DYLAN ||

I listened..

Listened so intently to Raiden's conversation with Roman, who fuck me, is his younger brother.

This is a nightmare.

Like seriously. A full blown nightmare, night terror, waking up to pee in the bed, drenched in sweat, panic coursing through you, anxiety ridden nightmare.

I didn't even put two and two together. Even when Rome would talk about his brother every morning during breakfast with the family in the packhouse.

Rome spoke so highly of his older brother, calling him his "lifeline" and saying things like "nobody could ever compare" to him. He would tell us how his older brother took care of his younger siblings all the time when their parents who were a damn Lion and Leopard by the way, would leave on their monthly "getaways."

Telling us about stories about how his brother would tell him and their twin sisters about their parents bond and how beautiful it was, how selfless his parents were, especially his father for allowing his mate to have alone time away from their "pride" in order to please her "solitary needs" being a Leopard.

I don't know why I never put two and two together man!

I mean it wasn't like Rome ever actually mentioned his brothers name. He always referred to him as "brother" or "my hero."

So now I'm freaking the fuck out.

I've actually come to like the damn feline shifter over the last week that he's been in the pack, his asshole tendencies were hilarious and according to him, he found me entertaining as well. I thought Roman and Hunter were perfect together honestly

Roman could handle Hunter's sharp tongue and it was obvious that they both knew who the submissive one in the relationship was. Aha... that being Hunter of course.

His little attitudes and jokes didn't phase the Lion at all, he actually just laughed at my Gamma and would wave his tantrums off like he was waving off a fruit fly at a barbecue.

I had to admit that the Lion didn't rub me the wrong way anymore. He's nothing but helpful and tried his hardest to absorb the love of my pack, I guess that was because he's a social creature as well.

Whatever the case, he fit into the pack effortlessly and all the wolves that met him fell in love with him, even if he did have a tongue just as sharp as Hunter.

Roman was welcomed to stay in my pack as long as he wanted and as long as Hunter wanted. He didn't bring any drama or issues. I didn't think anything would go wrong with his presence in the pack, until today..

I don't know who the hell got Raiden out of the cells, I was working on commanding all my pack members to hear the truth because this was not good. I mean I'm happy that he's out because I didn't want to keep him in there, I just didn't have the balls to get him out myself. Not after the Council gave their ruling on the amount of time he would serve on punishment.

I was in the room with Raiden and Gabe when he woke up, but Hunter linked me and told me that Roman was damn near tearing my pack hospital down screaming about his familial bond and the fact that he could feel that his brother was close and he didn't understand why.

The fucking feline is powerful man. He ripped through my pack hospital with such ease, it put fear in my heart. I wasn't expecting Garrett and Theo to link me when they all walked into Raiden's hospital room and tell me about the damage that Roman caused in the lobby and the every floor he tore through, all trying to get to his older brother.

The fear that seeped through me when I figured out they were related was nothing short of the fear that coursed through me when I came face to face with Roman's rage. He almost killed me and one of my damn nurses when he busted in the hospital room.

I felt myself zone out from the feline brothers conversation. All I could think about was how hurt my mate was, how much the bond was pulling me to comfort him, how I was the cause of his pain and how betrayed he actually felt. Mate bond classes taught us that when you find your mate, you'll be able to feel all of their emotions once you mark each other, but I was starting to feel Raiden's without even touching him. The guilt of it all was eating me alive.

I just stared at him and Roman, trying to soak in as much of their brotherly love as I possibly could, while I missed my own brother. Not Garrett, but my older brother. He would be so disappointed in me if he knew how I've behaved man.

The moment when Roman called Hunter over to him, was when I zoned back in and I seen Raiden's reaction. I could practically taste his fury at the fact that his brother was mated to the same man that helped take him down.

The same man that injected with the numbing agent that took all control from him, that took his leopard from him, all while I used our bond to my advantage.

What the fuck is wrong with me??

I know my actions were wrong, everything was wrong and I couldn't deny it. I couldn't blame it on Raiden because I never gave him a chance to explain anything and even when he did, I shut him down before I actually investigated anything.

