《Fate Mate》Chapter 46
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The next thing I knew, I was in Nolan's arms. I'd joined him on the ground between the bed and the door and wrapped my arms around his neck. His head was bowed, tears freely flowing onto the hands he'd clasped onto the blanket that now pooled around his waist and hips. But as soon as I threw myself on him, he reacted.
His arms wrapped around my back, encapsulating my small frame against him. The scent of pine and peppermint stretched over my every sense, and every inhale of him numbed the soreness stretching through my abdomen.
"Charlotte," Nolan rasped, burying his face in the crook of my neck. His tears soaked through the thin fabric of my nightgown.
I laced my fingers through the crown of dark curls atop his head, savoring the silken sensation of him beneath my fingertips. "I'm here," I whispered, my lips brushing his ear. "I'm really here."
His embrace tightened, drawing me closer to his body until I was hoisted onto his lap. Our bodies lined up in perfect synchrony. His heart thrummed against my own, like a steady thunderclap that steadied the unreliable fluttering inside my chest.
"I thought I'd lost you," Nolan said, his voice barely above a whisper. My chest throbbed at the pain in his words. "You died. You died in my arms."
I squeezed my eyes shut at the memory of my death-- the sound of his panicked voice as he tried to stop the bleeding, the peacefulness that settled over me. Guilt raked its talons across my chest. "I-I always planned on coming back to you. I just needed you to believe I had gone..."
The muscles beneath Nolan's shoulders tensed, but he did not pull away. Instead, his fingers started rubbing circles around my shoulder blades, tracing patterns down back. He was quiet for several long moments before finally murmuring against my skin, "I know. Angelina explained it all to me."
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"Are you angry?" I wasn't sure if I wanted to know the answer to the question.
"Angry that you made a choice to save our pack from slaughter? No, of course not." He pressed his lips to my neck, and my skin burned to liquid beneath his touch. "And I understand why you didn't tell me."
"I wish there had been another way." My words were the truth. If there had been another option, I wouldn't have ever put him through that. Not after watching so many others perish, as well.
"Me too," Nolan murmured, and he finally pulled back to rest his forehead against my own.
I opened my eyes to find him already staring at me. There was such sadness pooling in his blue orbs—so much loss. I frowned. "Nolan... is S-Sophia really...?"
He looked down again, and his throat bobbed once. "Yes. It was over quickly."
I'd known the truth. I knew she'd died on the battlefield. But hearing Nolan's confirmation still hurt like a punch to the gut. Sophia, who had been my friend when I first arrived at the Black Lupis Pack and had no one else. Sophia, who could make me laugh when I wanted most to cry. Sophia, who still had so much life left to live. And there were so many others that died alongside her.
"We held a funeral four days ago for everyone that we lost," Nolan informed me.
I nodded. Of course, they wanted to lay the dead to rest, but a sharp pang pierced my chest as I realized I'd missed the funeral. My packmates and friends, rogues, and witches—they'd given their lives for me. And I hadn't even been able to pay my respects at their funeral. My bottom lip trembled, and Nolan's thumb traced my cheek.
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"A-And Dominic?" I asked after several moments.
"He's gone to collect more rogues for the cause. In case the hybrids come back sooner than we expect." Nolan's voice was grim. He sounded wary, like the past few weeks had worn him to the bone. "I can call him, if you'd like?"
I shook my head. "Later. For now, I just want to be here."
We stayed like that for what could have been an hour. Nolan held me against his bare chest, fingers tracing lines across my shoulders and back and neck as if he couldn't quite believe that I was real. As if I might disappear as soon as he stopped touching me. Perhaps I hadn't returned to the world of the living after all. Perhaps I was in the sweetest corner of the afterlife.
"I love you, Charlie," Nolan murmured, and the surety of his words reminded me that this was not heaven. This was real. He pulled back, just enough to look directly down into my eyes, and there was a newfound intensity in his gaze. I opened my mouth to swear my own affection, but he continued before I had the chance.
"I love you. And, when you had... gone," Nolan shuddered, as if even just the thought of my death tortured him, "I cursed myself for wasting the little time that I'd been given with you."
I understood. He had been so concerned with protecting me from the hybrids and keeping me a secret that he'd pushed me away. We had no chance to be mates—not really. Not in the ways that mattered. Still, I found myself stroking his cheek. "You were only doing what you thought was best..."
"I was a fool," he answered, shaking his head. Shame leaked into the corners of his eyes. "But I'll be damned if I waste another moment of our time together."
It felt like a thousand butterflies were released in the cavern of my chest, and my breath caught in my throat. Did I dare let myself hope? "W-what do you mean?"
"I want you, Charlie. I need you, in every sense of the word," he breathed the words, and I thought I detected physical pain in his voice. "And, hybrids be damned, you're mine and I am yours. And I want the entire world to know that."
My heart leapt into my throat as he spoke. I'd long since given up hope that he would ever mark me while the hybrids still existed—that he would ever take me as his mate in the purest form. He'd never risk exposing our true bond to the world. And yet...
"You want me?" I whispered, lips trembling.
"More than life itself," he swore, and I believed him. "And I want to do it right. With the mating ceremony in front of the pack—our pack—first. Then alone, in front of the Moon Goddess, again and again."
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