Jen couldn't believe Alex was there, and she whisked him in. After the day she had, she didn't need anyone to see him with her.

All he could think was she looked beautiful. Finally, she spoke first, "You're here."

"I hope you don't mind, but I needed to see you after... after Kristi's. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you. I should have trusted you. It's just I've been burnt before." She nodded. "It was a long time ago, but it almost ruined people I love."

"I know."

"You know? Tom?"

"Yes, and I understand. I know that if that wasn't in your past things between us would have..."

"Would have progressed. I know what you experienced in your marriage was hard, but none of it was your fault. He had a secret to hide and did it well. I saw pictures and never noticed."

"No one did really. You came all this way to say you're sorry."

He reached for her hand and she let him, feeling the shock pulse through her body. "I came because I can't stop thinking about you. I know you're not divorced yet, but we can be discrete. I know we live in different states, but we have to try. I can't see the future. I only see now and right now we deserve to give us a chance."

He pulled her into an embrace and smelled her hair. He tilted her chin up, and she had tears. He gently wiped them with his finger.

"I never thought I'd ever feel you hold me. I've waited so long for it," she said.

"How long?"

"I don't know. I remember the first time I went to your house. I was following you downstairs after your shower. You smelled so good and I wanted to run my fingers through your damp hair." She lifted her hand to touch his hair.

"If you did that you would have ended up in my bed." He slowly gently kissed her. There was no urgency just enough to taste each other. "That I've wanted to do for longer than I care to admit."

"Just like that?"

"Like this too."

He kissed her again, but this time he pressed harder and parted her lips with his tongue and she responded by meeting every demand his mouth made. Her knees were weak, and she leaned into him to stay upright. He held her tighter, closer. Finally parting, he said, "That was better than anything I imagined."

"I need to sit down."

Looking around he said, "This place is nice. It's your work isn't it."

"Yes, I did it for Avery back when she moved out of our apartment. It was before we started Dixon Design. That was a long time ago though. I was still learning, not that I would change much today." She was rambling.

"You told me you didn't like your apartment. Why did you design your home in a way that wasn't pleasing to you?" He wanted to understand her.

"Because for a long time, I didn't know who I was. I knew how to do my job and do it well, but I was always pleasing others at my own expense."

"When did you start to change?"

"Last summer when I stayed in the Hamptons. I did things I knew would upset Sterling. They were things that Jen liked to do and he felt Jennifer shouldn't do." She knew she would tell him anything he asked. She wanted him to know her so when the inevitable happened it would be pure and without secrets.

"What do you mean Jen, not Jennifer?"

Sydney always called her Jennifer, but everyone else called her Jen, except Rick.

"Professionally I'm always Jennifer. Sterling refused to call me anything but since the day we met. Avery defied him by calling me Jen, but then again she calls him Ster, which he hates. Inside I am Jen, except when I'm Jenny. You called me Jenny once." she smiled.

"Did I?" He smiled back teasing. "Did you like it?"

"I did, but I wouldn't want to be called that all the time. I like Jen best, Alexander."

They had been sitting close, but not touching. Her legs were tucked up under her. He reached out and took her hand. "Okay Jen, what did you do last summer."

"I taught the neighbor's son how to ride the waves on his boogie board." She smiled at the memory.

"You did. I didn't see you going in the water last weekend."

"No, only you were foolish enough to do that in May."

"I had too. I had sand all over me. I noticed you didn't mind seeing me all wet and freezing."

"You could tell I was watching you?"

"I knew. Just like I was watching you. You made me feel jealous." He caressed her hand with his.

"Why?"

"Megan's brother. I had no idea who he was, and you were hugging him when you were leaving."

"Oh, I guess that looked bad. I hadn't seen him since Megan's wedding. Well, you know the first one."

She had a text. "It's Avery... Are you ok?... yes... oops..."

"What did she ask?"

He tried to grab her phone, but he pinned her. He brought his mouth to hers and kissed her with passion. She responded to his kiss by wrapping her arms around him. He moved from her lips to her jawline leaving kisses down her neck. She was on fire every touch and kiss made her nerve endings feel like they were on top of her skin.

Alex didn't know what she wanted. He didn't want to pressure her and was looking for a sign. He reached under her shirt just to feel her smooth skin on the small of her back. He looked into her eyes. "What did Avery say?"

"She wants to know if we've..."

"Oh, and what do you want to tell her?"

"Yes. I want to say yes."

If she had any more words, he stopped them with his mouth. Breaking away he said, "Jenny."

She let him lift her shirt to reveal her stomach and bra. He started at her belly button and kissed his way up to the swells of her breast peeking out of the lace cups. Pulling back the lace he released one of her breasts and cupped it. He was gentle without kneading, and he ran his finger over her nipple without pulling and twisting it. She knew he was experienced and was ready to enjoy that expertise.

"Come on." She led him into her bedroom. He was acutely aware of the most amazing thought. This, if he had his way, would be his last first time ever. He hoped he would never be with another woman, but Jen. Somehow they had to make it work.

She climbed onto the bed wearing only her underthings and watched as he took off his pants and shirt leaving on only his bulging boxer briefs. Laying next to her she reached over and touched him. "Keep that up and I won't be able to go slow."

