I felt pretty awkward sitting there. Obviously this is something personal about Margo, and it feels like we're pressuring her on telling us her deepest and darkest secrets. I glanced at everyone around the table and I could tell that they all felt the same.

"You really don't have to tell us, if you're uncomfortable talking about it." I finally said out loud.

"Yeah." Natasha added.

"I mean, everyone is already here, so why the heck not." Margo said nervously. She took a deep breath, folded her trembling hands in front of her and said, "I'm a drug addict."

Everyone was silent.

"I used to be really angry too, and growing up as Marco's older sister wasn't really great for him."

I could tell that Margo was trying really hard to keep herself together.

"I've used heroin, sniffed cocaine, pot, ecstasy- You name it, I've probably done it." Margo continued and had time to chuckle. "I uh, my parents weren't really around either because they were busy running this place. They were going through some things too because they both turned to drug addicts and they eventually passed away... Marco, he saw them in the tub with needles in their arm-"

Natasha immediately placed an arm around her shoulders and tried to comfort her.

"Uh, I wasn't really around when our parents died either. In my head I thought, they didn't care about me, so why should I care about them? My main regret was forgetting that I have a little brother. I'm five years sober now, and I'm trying to get my life back, I'm trying to reconnect with my family- I'm just trying to be a better person now, because I knew I wasn't back then."

Again, everyone was silent. Margo's voice trembled a little when she spoke, but she took a deep breath again.

"I understand if Marco doesn't want to talk to me, but guys- Don't blame him for how he reacted today. Blame me."

"We're not doing that." Gina said. "No one is going to blame anyone. You're pretty amazing for going through what you've been through. I apologize for being a bitch towards Marco earlier..."

"He can be a bit narcissistic huh?" Margo said. "I think it's his coping mechanism. He wants to be perfect in front of everyone's eyes because his childhood was so fucked up- Uh, well that's what my councilor said anyways. I'm just trying to connect with him again. I want to be an older sister that he could rely on. I understand that it's probably takes time, so he hates me right now and that's totally okay."

"Margo..." I started. I wanted to say something. I can't bear the broken look in her face. She's smiling, but it didn't reach her eyes. We're all seeing this other side of Margo, and I know that all of us have nothing but respect towards her.

With a big sigh, and a quick rub in her eyes, she quickly snatched Dennis' santa hat and dumped the names on the table and grabbed Marco's name. She put everything back in the hat and took another name. Margo grinned and passed the hat to me.

"I'm trying to surround myself with good people. I hung out with the wrong crowd, and I'm not going to let that happen anymore." Margo smiled, and put the paper away. "Please don't treat me differently. I hope you guys don't mind me grabbing my own brother's name. I'm assuming he's not playing anymore. But to keep the game going, I grabbed another one. Hope it's okay..."

"Of course." Nat said, and everyone nodded.

I didn't know what to say, and it's starting to get quiet again so I quickly pulled out a name in the hat. I peeked at it, and contained my grin.

I got Dani.

"Alright, you go next Nat."

Everyone got a name out of the hat and Dennis cleared his throat.

"Okay! So the plan was you get until next Friday to give your person a gift. Since that Friday is the last day of school before winter break, I was thinking that we should meet at Mave's house after school to open the presents." Dennis announced. I frowned, and looked at him.

"Why my house?" I asked. "How did you know that my parents won't be home?"

It's true. My parents won't be home because they're going to another business trip. They've been recently busy because the holidays are coming up. They said that they're just wrapping up major meetings so they'll be free on Christmas day. I didn't question it. But it made me a little sad that I was going to be home alone.

"Your mom texted me." Dennis said. "Since I am a trusted youth, your mom encouraged me that I should keep you company while they are gone. She said you get lonely."

"My mom is a witch, I tell you." I murmurred.

I looked at Dani and wondered what present I could get her for secret santa. As usual, I was staring again.

The tip of her nose and cheeks are red from the cold. Little baby blonde hairs poked out from her beanie and she was laughing about what Margo just said. The crinkle on the corners of her eyes gave her the look of pure joy, and her smile was so contagious that I can't help but smile too. I wanted to hold her hand, I wanted to kiss her, but suddenly the overwhelming thought of people staring and their eyes judging crossed my mind. It makes me sad that I felt that way.

