My happiness shattered some movements ago and my whole existence seems to lie to me. Why it happened to me only? Was I that wrong all this time? How can I be so blind that I didn't see her true intentions at all? My heart was crushed no my heart was being shattered in billion of pieces and nothing can fix this pain. Today was the day when I suppose to find my own family after so long that I couldn't able to stop grinning like a child who is going to be Disney land.

Well, she was everything to me, my heaven, my life everything that anyone can think of but now I can see it was just a pure lie for her. The movement I saw that video I felt I was thrown on fire pot and my whole body was burning and my heart was screaming in pain. I felt like someone was hitting a nail on my heart and I was dying slowly with that pain. I don't know how long I walk but once I reach the hostel I closed my room and lie down on the floor crying hysterically.

Everything around me reminds of her only but also reminds me of betrayal. Tears were unstoppable reminding the pain aches in the chest. I picked the first thing I got in my hand and throw on the wall which makes the loudest disturbance.

I felt walls are shrinking and I couldn't able to breathe at all. All I know that everything was taken from me and I need to suffer for the things I have done in my life. My love life slips from my hand and I couldn't able do to anything it's gone as much as I want to deny it's slip away from my hand. I screamed loudest to shake the entire building to yell at God that why it happened to me when I was just inches away from happiness.

I want to shout but I couldn't because it was entirely my fault I should tell her truth earlier but I was selfish to not say anything to her. I don't want to lose her so I keep making excuses but it was me only. I blamed myself for being a jerk all the time. I was on my knees and cried for loudest called her name but all I can see the emptiness around me. All I can see is a big black hole which swallows my entire existence and there was nothing left about me.

There is a hole in my heart and nothing can fix it anymore now. I screamed for god knows how long till I reached the point where my eyes are puffy and my voice was gone for good. All I have left was my aching heart which is screaming for my love but she was gone from my life.

I can't lose her not anymore it was not an option for me anymore. She was going to be my wife so I will do whatever it takes to get her back even if I need to go on my knees in front of everyone asks for her forgiveness. I take out my phone and called her in the hope she picks my phone but without any luck, it just rings only. I was determined to win her back so I tried again and again and every time but at some point, she starts cutting my call. That's a good sign I guess at least she knows that it was me I guess don't know but I keep trying calling her. I don't know why but I couldn't able to go to our dorm room for some reason I want her to be calm to listen to me properly before she sees my face. I was afraid if I went to meet her she will remind all those things I did to her in past. She was thinking that whatever I did was a lie but for me, she was my heaven. After a trial of constant one-hour calling, she finally picks my call and all thoughts or things I want to say vanished in that movement.

"Stop calling me Amanda we are done for good never come back to me or try to contact me again," she said with so much anger that I almost flinch but I deserve it

"Please listen, love, whatever you see was very old but please trust me I love you from my heart everything was real to me please believe I never want to hurt you" I try to say with tears in my eyes

"It doesn't matter anymore Amanda we are over and never call me again ever again." She said without any hesitation

"But I can't live without you" I cried loud while saying this

"Then die I don't care anymore" with that she cut the call.