Cars.

Broken glass.

Screaming.

Everything was hazy as I came to again, but I was barely aware, my mind detached from my body, and my head aching. I peered into spheres of golden glass, fear suspended in them.

"Rowan." I closed my eyes, unable to hold them open anymore. "No, no, no. Love, stay awake." I felt his hands cradle my head gently, but it felt as if he was miles away.

I winced, the words ringing in my ears, and my vision shrouding itself in darkness again. I was only faintly able to see that Elijah was holding a phone to his ear, but the words he was saying were incomprehensible.

 The familiar movie was playing in my head, and the screaming was back.

"Make it stop," I pleaded. 

But I knew he couldn't hear me. Not when I couldn't even hear myself over the roaring in my ears. 

And it didn't stop. It never did.

A car running a stop sign.

My dad smiling at me.

Darkness.

-----------

I gasped for air, my eyes flying open, as I jolted awake. Fear laced through me as I gazed around the dimly lit room, taking in the bare walls. I took a deep breath, my lungs heavy as I inhaled the dry air. I raised my arm, noticing the IV drip that was attached to it, and the steady beeping sound that had filled the room quickened un pace.

There was one person that I was desperate to see. I needed to know that he knew we were okay. That we would get through everything.

Just as I started to panic, the door to the room creaked open, and a familiar face peeked through. Skylar's eyes widened as she ran to me, her face changing from calculated caution to shock.

 "Rowan, you're okay," she exclaimed. I winced when she threw herself around me, her body shaking. Skylar pulled back and looked at me, a pained expression in her eyes.

"Elijah and I-" I took a deep breath, not able to form words over the pain in my chest. "It was the same accident, Skylar."

She nodded, smoothing my hair out of my face, and a pained expression in her eyes. "I know Rowan, I know." Her eyes were misty as she wrapped her arms around me. 

I wasn't sure how long we must have stayed there, but I knew that I had never felt pain like that before. So much as to when I finally calmed down, my head was pounding from the pressure of crying so hard. 

"I remember," I whispered, and she drew back, her eyes sad and concerned. "The crash that started all of this. I remember it."

"Elijah told us you did when we the doctors were asking us questions. Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"I didn't want you guys to worry," I rasped. "You guys already worry so much. I told Elijah, though. Well, he was there when it happened. " My heart panged as I said it. He knew about the nightmares, and he still hadn't told me. I closed my eyes, my head throbbing, probably from dehydration.

"I know that this is all super hard for you Rowan, but I am here if you want to talk about it," Skylar said just as the door to my room opened again. I nodded and turned my attention to the person entering.

Hayden.

 His eyes flew up when he saw me, as he rushed over to my bedside, clutching my hand.

"Are you okay, Rowan?"

"Yeah, I am." 

"Rowan-" He paused, looking as if he couldn't quite form the words for what he had to say, and I tensed having a small clue of what was eating at him.

"I know," I said, looking down at the hospital sheets that were around me. I fiddled with the sleeve of the gown, having thought my tears were all subsided, but realizing they weren't as more fell. My voice was dull and empty, voicing the numbness I felt inside. "Where is he?"

He took a slow breath before he went over to Skylar and wrapped his arm around her. I smiled as she looked up at him, affection clear in her eyes. My heart hurt as I watched them. I was reminded of Elijah. 

"He ran home to change his clothes. He hadn't left your side until I practically begged him to get some rest."

I nodded, not surprised in hearing that, but wishing he had been here when I had woken up.

"How long was I out for?" I finally said, desperate to break the silence that was in the room. 

They both eyed me warily and worry rushed through me. "Well. Rowan, we don't want you to freak out but..." Skylar trailed off and looked at Hayden, and I watched them exchange a look, that caused me to hold my breath. "Well, you have been out for two days."

My eyes widened, as I tried to digest what she had just said. Two days?

I nodded to myself thinking about everything. The conversation with Elijah. The weeks before that. His mom.

Wait...His mom. 

But not only his mom, but the conversations at the house, While I hadn't remembered certain details, there were holes that had been filled. She had a Bonzai tree.

I had written nothing down. 

Except I remembered everything that had happened as it had just occurred. 

My breathing slowed as the reality of what was happening came crashing down. Tears I couldn't control sprang to my eyes, and my heart monitor was beeping so loud, I was pretty sure that if I didn't calm down a nurse would come rushing in. I sniffed, wiping my eyes, over the lump in my throat. 

"Someone spilled their tea all over me at the diner when you came to pick me up last week. You were trying to explain it to me the other day because I didn't remember it."

Skylar made a startled gasp, rushing over to me, her palms resting on the bed, and her wide eyes looking up at me.

"Yes, Rowan. Someone did," she said, her voice choked, and tears glistening into her own eyes.

I cracked a watery smile, a small laugh escaping my lips as more tears fell. "And I did almost hit Elijah with my car." Even though I had read about it even so many times in my journal, I could picture it now. His smile, his lack of anger. His eyes. "I almost hit him with my car."

I closed my eyes, as visions of me laughing with Hayden And Skylar, and me sitting on the couch with my mom flashed through my head. I felt as if I was no longer in my body, but was watching my life go by from someone else's eyes. 

It was like everything around me disappeared, and I couldn't move as the memories came rushing back. With a pounding heart, I was faintly aware of the fact that my heart monitor was going off like crazy, as I trembled violently, my breathing rapid, and the room around me falling away.

"Rowan?"

I glanced up, realizing that Hayden and Skylar had been calling me with panicked looks on their faces, but their features muddled together, and I squeezed my eyes shut, shaking my head.

 Sensory pulsed through my brain as scenes panned and an excruciatingly loud rush of voices and colors burst beneath my eyelids. I opened my mouth, but no words came out, and everything spun in circles. 

I was aware of shouting, and the sound of people rushing into my room before everything called back down, and the world went dark. I stared up, seeing nothing, aware that time was passing, but feeling frozen in existence. The light that emerged, started as a simple white ray, that grew until it was too much. As I slipped from consciousness, it wasn't a dark abyss that I fell into like all the other times. 

No. I faded away into the light.