I WASN'T sure what I had expected, but over the past week, it wasn't what happened. And that was a big nothing.

Nothing happened.

There were no more secret visits.

No texts. No calls. Nothing.

This time, I'm hundred percent sure that this thing between us ended after that night in my room where I slept in his arms only to find out he was gone when I woke up. I'm okay. Or I would be. I would be. I would be. I was going to keep repeating that mantra to myself until it was true. I'd just deal, but until then, I couldn't stop anything, not even to prevent further heartbreak in the future. It wouldn't matter. I'd crumble now, so, yeah. For the most part, I was doing better. But that was because Owen was there. My best friend knew how to keep me distracted. I pushed away my emotions as best I could even though it had been a struggle when Arabella practically told anyone who has ears about her wedding and honeymoon plans with Kade that makes the entire school buzzing for the whole week.

The few times I crossed paths with her in school, she has this smug look on her face as if I'm a dirt beneath her shoe. It didn't take long before she goes back to her old habits, which is to find her next prey. Arabella is a spoilt deceptive bully, I have experienced it firsthand over the years and I'd learned to ignore her and stayed away from her as much as I can.

In the middle of the following week, I was checking my emails on the way home from school. I'd finally, after weeks of sending out applications for hours every day, found a job. As a hostess at Outback. Yuck. But it can pay. Not much, but something. It's close to the university and a few blocks from my apartment. Also, the schedule that they offer is flexible for students like me. Although my heart is breaking piece by piece as the day of their wedding comes close, I tried to focus my mind on the things that matter and that day, I feel like my life is back on track.

But I guess I became complacent. I should've seen it coming. I should've known it was just a hopeless dream.

~~~

I'D NEVER FELT the kind of anger before as I glared at the laptop screen, at the entire page that announced my engagement to Derek. My mind is racing and my hands were shaking as I braced them on my desk, sweat beading my brow, my throat tight and my mouth dry. I blinked several times, my vision faded in and out, and I finally sat back on the bed, not sure what to do next.

God, I couldn't even breathe as I lifted my hand and started rubbing the center of my chest. It feels like the air has been sucked out of the room and walls are closing in. Not only had my father sprung this engagement on me without my consent, he now announced it to the entire world, because he's assuming I will concede. I don't think it's crossed his mind what I want. Don't think he's considered the fact that while it may benefit his—our—family, it would taken me off the course I'd set for myself years ago.

I wanted to cry, scream, and destroy the room. I heard the distant sound of my phone ringing. It must be Owen. He knew just how devastated I would be right now. Because this is unfair. Everything is.

With rage throbbing in my veins, I stormed to the door and wrenched it open, only stopping until I'm outside his office. What pisses me off more is, he look like he was expecting me as soon as I barged inside.

"How can you do this?" I whispered, meaning to say the words louder but I felt like I was in such shock.

My father's mouth flattened, and he regarded me as if a mosquito had been in his eye. "I'm doing you a favor."

"I will not marry him." I said through gritted teeth.

He shrugs his shoulders and leans back in his seat. "You know we need to do this. It's for everyone's benefit."

"You mean for your benefit. How will it benefit me?"

"That doesn't matter. You have a duty, just like I do. Just like every Van Horen." He leans forward, setting his elbows on the desk and steepling his fingers. "You know family strengthens bonds."

I shook my head even though I knew what he said was true.

"And with those bonds comes alliances. Power." He reach over and pours himself a drink. "And you know damn well I'd stop at nothing until I get it." His words were calm, but the threat was a punch to my face. His sucker punch to me.

There was the Dorian Van Horen's ruthlessness. I'd seen it enough, experienced it enough, but I'd never had so much to lose because of it. His phone dings and he reaches into his pocket. I can see what he reads pisses him off and he points his finger to the door and just like that, I was dismissed.

I stepped out of the room, feeling deflated as ever. The monologue in my head lost its ferocity. My self-absorbed determination to leave my life behind became more weak. My palm clutches my heart as sweat breaks over my brows. My nails dig into my chest over my pants and with every step I take, a weight crushes my chest. My breathing becomes irregular, too. A sliver of panic lodges deep within.

"Let me guess, you begged father to cancel your engagement?"Arabella's voice floats over me.

I stopped in my tracks and face her. She smirked as she sat on one of the barstools at the kitchen island. "Yeah, that's right." She folded her arms on the counter and leaned forward. "I actually don't like it that he had to announce it a few days before my own wedding. But anyway, you thought a petty scholarship will get you out of here?"

I could feel my blood boil at hearing her words.

"You're stuck, Ayla," She continued before taking a sip of her orange juice. "There's no way out for you. At least I have Kade." She shrugs, looking smug as ever.

My body vibrated with fury. My lungs squeezed, and before I knew what I was doing, every nerve and cell in me urged me to lunge across the table and throw the damn drink at her freshly done face. Her loud shrieks fills the room and soon the helpers rushes to the room in frantic. But I was already exiting the living room before she can retaliate. And I knew she will. But I didn't care. I stepped out of the house knowing that this was not how my life was going to be.

I was not going to fold over. I was not going to be a pawn in some of my father's move. I wouldn't let my life be dictated by him. Whatever the outcome or consequences of my decisions may be, I was sticking with them. Because the alternative was not an option.