"I don't want slow. There will be time for that. I want you now."

He honored her wishes and in return after they were through, she, without knowing, honored his fantasy by having her long legs tangled up with his and her head on his shoulder. Neither spoke for a long time, Alex could think of a lot of things to say like, that was amazing, you're incredible, but that was not what he was feeling. What he wanted to say was, I love you. He knew that love was something you felt like a driving force, not something you want to do. He felt that force and wanted to savor the feeling.

She spoke first. "I hated not talking to you this week."

"I had so much I wanted to talk to you about. I listed my house."

"You did."

"Yes, it was never what I wanted. Your father told me today that house might definitely become available." He shared his news with her.

"That's wonderful. I'll design it for you."

"No, I want you to design it for you because there's no way you won't be spending time there."

"We're jumping ahead too fast. Let's just enjoy being here now." He loosened his hold on her. She looked up at him and saw he looked sad. "I'm not like Julia. I just can't deal with the distance issue yet. I'm still in the middle of ending a marriage. Today was crazy. The press release resulted in a ton of phone calls. Mostly people wanting to make sure we were alright."

"We need to focus on here and now. Right now I'm starving."

Jen jumped up. "There's Chinese food." She slipped on her tee shirt, panties and the same pants and went to look in the fridge. "This is more than left over. I think Avery got this just for us."

"We can thank her. Are you going to answer her question?"

He had followed her into the kitchen wearing his pants still undone. "I need my bag from Tom's because I'm not leaving you until I have to on Sunday." He wrapped his arms around her from behind. "Being with you is better than I dreamed."

She turned into his arms and reached up to kiss him. She had experienced nothing like it. She knew now that something was always lacking with Sterling, but her experience had been limited. Never had she longed for anyone like she had Alex and never had she been with such an experienced lover.

She heated the food, and they sat down together. Suddenly she was starving. "You hardly ever eat. I wasn't sure you did."

She looked at him. "I couldn't eat around you, my stomach was always in knots. I hardly ate this week. I was such a wreck."

"I was too. Then I got your picture and saw the detail and care that went into it and knew."

"Knew what?"

"That I couldn't let you walk away. That you felt as much for me as I felt for you."

"What are we going to do?"

"We will have to take turns on weekends and talk during the week until..."

"Until?"

"Until we can't do it any longer and we have to find another way."

"But I'm not divorced. What will people think?"

"People don't need to know. We can hide inside here and you can hide at Higgins with me for now."

"A secret?"

"Until it's safe. He could ruin me."

"No, he couldn't because I can ruin him more. His parents don't know the truth about him for one and two, I am Dixon Design. Sure his boy is handling clients, but he doesn't have my experience and portfolio. If I walked Sterling would lose a lot of income. It would be like when we first started."

He liked that she had the upper hand, but he secretly wished she would come back home. It was too soon to worry he told himself, much too soon. For now, he would savor their time together.

Avery texted, Put clothes on. Coming up. Laughing, she showed Alex who went to get his shirt. When he returned the fly to his pants was as it should be. They were both barefoot. The fantasy she had a week ago had come true.

When Avery and Tom came in Jen was cleaning up from their meal. Alex was putting the leftovers away.

Avery said, "You both look happy!"

Tom said, "Here are your things."

Jen asked, "When did you find out he was coming?"

"Wednesday."

She looked at Alex who said, "I decided the minute I opened the drawing."

"So." Avery asked, "What does this mean?"

Jen said, "Frequent flyer miles and nightly phone calls is all we can do for now."

"Should we leave?" Tom asked.

"No, you can stay." Jen said, "It's your apartment, Avery."

The four talked for a while, but then each couple was ready to be alone. Jen had never slept like she did in Alex's arms. Not that they went to sleep early. They were busy getting to know each other intimately.

Jen woke first which surprised her since Alex typically started every day early. She slid out of bed without waking him and put her same clothes on. She was making coffee when Tom appeared.

"You're up early," she whispered.

"I have a lot of work on my mind."

"You can work extra next week. Av will be away."

"You're not going to hurt him are you?"

"No. I care deeply about him."

"What about Sterling? What if he wants you back?"

"I'm never going back to him. Did Avery really not tell you about what destroyed my marriage?"

"No, she wouldn't."

"I promise you whatever happens between me and Alex, I will not go back to Sterling. You can ask either Avery or Alex the details. I don't care to talk about it. Okay?"

"You two look serious." Alex said as he appeared wearing sports shorts and a tee shirt.

"No, just serious about our coffee." Jen poured Alex a cup and watched as he tasted it.

"How do you make coffee as good as your father?"

"I'm using the same coffee and I know how to make it." She smiled and added, "Good morning."

Alex pulled her into his arms, and Tom said, "Should I leave?"

"I've suffered with you and Av for weeks."

"I had to put up with you last weekend too." Tom pulled out some muffins that Avery had picked up.

"What are you two going to do today?" Tom asked.

"Nothing. We can't be seen in public together."

"You'd better keep this from mom and Kate," Tom said.

"I know," Alex said, holding Jen closer as if to say I'm never letting you go.