How the fuck could I treat my mate this way?!

He looked so hurt, so frail.... so broken.

Even with the potency of his rage that filled the room, he never lost control. He never cursed anyone or tried to attack any of us. Theo and Garrett stood next to me just as shocked at my mate.

Raiden never once lashed out at any of us, even though I knew my brother and cousin were the ones responsible for his many bruises.. I knew.

They were the only ones that I allowed to go down there to bring his food and water twice a day, I wasn't stupid. Raiden's body was riddled with bruises and Garrett and Theo were the only culprits.

I knew Gabe and Hunter wouldn't have touched a hair on his beautiful head because they knew he was my mate, our packs rightful Luna, but my brother and cousin didn't know that.

Even with that, I still didn't do anything. I just stood around like a fucking coward. I never once scolded them when I first seen Raiden's form when I went down to the cells.

I never scolded them when I seen him in the pack hospital, I never said anything. I never did anything!

What kind of mate am I??

"The fucked up kind!" Maddox snarled. I didn't even take offense to his comment, I was just glad to have him back. He hasn't spoken to me in weeks!

Not much else could describe my feelings watching and listening to Roman speak to Raiden about all of us, except more and more guilt.

Telling his brother nothing but good things about us when I knew that Raiden only seen the negative parts of us.

I was praying to the Moon Goddess that Raiden would forgive me for my actions, my heart ached for him. I still wasn't happy about being mated to a man, but the least I could do was give him a chance at a friendship.

A platonic mate bond at the very least because I've been the biggest fucking idiot... My mate could have died in those cells and I didn't do a fucking thing to stop the punishment or help him. Even if I was scared of the Council stepping in if I ended the punishment earlier, I should have stood up for myself and my mate. I should have let him out or at the very fucking least, made him comfortable down there. I could have done more, I should have done more.

I hoped he would forgive me and I stupidly hoped that he wasn't too upset with me..

However, all my hopes of that went right out the window when Roman asked Hunter if Raiden could stay in the pack. Hunter answered him nervously then asked me for my opinion.

I looked at my mate and seen nothing but pure hatred for me in his eyes and I tried to appease that by quickly responding and agreeing that he could stay here because of course he could. He's my mate and I wasn't going to reject him or hand him over to the Council.

What I wasn't expecting was Raiden to address every single one of my pack in the room and say nothing but kind words to us all. Even through their actions towards him, he still maintained that beautiful soul of his.

Until he turned to me..

I was seriously hoping he wouldn't mention our mate bond in front of Garrett, Theo and Roman because I needed some more time to explain to them about what's happened.

Not that I was afraid to tell them about our bond because I'm mated to a man, but that I was afraid to tell them about our bond because of the way I've treated him and allowed others to treat him.

Then his words came as panic quickly coursed through my body...

"And with allowing me to stay here, I hope I'm ok in assuming that you finally seem willing to accept our bond.... Mate."

My whole heart dropped into my ass after that as I seen Garrett, Theo and Roman's eyes whip towards me.

Internally I was panicking like I've never panicked before. They all knew now, they knew and my parents would know, my aunts, my uncles, Kaylie, my grandparents, the whole pack would know that Raiden was my mate and they would judge me based on how I've treated their Luna.

This was sure to cause an uproar. A pack's only as strong as their Alpha.. and an Alpha is only as strong as his Luna.

Literally the Luna is what holds a pack together, not the Alpha, not the Beta or Gamma or warriors, but the Luna. They are the heart and soul of the pack, the brain to the body, the calm to their Alphas storm and I fucked over my Luna.

This is bad.

"My brother is your mate?" Roman asked, slowly standing up from his spot on Raiden's hospital bed. Hunter grabbed his hands, effectively stopping him from walking towards me.

"Did you know?" He asked looking down at Hunter who nods hesitantly.

"Please tell me that's not true Dylan." My brother, Garrett whispers as he grabs my arm.

"What the hell have we done?" Theo whispered while clutching his hair.

"What do you mean, what have you done? What happened to my brother?" Roman asks, gently shoving Hunter from his body as he stared in my eyes.

