"They're still playing Spin the Bottle." Dennis announced when he decided to join me. I was playing Mario Kart by myself, because seeing Dani kiss Natasha triggered something in me that I didn't want to face at the moment.

It made me feel uncomfortable, and I cringed at the thought of them kissing. I realized then that it was me who has a problem with it. I couldn't bear the thought two girls kissing, and I hate myself for thinking that way.

I'm a fucking hypocrite.

I didn't have to give Dennis a reply, because he could already tell that I was upset. So, I continued to play, and drove Baby Daisy through Rainbow Road like a pro. I focused hard so I wouldn't have to deal with falling off a cliff, like my life seems to be heading to right now. I'm not even exaggerating because I genuinely believe that it was the truth.

"Talk to me." Dennis said, and sat himself down beside me on the couch. He threw an arm over my shoulders, and I leaned into him to get comfortable. "You never talk about your problems with me."

"How do you know that I have a problem?" I asked him, almost nonchalantly.

"I need to go to the washroom." He said, while using his fingers to quote what I said when I excused myself from the crowd. "You never came back to us."

"Maybe because people gives me anxiety." I replied.

"Bullshit." He said, and chuckled. "You love people."

"I don't like people who hate me." I replied honestly.

"There would always be someone who would hate you, Mave." Dennis explained. "No matter how hard you try to make them to like you-"

"I don't want to talk about this philosophical nonsense." I cut him off, while running over Mario and flattening him down Rainbow Road. "You're drunk, and I bet this conversation wouldn't even make sense at all."

"Just talk to me, Mave." Dennis said and nudging me. "These past few days, I feel like I don't know you at all."

"That's because I don't either." I replied softly. "Do you know that I'm a horrible person?"

"Yes." Dennis replied.

I hit him on the arm, which made my hand hurt because I didn't expect that his biceps would be that hard.

"No, Dennis. I'm serious. I'm so sick and tired of myself disappointing people."

"You don't have to prove yourself to these people, err whoever we're talking about."

"You don't understand." I sighed. "I kind of do. I'm the bad person, not them. I feel so judgemental, and hypocritical to things that matter the most to me."

"What are we talking about?" Dennis asked, looking all confused. "You're contradicting yourself by saying that my speech didn't make sense but now you're-"

"I like Dani." I blurted out in a low voice while not looking at him. My eyes focused on Rainbow Road as I drove Baby Daisy to her final lap. "I like her a lot. I've kissed her- like... full on make out with her, and she makes me feel things that I shouldn't be feeling because- And I don't even know for sure if I like girls. Maybe I'm gay. Who knows!"

"Oh... my... god..." I heard Dennis breathe out.

"But why do I feel like I'm not okay with being gay? Why do I feel so wrong for feeling this way? It's so frustrating because I want to be happy, and I'm trying to be happy but it seems as if the world hates me- and, and, I just want to go bury myself deep into the depths of hell because I feel like I belong there instead."

When I finally won the race, I put down the wheel controller and turned to look at my best friend.

Dennis had his mouth hanging open in complete and utter shock.

"Maverick, you do know that you just traveled and won first place through Rainbow Road?" Dennis asked, a knowing look on his face.

I looked at him incredulously.

"What does that have to do with-" I started, but then I saw Dennis broke into a wide grin. "Oh my god, why is this so funny?" I asked and chuckled. "This shouldn't be funny."

"We just made an inside joke together." He said.

"Dennis-"

"Your secret is safe with me." He said, and crossed his heart. "Who else knows?"

I sighed, and told him just Natasha and Dani. He raised an eyebrow and looked back to where those two were.

"But Nat don't know about me and Dani." I continued. "She just knows that I might be into girls... which I am- I think. I don't know."

"You know Mave, you just need to relax for a second." He said, and handed me his drink. "Now this is rum and coke."

"Are you telling me to drink?"

"No, I'm telling you that this is rum and coke." He said, and I rolled my eyes at his wit. "I'm simply telling you what kind of drink this is." He defended himself.

"But you want me to drink it."

"Yes." He admitted with a nod. "Maybe it'll help you feel at ease, even for a little bit."

"This is how alcoholics started." I told him with uncertainty. "I don't think I should be drinking."

"Okay, that's fine." He said, and was going to take his drink back but I held on to the red solo cup.

"It's fine, I'll drink it." I said.

"What did you feel when Dani kissed Natasha?" He asked after he watched me drink.

"Conflicted." I replied without missing a beat.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because I feel like my feelings for Dani is more complex than I thought it would be." I replied honestly.

"The kiss Natasha gave you earlier tells us something more." Dennis said.

I looked at him with a deep frown.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"I'm just saying, Nat seems to be more into you than that Marco guy that she can't stop talking about earlier." Dennis said. "And when Dani kissed her, you said you feel conflicted."

"Are you implying what I think you are?" I asked, not liking where this is going.

"If the thought of two girls going after you is appealing, then yes."

"No." I said. "No." I said again.

I stared at Dennis and he was watching my reaction. I took another sip and rubbed my forehead. I heard him laugh, and I slapped his arm hard.

"This is not funny." I said sternly. "Stop it."

"Everyone seems to be gay these days."

I hit him again.

"It's not a bad thing to be, Mave." He said.

"I know it's not."

"You have to realize that the world is genuinely starting to become a more accepting place." He said. "But what if Natasha-"

"Don't." I told him, holding up my index finger to his face, and giving him a warning look.

"Okay fine, I'll stop."

