Rowan's POV:

Elijah was avoiding me.

A week had passed since we had left his mom's house, and I hadn't seen him since he dropped me off at my place. We had talked, but it hadn't been anything significant and left me wondering what it was exactly that his mom had told him.

Part of me worried it hadn't been a family emergency. But if not that, I wasn't sure what it could be.

At first, I had thought nothing of Elijah's quiet demeanor on the ride back home, and the way he had somehow been extremely busy this week. But that was before Hayden had come over on Wednesday, proclaiming how grateful he was that his soccer practice had been canceled. The practice that Elijah told me he had when I asked if he was coming over.

The lie had been weighing on my mind since then, forming into an agonizing pressure on my chest that hadn't let up. I had tried to talk to Cole too but he said that Elijah had not talked to him about it.

I sighed, brushing frizzy curls of hair out off my face, just as the sound of keys jingled from outside the door, which cracked open a second later.

"Hey, babe. Are you doing okay?"

I looked up, twirling my fork lazily on my plate, as Skylar entered the apartment, shutting the door behind her softly. I nodded, trying to collect myself, and not wanting her to see how conflicted I was. She walked over, placing her course on the table, and sat down.

"How was your day?"

I took a breath, with a small smile. "It was good. I didn't do anything but it was relaxing."

Her eyes scanned mine, before she pointed to my food.

"Are you going to finish eating that?" I shook my head, sliding my plate over to her, and watched as she took a bite and swallowed. "Now cut the bullshit. Let's talk."

I sighed. She saw through everything.

"Skylar, I am okay-"

"Hush, child. I know that you are not." She took another bite of my food and pointed at me. "You have been moping around the house for the past few days, and I haven't seen Elijah over here once. Which says something, since he is always over here." Her tone softened a bit and she tilted her head. "Did something happen when you went to his mom's place?"

A lump formed in my throat, and I looked away from her concerned eyes. "Yeah..." I sighed, trailing off, and placing my head in my hands. I couldn't help the tears that formed, and I sniffled. "I think that maybe I did something Sky. When we were at his mom's, he got some bad news, and I thought that was why he was being distant. But it is clear that he is avoiding me."

Skylar stopped eating, dropping her fork, her eyebrows pinching. I swiped the sleeve of my hoodie across my cheeks, and forced a laugh, even though it hurt to do so.

"I'm sorry. I am a mess, I am doing okay. How have you been?"

Skylar's face morphed into a look of disbelief, and she held up her hand. "Woah there, sister, back up. We will not talk about me when you are hurting." She pushed the plate of spaghetti to the side and scooted her chair over to mine. "Did he tell you what the news he received was?"

I shook my head. "No. I tried to get him to talk about it, but he didn't want to."

"Do you know for sure he is avoiding you?"

My heart broke a little more when I nodded. "The other day, he said that he had practice, but it was the night that Hayden came over." Her eyes widened as she pieced together what I was saying.

Either Hayden had skipped practice, or someone had lied to me.

"I am going to kill him." An angry expression formed in her eyes, and she pushed back from the table, grabbing her purse.

"Where are you going?"

"To find your idiot boyfriend and ask him what the hell he is thinking by lying to you like that." She huffed, crossing her hands in front of her chest. "I mean, did he actually think you would not find out?" Not waiting for me to answer, she turned on her heels, and I had to practically launch myself out of my chair and across the kitchen to keep her from walking out the door.

"I appreciate it, Sky, but that won't be necessary. Elijah and I just need to talk."

"Are you sure, because I can go make him regret lying to you, I promise you that after I do, he will never do it again." I couldn't help but smile. My love for her growing.

"Yes, I am sure. We just need to talk. I am sure that he will come around." Even as I said it I could sense my hesitance, however, and Skylar smiled sadly, walking back into the kitchen.

"Despite still wanting to kick him and render his baby-making skills useless, I think you have nothing to worry about Rowan," she said placing her hand over mine. "That man is head over heels for you. I don't think he should have lied, but I don't think you have anything to worry about either."

"How do you know that?" I whispered. "What if something is wrong?" I couldn't bear to utter the other thought I was thinking, as I stared at my hands. What if he didn't feel the same way about me anymore?

"Well, I don't know but-" Skylar paused, looking toward the door, as a knock echoed through the room. She got up, peeping through the peephole, and looking back at me. "Scratch that, I just know." She opened the door, and I leapt to my feet, hazel eyes meeting mine.

Elijah walked in, and it was like suddenly I was able to breathe again. I paused, however, when I saw the worry and hesitance that lingered in his features. He looked almost pained.

"Hi," I breathed, surprised. I didn't know whether to stay where I was or go to him. Each option seemed equally fitting. "Elijah, what's wrong?"

Skylar shifted from where she was standing, nodding, and pointing t the two of us. "Well, it is obvious that you two need to talk, so I am just going to-"

She was gone before she finished the sentence, shutting the apartment door behind her. I stared at the closed door before looking at Elijah again.

"Is everything okay?" I asked. He brushed a hand through his hair, nodding. He dropped the back duffle bag to the floor, a sign that he had come here right after his practice.

"Can I sit down?" He asked, gesturing to the chair across from me.

"Oh of course, yes."

A lump formed in my throat, as he moved around me stiffly. When he finally sat, I regained my previous position in my seat, wishing that he wasn't so far away, but not sure how to initiate closing the distance with everything that was going on.

"Can I ask you a question?"

His eyes met mine, and my heart pinched at the dull and pained expression in them. I nodded, wondering what was going on, and he took a deep breath, leaning back in his seat. "If you knew who the other people were in the crash that you and your family were in a while back, could you forgive them?"