I must've had a look on my face because I was now staring at those pair of light brown eyes. It was staring back at me, looking worried.

"You alright, Mave?" Dani asked me quietly, her hand was on my lap bringing me back to reality.

I nodded.

"Yeah." I said, smiling at her. "Just enjoying the view. If you didn't notice- you're the view by the way."

"You're such an idiot." Dani said, grinning and her cheeks turning even more red.

I love this new effect I have on her. It's amusing to see her being this flustered, and I kind of want to see more of it.

"Hey, what are you doing after this?" I asked Dani while everyone is busy trying to organize another friend gathering at my house for next week.

"Probably doing some homework. The teachers are assigning a shit load of assignments before the break and we're supposed to finish it by next week." She said.

"Want some company?" I asked. "I promise I won't be a distraction. I'll even bring my own homework. I just... I just want to spend time together."

"Oh?" Dani said it with a grin on her face. "Okay, I suppose you can come over."

****

"I keep forgetting that you're a Dubois." I said, pulling in to her grandparent's drive way.

The size of the house surprises me every single time, and it has that Victorian style vibe with all the pillars and terraces outside.

"Unfortunately, I am. I have to carry that name everywhere I go in this town." Dani said while unbuckling her seat belt.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

"My grandparents, they like the idea of our family representing the town. So I kind of have to be perfect all the time."

"Aren't you already?" I joked, while also unbuckling my seat belt.

Dani rolled her eyes and open her door.

"Oh yes, I am a lesbian who goes to a strict catholic high school with highly religious grandparents who happens to be the founders of this heavily religious town." Dani said it with so much disdain in her voice.

"I didn't mean it like that. I was trying to flirt. I guess it backfired." I replied smiling sheepishly.

Dani got out of the car and walked towards the house without another word. I frowned. Did I offend her somehow? I quickly followed her and called her name.

"Dani, wait." I said again, now gripping her arm. "Why do you seem so upset? Did I do something wrong?"

"No, it's not you... I just remembered something. Just bad memories in the past." She said. "I just really can't wait to get out of here. Far away from here."

"Your grandparents aren't that bad." I said.

"They're really not, but this town is going to make me crazy." She said. "I feel like I'm in the closet all over again."

I didn't know what to say. I didn't know Dani felt that way towards Prince Albein.

"To be honest, you're the only person who is making me sane right now Maverick." She said it so softly, and she's staring at me with such intensity that I can't help but pull her in and press my lips to hers.

Dani seemed surprised from my actions, but I held on to her and continued to kiss her passionately. It was as if her lips were burning me, but I couldn't stop. I never knew that I have this hunger towards her until she tried to pull away but my lips followed hers again.

I could feel the corners of her mouth tugging upwards like she was grinning and I somehow pushed her gently against the pillar with my arms on either side of her, trapping her almost.

Dani had to pull away for breath and I did too.

"Maverick." Dani said my name sounding flustered. "That was very bold of you to do that. In front of my grandparent's house too?"

"I wanted to practice." I blurted out stupidly.

"Oh?"

"I just didn't want to make you feel like I was keeping you a secret. I know I shouldn't care if anyone knew about us, but I can't help but to feel that way."

"Mave, it's okay. Didn't we talk about this-"

"I wanted to hold your hand earlier in the cafe today. And I couldn't because I.. just couldn't."

"Hey..."

"It's not fair for you. I hate looking at your pained expression, because I know I caused it. I just need time..."

"Let's go inside, it's getting pretty cold." She whispered. She brought me back to reality by grabbing my hand.

With a nod, I followed her. Dani said that she understood and that it's okay. But I'm really starting to hate myself for letting Dani go through this again.

Maybe I don't deserve her.

Maybe she's better off without me being insecure about our relationship.

Thoughts like that flooded my head, and all I could do was concentrate on how tightly Dani was gripping my hand like she doesn't want to let go.

______

Author's note:

Hey. How long has it been? Remember when wattpad didn't have ads? Those were great times. Anyways, I can quickly come up with excuses like life happened and that's why I haven't been uploading lately (it's been fucking years)

I've just been focusing on my career now, and pretty much becoming an adult. And honestly, it's pretty fucking awesome.

Hope you're doing well,

Jean