Elijah's POV:

The first thing that I heard was silence. It was a silence that stretched through time, wrapping around my heart, and threatening to break the ounce of resolve that I had mustered up.

I could do this.

Part of me was still in shock that I had answered, but my mother's words had been courage I hadn't known I needed.

I had always known that she hadn't blamed me for Carter's death. But I could no longer run from the possibility that my dad did. If he was finally calling to say so, then I would be okay.

Rowan had taught me that.

"Elijah..." My dad trailed off, but the surprise was clear in the single word that he had uttered. He took a heavy breath and the sound of shuffling floated across the receiver. "How are you?"

I said nothing at first, the pressure that always lingered at the back of my eyelids whenever I thought of him rising quickly. Everything in me wanted to not answer. To hang up the phone, and to pretend as if he had never called.

But I knew that the time had been passed for me to hear it out. The last few weeks had been filled with regrets I knew that I would never be able to take back. Each time that I saw Rowan I was only reminded of it further.

Now as I thought of her, wishing for her reassuring smiles, and her calming presence there was only one thing going through my mind.

I didn't want this to be another regret. Not a single day had gone by with the fact that she wasn't becoming easier. Maybe it was hypocritical for me to even feel this way, knowing that I had caused my pain. That I had caused her pain.

I needed to mend my mistake. I needed to claim her and let her know that what she felt wasn't irrational. That what we had was real. I just hoped that it wasn't too late.

God, I wished that she was here.

"Are you still their son?"

I nodded, before realizing that he couldn't see me. "Yeah, I am. I am alright."

"That's good to hear."

Another wave of tension-filled silence sliced through the air.

I shook my head, gripping the door handle of my car, and getting it. I closed my eyes, leaning my head against the seat ret. My fingers clenched into fists as I momentarily contemplated why I had answered.

Could I do this?

"How are you?"

"I am okay," There was a pause, the surprise in his voice ringing through the air as if he hadn't expected me to ask. "I have been was calling to let you know that I am moving back to Oregon."

I opened my eyes, not having expected to hear that. I wasn't sure how to think about it. Part of me believed that it was years too late. I was an adult now, and I was no longer living at home. The fact brought water to my eye, and I shook my head, before swiping my hand across the back of them.

"That's good." I cleared my throat, my voice way too hoarse. "What made you decide to do that?"

"The firm merged with another one back here...and it was time for me to come back." I nodded, not really knowing what to say.

"Is everything going well for you guys?"

"Yeah, it actually is." He laughed, and I could practically see him at his desk, his hands folded. Just like he used to do when I was younger. Except usually he wouldn't have been talking to me. He would have been too preoccupied with work. "But Elijah that isn't really what I have been calling about."

I clenched my jaw, taking a deep breath and preparing myself for what he would say. There was no turning back now. There was obviously something that he had been wanting to say and I couldn't run anymore. So I was ready. I was ready for him to ask me why it had all happened. To ask for why I was here and Carter wasn't.

I was ready.

I would not break.

"Elijah I am so sorry for leaving." I glanced up, my grip tightening around my phone, as I swallowed. "For leaving your mother. For leaving you." I swallowed, blinking my eye rapidly. "Especially when we needed each other most. When we needed to be a family the most."

"Why did you?"

He was right. I had needed him, yet he couldn't even look me in the eyes after what had happened.

There was a long and looming silence before he took a breath.

"I was ashamed. Seeing you in that hospital bed fighting for your life, and knowing that I never showed you the love you deserved filled me with guilt that I couldn't handle." My throat constricted. "I wasn't running from you or your mother Elijah. I didn't blame you."

Sometimes it was okay to break.

"I was running from myself."