snapping on everyone, so she and my father came to a compromise."

My smile grew wider at my mates mentioning of the one word we've grown closer because of.

"My father offered my mom to take a week or two every month to go off on her own, spend time away from the craziness that is a pride and because of that, their bond flourished and her tolerance levels grew stronger for those around her. Eventually she was able to stay in the pride for weeks at a time before she needed her break and my father always gave it to her."

Wow.. his father is truly selfless. I couldn't imagine allowing my mate to leave me like that.

"You said her tolerance levels grew because of their compromise, but before their compromise she was like on edge all the time?" I ask and he nods again. "So, does that mean you'll be on edge living in the pack? I don't want to make you uncomfortable." I whispered my last words, almost as if I was afraid to actually say them.

"Pups, I'll be honest with you. I don't like crowded areas and I don't like feeling suffocated when there's too many beings around, but I promised you the first day I met you that I would try and that's what I plan to do."

I couldn't stop the stupid grin that crept on my face. He's just too damn sweet all the time and it pisses me off.

"My tolerance levels aren't as nonexistent as my mothers were when she first met my father, I was born and raised in the pride. I had no choice but to adapt to my surroundings. So I can handle small crowds, like your family and friends being in my hospital room." Raiden explains and I nod, thinking back to the time when he almost freaked out on my dad and uncle when we all thought he passed out.

Raiden told everyone that he doesn't like being crowded. Come to think of it, he never actually engaged in any conversations with my family that didn't involve Roman.

My mate would just sit back and watch, Roman was a lot different. He was way more social and loud and upbeat, but Raiden was quiet and observant and only when everyone left, did he actually come out of his shell and talk to me.

I'm not sure how this will work with the pack. He's to be their Luna, social gatherings are planned by the Luna. He's supposed to be the warmth of our pack. The gentle hand, the nurturer, the caregiver, but how could any of that happen if he doesn't enjoy those things?

"Raid."

"Yes pups."

"How do you feel about being a leader to our pack? I know you said you can't handle crowds, but that's what a pack is. A crowd. Are you sure you'll be able to handle leading by my side and not feeling uncomfortable? Being the leaders, our pack will look to us for guidance and strength. We have to make appearances together and handle situations that, majority of the time, involves every member of our pack." I explain nervously, but my mate being the sweetheart that he is, only chuckles at my idiot-ness.

"It's just larger crowds that make me uncomfortable Pups... I also won't lie and say that I won't need my personal space at times because I will.... I like my alone time, but even in those times, if I'm ever making you feel unwanted, communicate that with me and we can work together to fix it... I'm confident in knowing that I can lead by your side and if there's times that I'm uncomfortable or anxious or being snappy, I'll let you know and you'll be there to support me through it."

Well damn it...

Why does he have such a way with words?

It's not fair for someone to be so perfect...

I nod in agreement, not having the words to articulate the way he can.

All I could was nod, smile and try to hide my traitorous cheeks. I hate how responsive my body is just from the sheer presence of my mate.

This damn Feline.

•••

Pulling into the driveway of the packhouse, I quickly park my car as I take my seatbelt off and get out the car. Closing the door behind me, without even thinking, I walk around to the other side and open Raiden's door.

I rolled my eyes at myself, I was being so damn chivalrous towards my mate, who's a man by the way. He's fully capable of opening his own door, yet I'm treating him like he's some damsel in distress.

Raiden steps out of the car and I take a step away from him. I was being so stupid right now, but I don't get to sulk for long because my eyes met his as he smiled down at me.

"Thank you for opening my door Pups, I appreciate you."

DAMN IT..

I groaned before hiding my face in my hands. I knew I was blushing like all hell from his damn praise. I was starting to think my mate knew exactly what he was doing to me, he knew how much it affected me and he was taking every opportunity to embarrass me.

Goddess... Why am I like this???

Pulling myself together, I ran my hands down my face before going to the trunk and grabbing my dufflebag. I motion to Raiden to follow me into the packhouse.

Once inside, I hold the door open for my family and friends that so graciously decided today would be the best day to bombard me with their love.

Well I couldn't totally fault Gabe, Avery, Hunter or Roman. Seeing how they all lived here too, but as far as my family, yeah they were working my nerves with how eager they were to spend time with me right now.

Eventually I walked away from the door when my dad and uncle Jake were taking way too long to come inside.

I noticed Raiden rooted to the same spot by the kitchen as he looked around, so I decided to make sure he was doing ok with everything.

Shit he's said he's been on his own for the last 7 years, so I don't even know if he's even been in a house during that time. Maybe he's been living like a feral cat, I don't know.

"Raid." I call out to him and he immediately looks at me. "Are you ok?" I ask and he nods after staring at me for a few seconds.

"Yes pups, I'm ok... it's just different."

His words brought confusion to me as I frowned trying to understand what he meant.

"Different how?" I ask and he turns his body completely, our chests almost touching. The intimate feeling of being this close to him was making me a little uncomfortable.

"Onyx and I had a little agreement between us. I knew he loved the outdoors and he knew I preferred to be indoors with a decent amount spent outside. So we would swap every few weeks with living in hotels or in the forest...." Raiden explains looking around the kitchen over his shoulder before he looked back at me.

"The few weeks before we found you were his to enjoy. We stayed in his form for two weeks before we met you, living in the forest... So to be back indoors, to be back in an actual home.... It's different."

I swallow before letting out a deep sigh at his words. Was this the first time he's actually been a house since his dad kicked him out?

"Have you ever had a.." I start before taking in a sharp breath when I feel Raiden's hand touch mine. My eyes travel down to the way his fingers slowly intertwined with mine. His thumb rubbed gentle circles over my knuckles, before I felt his fingers grip my chin and tilt my head up to meet his gaze.

Oh fuck...

PANIC. PANIC. HOMOSEXUAL PANIC.

Please don't kiss me. Do not kiss me. If you do, I can't promise that I'll be able to stop, but I'm scared I'll like it. I can't like it, I know you're my mate, but I'm not gay..

Please don't kiss me.

Please don't kiss me..

We continue to stare into each other's eyes, his locked on mine. Mine locked on his. I was completely lost in his sunset blessed gaze.

Please don't kiss me.

His warmth and the grip he had on me was so soft yet so firm. Everything felt so euphoric as the sparks of our bond sent a shiver up my spine.

Please don't kiss me...

Then he purred ever so quietly, almost as if he only wanted me to hear him and feel his love of being comfortable with me.

Like only I could bring him such comfortability. Such contentment, such love?

Shit... Please don't kiss me....

He tilts his head to the right, so slightly I could have missed it if I wasn't paying such close attention. His eyes close so gently, but not enough to break the way he was deepening into my soul.

Please don't kiss me.....

I swallow again as he leaned in closer, the borders of the entrance that guards his tongue hover over mine.

Fuck...

His breath fans my lips as I feel myself lean in closer to him and my grip tightens on his hand that securely held mine.

My heart beating so strongly to the drum of his essence.

FUCKING KISS ME...

"Thank you for giving me a home Pups, you're the best thing to have ever happened to me." My eyes widen at the genuine look in his before I swallow again when I feel his grip leave my chin and then his hand leaves mine as he takes a step back.

I don't know if that was me, but I heard a whimper leave someone's lips and instinctively I take a step forward, suddenly missing the warmth of his hands on me.

Raiden watches me and smiles at my sudden reaction to him, which brings me back to my reality as I was lost in his fantasy.

I shake my head and let out a frustrated sigh before turning away from him.

This fucking Leopard.

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