There was a moment of silence between us. And I breathe out a stressful breathe while Dennis can't seem to stop giggling.

"I'm sorry." He said when I gave him another dirty look. "It's just so funny. I guess it makes sense that you never had a boyfriend."

"Dennis, I really don't want to talk about it."

"But you have to!" He said. "I know what it feels like-"

I shut his voice out mentally because I've heard Dani said that phrase a million times.

"I never thought I would say this phrase, but goddamn I need a drink." I said more to myself than to him.

"Rum and coke?" He asked.

"More rum than coke." I answered.

I followed Dennis to the beverage station by the kitchen. When Dennis fixed me my drink, I looked over to Dani, and she was arm wrestling Marco. The crowd was cheering them on, and as if Dani felt my stare on her, she stared right back at me.

It was an indescribable expression on her face. Like she didn't want me to read her. Like she was completely shutting me out, but at the same time she looked like she was figuring me out.

Then, she lost the arm wrestle and looked away.

Natasha on the other hand was staring at Dani and I, masking my expression of wonderment. I gave her a tight lipped smile, and she waved a hand as if asking me to join the circle again.

But I shook my head no.

Natasha frowned, and nodded her head. Maybe Nat feels conflicted like I do. If that's the case, then Dani knew something that both Nat and I can't seem to see.

When Dennis handed me the drink, I immediately sipped on it and grimaced at the taste of strong alcohol.

"How much rum did you put?" I asked.

"Just how you wanted." He replied with an amused expression. "More rum than coke."

I didn't say anything more as I continued to sip my drink. Overtime, I wasn't bothered by the taste anymore. I did feel light headed, and relaxed so I drank more and talked philosophical things with Dennis.

We played Mario Kart together, and we tried to unlock other characters for the game.

Then I felt someone sit beside me.

"Hey." Dani mumbled her greeting.

I blinked at her.

"Hey." I greeted back, and returned my eyes to the screen.

"I think I'm gonna head home soon." She said. "It's getting late, and my grandparents might get worried."

"No, stay." I said, taking my eyes off the screen and looking at her. "Who's going to drive you? Everyone here is drunk."

"Some of our teammates are going to carpool a cab, and I thought I should go-"

"No, Dani stay." I said again, more willingly this time.

I heard Dennis excuse himself saying that he needs to go to the washroom. I mentally rolled my eyes at his getaway.

"I want you stay." I repeated, and held on to her arm.

"Are you sure?" She asked, looking uncertain.

"Yes." I nodded my head.

"I'll sleep on the couch." She said.

"Don't be ridiculous."

"But-"

"You'll sleep in my room with me." I said with a slur. I blinked again and wondered why the ceiling was moving.

"On the floor." She suggested.

"I'm the bed with me." I said.

I saw her look down, and shook her head quickly.

"No." She said. "Gina said she's sleeping over too, right? I don't want to give them ideas about us... because I know how you feel about our situation."

I blinked again, and squinted at her because I wasn't sure if she was really this close to me. I knew that I was drunk, but my god, as I lean closer, I can see how majestic and clear her facial skin is.

"Mave?"

"You're so naturally beautiful." I muttered incoherently.

She chuckled and tucked a loose strand of her blond hair behind her ear. She didn't get them all, so I did it for her.

"How many drinks did you have?" She asked.

"I honestly don't know-" I hiccuped. "Oh, excuse me."

Dani smiled at me and took my drink away.

"Natasha is sleeping over too, right?" Dani asked.

I nodded. "I believe so."

"Okay, well... I know she's your best friend and all. But can you not let her sleep in your bedroom with you?" Dani asked. "I'm sorry... I'm just- never mind."

Dani looked down again, and sighed.

"Dani?" I called out to her, and lifting her chin up with the palm of my hand.

"Yeah?"

"We should go out." I said.

"What?"

"We should date." I said, hiccuping afterwards.

"Maverick you're drunk."

"I'm serious." I whispered. "We should go out on a date, and be together."

"I don't want to talk about this, like this." She replied, but a hint of a smile was on her lips. "You probably don't know what you're saying right now."

I looked over my shoulder to check on everyone, but they were too busy playing Cards Against Humanity combined with Truth or Dare.

Then I quickly stole a kiss on Dani's lips.

Goddamn, why did I think this feels wrong? This is not wrong.

I gave her another quick peck on the lips. I frowned and took hold on Dani's shoulders and stared at her.

"This feels right." I told her. "This is right. Not wrong."

Dani ran her hand through my hair affectionately and chuckled.

"You're so wasted." She said, and smiled at me. Her face was so flustered and I held on to it and caressed her. "Oh my god what are you doing?" By this point, Dani was laughing hysterically at my actions.

I was being weird, but I really wanted to get close to her. So, I laid my head on her lap, and just stared at her.

I was saying something about how sorry I am, but Dani was shushing me. Eventually I just closed my eyes and felt her breathing.

It matches mine, and I became comfortable. I knew that I was going to fall asleep soon, because my eyelids felt heavy and I couldn't open my eyes anymore.

I eventually gave up, and just buried my head on Dani's lap. I felt her warmth around me, and I was so okay with this.

"It's okay." I mumbled. "This is okay. Everything is okay."

I knew she kissed my forehead, and whispered,

"You're definitely right."

AN:

That awkward moment when someone on Her liked me, and message me, but then I didn't reply because I'm too shy. Then, I see them walk in to my work and I have to talk to them.

It's so awkward.

Unedited.