A steady whirling hum pulsed around me as my eyes trained above me, my body unmoving in the circular chamber.

"Just a few more minutes Rowan and then the scan will be complete," a voice echoed from around me.

I didn't move or acknowledge that I had heard, however, knowing that even a slight movement could mess up the process.

It had been three days since the doctors had released me from the hospital, and I was back for a brain scan. Hopefully, it provided answers, but I had a feeling that wishful thinking was futile. It hadn't been useful in the past, so why would it be now? Nobody knew why my memory had come back so suddenly, and nobody could provide answers to why there was one thing, one person, that I couldn't remember.

I shut my eyes, willing my body to relax as my mind went back to that day at the hospital. Even though my mind came up blank every time I tried to conjure up a memory, there was a part of my heart that ached all the same.

I hadn't been able to remove from my mind the pain that had lain suspended in the eyes of the person who had been in my room when I had awoken. This time it wasn't something minuscule that I had forgotten, and I was hurting yet another person.

I pried my eyes open when the steady sound of the scanner died down, leaving me feeling hollow and scrubbed bare. My body moved, like the bed that I was lying on, slid out of the circular contraption. I squinted my eyes as a blue light flashed in them and I shifted my head away from the ceiling.

The click of shoes on tile caused my gaze to shift to the metal doors that enclosed my body from the outside was Doctor Anderson, pushing through them, a few seconds later and reaching a hand.

"Don't move just yet. I don't want you to get dizzy."

I nodded, not saying anything, and a sigh left her lips. "Rowan, are you okay? You have barely said anything all day."

How did I answer that. When I would be lying if I said I was.

"I am okay."

She moved around the scanner, sidling up to the side I was facing and giving me a hand. Slowly I sat up, a short wave of dizziness washing over me, but disappearing as quickly as it came.

"That is why I know you aren't," she uttered softly. "Because you shouldn't be. I know this is hard."

I grabbed the edge of the bed, staring at my legs, as something stirred within me. When I looked at her, I was sure that my thoughts voiced themselves in my expression.

"If I can remember everything then why do I feel so empty?"

Her face fell. I had barely taken in another shaky breath when she wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into a hug.

"Were he and I really together?" I asked, my words muffled on her shoulder. She pulled back, her eyes swimming with unspoken emotion, as she looked at me. "It's okay," I whispered. "You can tell me the truth."

She nodded, and a calculating look formed in her eyes as if she was trying to figure out the correct words to say. With a deep breath, she folded her hands in front of her, sitting on the chair that was near my bedside.

"Yes, you were." The words were almost too low for me to hear, but as soon as she said it I felt as if she had reached out and punched me in the stomach. I sucked in a breath, a stray tear escaping as a burning sensation pricked at the back of my eyes.

"Then why can't I remember? If it was that strong, that important why can't I?"

Her face fell and she shook her head. "Do you remember when I said that you might have had trouble with your memory in the first place due to an emotional blockage?" I nodded. "Sweetheart this might be the same thing. For some reason, your brain is shutting down when it gets overwhelmed."

My shoulders fell.

"Sorry," I said when she sent me an empathetic look."It is just so confusing," I said, wiping my eyes on the sleeve of my shirt. "I went home the other day, and I think his stuff was everywhere." I shook my head, my throat constricting as I remembered how it had felt to walk inside my house that day.

"It's okay to cry, Rowan. I know this all has to be overwhelming." Doctor Anderson rolled her chair closer, and I lifted my chin, trying to will myself to stop crying. "I wish we had more answers. You don't deserve this. Neither one of you does."

"Is it crazy that even though my brain doesn't remember him, my body seems to?" My words cut through the air, threatening to destroy the ounce of dignity I had collected. "I went to sleep the other day, and my sheets don't smell like me." I paused as my voice came out small, clearing my throat. "It physically hurt," I breathed.

I looked up, my gaze clashing with hers, and my chest tightened when she wiped a hand underneath her eye. "It isn't crazy, Rowan. He came with you to an appointment one day."

"He did?"

She nodded, and I held my breath, waiting for her to finish what she was going to say.

"He did, and all I can say is that he loved you." She smiled, her eyes heavy as she spoke. "I haven't seen a person look at anyone the way he looked at you."

I wrang my hands together as she spoke, pulling at my brain in desperation to remember just a second of what she was talking about. Like every other time, my mind came up blank, and within me something terrible coiled.

"And Rowan."

I glanced up, everything blurring as a fresh wave of tears arose.

"You were the happiest I had ever seen you before." Her eyes trained on her hand, and she touched her ring finger lightly as if touching the band of a ring that wasn't there. "When I saw you guys, it made me think I had hope. What you guys had was the type of thing that inspires others. The type of love that people write stories about."

She fiddled with her ring finger.

"If it was that strong, then why don't I remember him?" I asked, the question sounding more like a pleading cry. "I want to be happy now that I can make memories," I said with a disbelieving laugh. "But for some reason, I feel like there is a part of me missing."

"I can't answer that question, Rowan, because I don't know." I looked at the ground, her words wrapping around my brain and confining me in a place that I didn't want to go. "But I can tell you, that if you are going to remember him, then you have to want to remember."

"What do you mean?"

"Sometimes it is your heart that outweighs your brain, Rowan. Even if you don't remember him now if you want you can find your way back to each other."

I sighed, my shoulders sagging and my head beginning to feel the toll of the exhaustion that even sleeps couldn't cure. I understood what she was saying, but I couldn't bring myself to believe in the hope that coated her tone.

Why would I wish for love, when I'm so obviously fated against it?

It wasn't until I glanced up, spotting lingering tears in her eyes that I realized I'd spoken out loud.