I literally had no words, like nothing.

Nothing would come out.

Usually I can't get my mouth to close, nothing but shit-ball words flinging left and right, but right now, nothing would come.

"Dylan." Garrett said, yanking my arm bringing my gaze to his. "Is Raiden your mate?" He asks, I could hear the desperation in his voice and before I could stop myself, I nod.

"Oh Goddess Dylan! You let us treat him that way! You put him in the cells for three weeks? Made us starve him like that? You told us he was nothing more than our packs prisoner and to do as we wish, just not to cause serious harm..... Dylan , he's our Luna! Our pack mistreated our Luna!" Garrett panicked through the link and I nod once.

"I never told you or Theo to harm him Garrett.. and I didn't know if he was telling the truth about the raw diet. I thought it was some kind of trick to get us to bend to his will again." I answered back, just as much panic laced in my words.

"But Dylan, you told us he was the packs prisoner. You said to do as we please, just not to cause serious harm..... Me and Garrett laid our hands on our Luna. We mistreated our Luna! This is bad Dylan!" Theo panicked next.

"What are we going to do? It's wasn't just how we mistreated him! You took a lot of us that day to capture him! You didn't tell us he was your mate. You told us to attack him without mercy and subdue him. Hunter injected him with the agent Dylan! Oh my Goddess... we're all going to die if this gets back to the Council." Garrett yelled through the link.

I cut it after that. I was seriously unable to listen to their fear stricken voices as I was panicking myself right now. If Roman finds out how we treated his brother, he could take down majority of our pack by himself with no problem and if Raiden wanted to, he definitely could go to the Council about this.

My whole pack would be jeopardy, my rank, my way of life. Everything could crumble all because I was being an absolutely fucking idiot instead of the Alpha I should have been!

"Brother, their Alpha is your mate and yet here you are riddled in bruises, you look like nothing but fucking bones, someone abused you and I want you to tell me who right now! Because you said that this pack helped you, so is that the truth or did someone here hurt you? Because so help me Goddess, I will rip this pack apart!" Roman roared. His voice filtered through me as it should, causing more heartache.

I couldn't even get upset over the clear threat he just put forth against my pack because he was fucking right!

"Roman." Raiden's voice effectively pulled out of my thoughts and I listened to what he was going to say with a heavy heart. "The pack here isn't to blame for what you see. They helped me, I'm healing because of them."

I raised my eyebrows at my mates words as his eyes met mine. I gulped and shoved back the guilt I was feeling to try and offer him a weak smile, which he never returned.

"Dylan's pack found me on their borders a few days ago. I've been here in their hospital healing."

Oh my Goddess, he actually lied for us, for me.

"No brother, I've felt our bond for the past week. There's no way you've only been here a few days. Please tell me the truth. Please." Roman begged sitting back down on the bed and grabbing Raiden's hand.

"I'm telling you the truth Rome. I haven't been here longer than a few days, I promise. Your mate is the one who found me actually and he called for help. Garrett and Theo came and helped carry me here, that's when Dylan came to check on the leopard his wolves found on their border and I found out he was my mate a few days ago." Raiden explained, never taking his eyes from Roman's as he lied so smoothly to save our asses.

The same asses that never saved him.

I looked around at my pack and their eyes were wide as they stared at Raiden, with the same dumbfounded and thankful expression I held.

"What happened to you then brother? Who did all of this to you?" Roman asked, grabbing the back of Raiden's neck and being his forehead to his.

"Human hunters Rome. The sick fuckers that hurt dad when we were still cubs. Remember them? The fucking humans?" Raiden asked closing his eyes while he sunk into his brothers grasp. A slice of jealousy stung my heart as I wished that was my arms he was in.

"Yes brother I remember. I was caught in one of those human traps too." Roman said.

"They're assholes Rome. They tortured me for months before I could escape. Onyx ran as far as he could before he collapsed and he was forced to shift back." Raiden explained as tears rolled down his cheeks. The guilt that hit me over his loss of his Leopard was crippling.

