Chapter 31

Cade meets me at a sandwich shop just a few minutes past three. He waves when I walk in, grinning from behind a pair of dark, square shades. Unlike when I see Blake, there's no spark of emotion that takes ahold of my intestines and squeezes them into a tight ball. There's no real connection – romantically speaking.

Instead there's a surge of foreign lust and desire that simply hasn't been quenched. Cade stands from the table, wearing those ridiculous looking skinny jeans and a black t-shirt. He wraps his arms around me when I reach him, his arms leaner and less muscular than the ones that were around me this morning.

"Fuck, I missed you," Cade says against my ear. "I was beginning to think you were trying to wiggle out of seeing me at all while you were here."

I grimace and pat him on the back. "Sorry. I've been busy."

He chuckles and pulls away, nodding for me to take a seat next to him.

"You hungry at all?" Cade asks.

"No."

"Well, I work late nights," Cade explains. "So this is my version of lunch."

I take a seat and glance at Cade's half-eaten sandwich and unopened bag of chips. Doesn't look very good, but knowing his preference in pizza toppings, I shouldn't be surprised. My phone buzzes in my pocket, and my fingers itch to read it. I know it's from Blake; it has to be. I texted just a few minutes ago telling him where I'd be during my conversation with Cade.

"So what's going on?" Cade asks, pulling my thoughts away from the text waiting for me in my pocket. "Your text was pretty elusive."

"Right. Well, here's the thing..."

My mouth suddenly goes dry, yet the back of my throat closes up with too much saliva. My heart picks up pace, and I can tell that this isn't going to be as easy as I originally thought it would be. I wipe the palm of my hands down the leg of my pants and sigh.

"Is this a rejection meet-up? Is that what's happening right now?" Cade asks abruptly.

I glance at him. His smile vanishes and he sets his sandwich back on the plate. He raises his eyebrows, waiting for me to respond.

"I..."

My voice tapers off and I swallow hard. Then I nod. Cade's shoulders slump and he looks away from my face. An uncomfortable silence takes over the space between us, and I am at a loss of what to say. Do I apologize? Normally I apologize, claiming that it's not them, it's me.

In this case, I would actually mean the apology. And in this case it really isn't Cade, and it really is me. He did nothing wrong to cause this or to sway my feelings one way or another. In fact, up until now, he's been the epitome of a good friend – trustworthy, reliable, and understanding.

Plus, I'm attracted to him. It's not as if my feelings for Blake or my decision to be with him erases that. Cade and I shared a few intimate moments, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't feeling the dude in those moments. I'd also be lying if I claimed to not be attracted to him at this very moment.

...which is all the more reason to make a clean break.

"I'm sorry," I say, choosing to leave out the second line.

Cade sighs and shakes his head. Then the silence continues picks up again for a few more unbearably long minutes. He picks at his sandwich, pulling off a piece of bread before smashing it in between his fingers and dropping it back onto the plate.

"Well damn," he murmurs under his breath. "That sucks."

I rub at the back of my neck, hating the sudden tension between us. My brain isn't wired to deal well with this kind of shit. I'm the one in the back rolling my eyes at this kind of drama or trying to find the hottest chick to take home with me. Being the one front and center during an emotionally-triggered moment after years of avoiding it – well, feels pretty shitty.

"I'm sorry, man," I say again, as no other words seem to process in my mind.

Cade laughs under his breath, but I've heard his genuine laugh enough to know this one is fake. Forced. He shrugs and picks up his sandwich again.

"I won't act like I was playing the entire time, Callum. I have feelings for you, and this isn't the news I was hoping for. But I'll deal with it."

I watch him, my stomach tightening with guilt. His gaze ventures up to meet mine, and from behind his shades, I can tell his eyes are now guarded when he looks at me. This just intensifies the guilt. Cade shakes his head again and takes a bite of his sandwich.

"Relax, Callum. We'll still be cool. I'll still text you pointless shit at 3:00 AM when I get off of work, and we'll still have Blake-bashing sessions whenever he does something to piss you off."

This time it's my turn to have my shoulders slump. A piece is from relief. The other piece is from a wistful regret that I can't undo. I reach over and grab for his bag of chips.

"I'm eating some of these," I inform him and open them up.

A strong whiff of sour cream and onion fumigates my nostrils, and I squint at the bag before setting the disgusting flavor of chip back on the table.

"You seriously have the worst fuckin' taste in food."

Cade laughs. It's genuine this time. He swipes back his bag of chips and pops one into his mouth, chomping on it with an enthusiastic fervor.

"Mmmmm," he groans. "So good."

I roll my eyes. "You're an idiot."

Cade takes another few bites and leans back in his chair. "So, how'd it happen – between you and Blake I mean? I take it he's the reason behind all of this?"

He picks up his napkin and hastily wipes his supple lips. Then he takes a swig of water and holds up his hand as if to add a correction to his question. "And please, keep in mind that while I'm still your buddy, my feelings haven't budged. Sexual details or overly romantic gestures can be side-stepped."

I inwardly cringe, forcing myself to look away from the blush now coloring Cade's cheeks. "Right. Ah, we're not official yet. But I got a note at the hotel yesterday from Phil – "

"His ex?"

"Yea. Well, at least I thought it was Phil. Turns out it was really from Blake just trying to get enough of a rise out of me to get a second date."

Cade's eyes widen and he whistles under his breath. "Damn. Dude is high-key jealous, huh?"

I roll my eyes. Sometimes the 'hip' way he talks reminds me of Kansas whenever she jibber-jabbers to our fellow co-workers back at home. Even my older brother, Jared, thinks it's fun to keep up with the verbiage trends.

"Wasn't the smartest move on his end," I agree, reiterating Blake's words from last night. "But it kind of showed me all I needed to know regarding his feelings."

Cade takes another bite of his sandwich, mulling over my words. "So let me get this correct. You two aren't technically a 'couple,' and his last power move was one of jealousy?"

The edge of excitement in his voice gives me pause. I may not know Cade very well, but I know him well enough to hear when an idea is on the cusp of forming. True to form, Cade snaps his fingers in an 'ah-hah!' moment.

"I've got an idea."

Surprise, surprise.

"Give me your watch," he instructs.

"What?"

"Your watch. Hand it over."

"Why?"

Cade sighs and holds out his hand. "Because I can tell you haven't gotten laid yet. And believe me. If you told me you wanted a round of practice with me before going into bed with the big boss man, I'd be all for it."

A sudden image of Cade's naked body pops into my mind. I try to blink it away.

"But if his last power play was on the jealous front, I think you should bring it on home with one your own. It won't be anything too crazy, don't worry. Nothing that'll piss him off too badly or turn into a dramafest, anyway. But it'll be enough for you to get a rise out of him."

Despite my curiosity, I know that if this could end up hurting Blake, I'm out. My boss is already on edge knowing I'm with Cade right now. Whatever plan Francisco's hottest bartender has forming up his sleeve will only make that worse.

Then again...

If it truly is innocent enough that it will lead to hot sex with Blake, I would be willing to spend the next three months making it up to him.

I weigh the options, thinking about that small tether where Blake's jealousy is anxiously chomping at the bit. Then I think about him dragging me back to the bedroom, kissing me roughly and quenching a desire that's been growing inside me since the minute I met him.

"Keep in mind that I'll probably say no," I answer Cade, leaning forward with raised eyebrows. "But go on. I'm listening."