"Darling you are not fated against it. She whispered, her voice raspy as she shook her head. "It's all in here," she said, poking me lightly on my chest. "You aren't strangers in there." She sat back down, crossing her arms over her chest, the sleeves of her white coat wrinkling underneath the weight. "It's heart over matter, Rowan. Your memory plays but a tiny role."

----------

Pushing the door to my apartment, open, I splayed my hand out along the wall, trying to find the light switch, as I continued forward into the darkness. At the same time that my hand found the switch, my foot snagged on a heavy object, causing my body to lurch.

"Oh, sorry. I knew I should have placed that elsewhere," came a light voice. When I glanced up after catching myseIf, I found bleary eyes Skylar, sitting up on the couch. A sleepy yawn left her lips as she stretcheed. She adjusted the black sweatshirt she was wearing, before rubbing her eyes.

"I didn't mean to wake you," I apologized, before looking curiously at the bag on the floor in front of me. I didn't recognize it and hadn't remembered it being there when I had left.

"Is this yours?" I asked, picking it up. As soon as I did, a white label flashed itself at me, and I nearly dropped the bag, the name of the owner imprinting on my mind.

"I thought he would be over to get it before you got home," Skylar said, breaking through the silent torment of my thoughts. "He left it to hear that night." She trailed off when my eyes shifted to her. I knew exactly which night she was referring to. The night that I ended up in the hospital.

Despite the flutter in my chest, I kept my voice steady and my face impassive. "What time is he coming to get it?" I asked, glancing at the clock, a familiar tingle starting in my fingers, as the nerves got the best of me.

I whirled around, heading towards the kitchen, and pulled open the cabinet under the sink. I skimmed my eyes across the contents hurriedly before spotting what I was looking for. I grabbed the bottle of cleaning solution triumphantly, looking at the clock again, before spraying the counters and getting to work.

"Rowan, what are you doing?"

"I am cleaning," I said, not looking up. With a deep breath and a split's second decision, I turned to her. "If you want to go back to sleep, you can. I think I can handle giving it back to him."

Concern flitted in her eyes, succumbing to apprehension, as she stared at me. Her blonde strands haloed around her head, and she smoothed them down, opening her mouth before closing it.

"What?"

She shook her head her lips pressing into a thin line before she took a deep breath. "Do you think that is a good idea?"

"For me to give him his bag back?"

"For you to do it alone."

I placed the spray bottle down, crumpling the paper towel that I was holding in my hand. Unzipping my navy blue coat and pulling it off, I leaned against the counter and shook my head.

"I don't know," I breathed. "Doctor Anderson said that they do not understand why I remember everything but, I think I want to try to. I don't think that anything worse could happen. I don't know what it is, but somehow I know Elijah had meant a lot to me. I feel like I owe it to him, and to myself to try."

She nodded slowly, pulling her hair up into a ponytail on top of her head.

"Do you think you can help me try to remember?"

With a huff, Skylar's mouth twitched, before forming into a full smile as her eyes crinkled at the corners. "Oh honey, you don't even have to ask. For a minute I thought you would not try."

"I wasn't sure either, but I was reminded that I shouldn't quit. I was able to keep a memory of him faster than I ever had with anyone else, right?" Her golden hair swished to the side as she bobbed her head up and down, answering my question. "Then I should remember him in no time."

Not a single hint of apprehension was in her features as she grinned at me. "That is the spirit. Now, what can I do to help?"

"Well, I was told that the best thing for me is to hear about him, so I guess storytelling?" I paused, biting my lip as I thought about the question some more. "Do you know how we met?"

Skylar's eyes lit up as soon as the question left my mouth. I was wondering if she had heard me correctly as she cantered past me, swinging the door to the pantry open. I watched her, dumbfounded and unsure what she was doing until she reemerged with a box of microwave popcorn.

"Skylar?"

She glanced at me from over her shoulder, her mouth still set in an excited smile, and hummed.

"Yes?"

"Do you know how we met?"

I repeated, not sure if she hadn't heard the question or hadn't wanted to answer. I determined it must have been neither as her cheeks dimpled and her smile grew. "Yes, but if we are going to do this, we need popcorn first. We are having a full intervention. Operation Remember Elijah, two-point zero, is a go."

With that, she pivoted on her heels, the sound of the microwave shutting, cutting through the air with a loud click. I waited, silently racking my brain for an idea of how Elijah and I might have met. Part of me hoped that it wasn't something embarrassing that happened, but knowing myself, I knew it wasn't far-fetched.

I continued to create scenarios in my mind, as Skylar grabbed the bag of popped popcorn out of the microwave a few moments later, and placed it into a bowl. When she was finished, I was more than a little anxious as I followed her out into the living room and sat on the couch beside her.

"So?" I intoned slowly, feeling nervous suddenly. "How did I meet Elijah? I hope it wasn't anything too crazy," I chuckled, twisting the fingers of my right hand together and interlocking them in gesticulation.

"Oh, of course not." Skylar waved her hand, dismissing my statement, and I let out a breath of relief.

"Okay. That is a relief to hear. For a minute-"

"You simply almost killed the poor guy."

I paused, my words getting stuck in my throat as she beamed at me as if she hadn't just told me that there was a possibility that I should be a convicted felon. She nodded eagerly, grabbing a handful of popcorn and bringing it to her lips. Skylar chewed ever so slowly, her eyes never leaving me as if she was assessing my reaction.

"Skylar, you are going to have to give me more," I articulated. "What do you mean I almost killed him?" She finished chewing, holding up her hand for me to wait. I had internalized the idea that I had become an ax murderer, and Elijah was just some crazy dude attracted to chicks who tried to kill him when she finally spoke.

"Honestly Rowan, it is nothing to get worked about. You just almost ran him over with your car."