"Where is Onyx now brother? Why can't I feel him? Asad said he can't feel him. Where is he?" Rome asked and my eyes widened, hoping Raiden wouldn't tell him about the injections we've been giving him to force his Leopard to the confides to their mind.

"He's here Rome. He's just really weak, as long as I heal properly, then he will come back, but he needs time and a lot of it. I haven't felt him fully for a long time, but he's still here with me. Tell Asad not to worry about his big brother. Onyx will be fully healed soon enough." Raiden lied again and I let out a heavy breath as Rome nods against his forehead.

"I thank your mate and Garrett and Theo and my mate for helping me the way they have Rome. You're surrounded by some great wolves here and I hope I can be as happy with my mate as you are with Hunter." Raiden said, slightly opening his eyes and looking at me out the corner of his eyes. I gulp loudly and nod, more to myself than anyone else as I tear my eyes away from his.

The guilt was just way too much right now..

Even if I don't want an actual mated relationship with him, there was no reason why I couldn't just be civil with him and develop a friendship at best.

Raiden and Roman stayed tangled into each other's grasp until Hunter asked his mate if they could go home to get some rest before Hunter had to start border patrol. Roman was hesitant to leave his brother, but Raiden was quick to reassure his brother that he would be ok with me, Garrett and Theo as Gabe had to leave as well to go check on Avery.

The moment Hunter, Gabe and Roman left the hospital room, I held my breath as I looked back at Raiden, who was already staring at me.

"Raiden, I-"

"Don't, I didn't lie for your sake, but for my brothers. There's no reason I should stress his bond with his mate by telling him what actually happened to me here at the hands of my own." His words were chilling, Maddox was howling in pain at the thought of our mates rejection.

"Why did you lie?" Garrett asked carefully.

"I already answered that question for your Alpha... we're you not listening?" Raiden asked looking at my brother, who avoided his gaze at all costs.

"Sorry Luna, that's-"

"Don't call me that. I'm not your packs Luna." Raiden snapped.

"You kind of are though. You're mated to our Alpha, it's only appropriate that we address you by your title." Theo explained, taking a quick step back and hanging his head when Raiden looked at him.

"Well whatever, I'm asking you not to call me that. Or is it that you only blindly listen to your Alphas orders?" Raiden asked and I took a deep breath before looking at my brother and cousin.

"You both are to listen to Raiden's orders as well. If he's asking you not to call him Luna, then don't. Address him the way he wants to be."

"Yes Alpha." They say in unison before looking back at Raiden, as if they were waiting for his next instruction.

"What?" He asked, clearly irritated.

"What would you like us to call you?" Garrett asked.

"My name." Raiden said plainly and Garrett and Theo nod.

"What you did to me..." Raiden started as tears formed in his eyes once again. "What you injected me with all this time..." He scrunched his face up in pain. "Was it permanent? Will Onyx come back to me?" He whispered the last part.

Fuck..

He looks so broken..

"You fucking jerk! Of course he's broken and I want my mate Dylan! You and the rest of these damn wolves in our pack had no right to take Onyx from me! You better give him back or find a way or I won't be the most cooperative wolf for you!" Maddox growled.

"The numbing agent wasn't permanent Raiden, that's why we had to inject you everyday. Onyx should return once it's fully out of your system." I explain carefully, trying my best to ignore the way my heart felt like it was being ripped from my chest.

"I hope so. I need him Dylan." Raiden whispered.. I felt so fucking guilty about all of this. I went to say something to my mate, but he turned his back on me and faced the wall as I heard his breathing grow shallow.

What kind of Alpha am I man?

What kind of mate am I?

"You make your bond better my son, accept him and do your best to earn his favor. You can't hide or fight fate. Many have learned that when you fight fate, it has a way of bringing you together in the toughest of lessons."

My mother was right. I have to stop fighting this, I didn't know what could actually happen if I keep doing this to myself or Raiden.

"Thanks mom. I'll try my hardest to fix this." I respond back through the link.

And I meant every word.

I would try my hardest to fix this, even if it meant just having a friendship with my mate. I've been a damn jerk long enough.

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