My eyebrows flew up in surprise, having not expected him to ask that at all. It was a colossal question. One that I didn't have the answer to. I knew now that the other car had run the stoplight, but people made mistakes. I didn't blame them.

Did I?

"I have honestly never thought about it," I breathed. He nodded his head, not saying anything, and I couldn't help but feel like he had intended to ask more than what he had. "Why? Is that what your mom told you, did you find out who the other family was?" I asked, realizing that it could have been why he was asking.

I knew it was a blunt question, but I was desperate for answers. Desperate to subdue the sinking feeling in my chest every time that he looked at me as if he wanted to come close, but didn't.

Elijah continued to stare at his hands, not answering my question, and I leaned my head down a bit, trying to catch his eye. "This distance is ridiculous." I got up, walking over from my side of the table, and sitting down next to him.

"Yes."

At first, I thought he was agreeing with me about the distance between us, but the look on his face made me realize that he was answering my question.

I didn't know what to say, as I stared at him, a rollercoaster of emotions running through my body. I touched my mouth in shock, shaking my head.

I knew this couldn't have been easy for him.

I cleared my throat, doing the only thing I knew I could do, and wrapping my arms around him. He hesitated, before wrapping his arms around my waist and squeezing me tightly. Even though we had hugged a million times before, this was different.

Almost like he was saying goodbye, and I had no idea why.

"Just because you know who they are now, doesn't change what happened," I whispered, desperately trying to make the pain I knew he was feeling go away."You were not the cause of that car crash. I know this hurts, but you are not to blame." His arms fell away, and it was like someone had sucked the life out of me.

"Rowan, I am so sorry."

When I pulled away completely, the expression on his face caused an ice-like sensation to wash over me. His eyes glimmered, dully, and I nearly forgot how to breathe at the sight of the pain in them.

"Why are you sorry?"

"Love, it was...we were...I am so sorry."

He closed his eyes, but when he opened them, the air was knocked out of my lungs. I wasn't sure how I knew, I just did.

"Elijah I don't understand what you are trying to say."

That was a lie. I did. But I needed him to say it.

"It was us. The car crash. It was us."

In that instant, everything clicked.

The remorse, his distance, his mom's surprise.

All the secret looks that both of our families had shared, the confusion and sadness in their eyes. They had known. My mom had known, and she hadn't told me. Elijah had known, and he hadn't told me right away. I brought my hand to my mouth, as my vision clouded over with tears.

It's funny how when time stops, it feels like forever is passing in a single minute. As if the entire world is watching, and a thousand borrowed minutes go to waste, as you desperately try to get your heart to beat again. But life won't let you.

I stood up, moving back slowly, and taking a deep breath through my nose, as I tried to comprehend what I was being told.

Remorse, rimmed his eyes red, and he raised his hand out to reach for me, but I pulled away. It wasn't a move made out of contempt, but I was trying to wrap my head around why he was just telling me to know.

Elijah's lips thinned, his eyes widening.

"And you have known since we went to visit your mom?"

What was happening?

"Yes."

I couldn't breathe.

My face broke, as my heart shattered.

Why hadn't he told me?

Why couldn't I breathe?

A sharp pain pierced through my head, and I shut my eyes. Taking a deep breath, I rubbed my temples but froze. I bit my lip, as the images that had been plaguing me for days played through my mind, but I shook my head. Now wasn't time to deal with that.

"Why did you wait so long to tell me?" I asked, trying to sound strong but hating the way my voice cracked. Elijah just shook his head and swallowed. "You should have told me," I repeated, feeling as if I was one second away from collapsing.

Elijah pushed away from the table but remained seated, my eyes never leaving his frame.

"I can't describe how it felt when my mom told me. I didn't want to cause you that pain." He took a deep breath, the sincerity in his eyes shining through. "Would you have been able to handle it? Are you able to handle it now? Knowing that I was the person who caused your father's death."

Hearing him say it, left me breathless. I stood up, feeling as if I had been slapped, and walked over to him.

"I don't feel that way," I said, hoping he knew the truth of my words. "You did not cause my father's death. It was an accident. You were not driving the car, baby. You were just a little boy."

The pain I was feeling ws no longer because of my shock, but because of the affliction on his face. I reached out, no longer angry, and just wanting him to know just how wrong he was, but he stood up, moving out of the way. My stomach dropped.

"Why are you pulling away from me?"

The words fell out of my mouth pleadingly, and I hoped that he would move closer. He didn't.

"You said it yourself," he said lowly, not meeting my eyes. "You don't know if you could forgive the person. But the truth is if you were capable of forgiving them you would have known right away." I shook my head, trying to push his words away, feeling as if we were getting farther and farther apart even though we were standing in the same room. "I don't want you to tell yourself that you are okay, but resent me deep down inside for the rest of your life."

"I don't resent you. I still believe everything I told you before." My voice was small, and I cleared my throat, trying to grasp onto some strength. "I don't blame you for my father's death. I am not hurt that we were involved in the same car crash. I am hurt that you didn't tell me."

Tears fell as I spoke, and my chest tightened as I hastily brushed them away.

"I wanted to tell you so many times. I just didn't know how."

"You could have started by answering my calls and my texts, instead of avoiding me," I said. "We are both adults. We could have dealt with it, but instead, you lied to me." I looked at the ground, my eyes flitting up to his a few seconds later, and it physically hurt to speak. "No, you didn't lie. You just withheld the truth from me. That is so much worse."

"I know, and I'm sorry. I didn't want to add more to your plate. You are already going through so much-"

"I already told you that I will not break." Elijah clamped his mouth shut, the small muscle in his jaw becoming prominent. "Why does everyone think I am going to break?" I asked, not really wanting an answer. My voice came out but a whisper over the tightening of my throat. "I thought you of all people would believe in me."

I had never experienced a hollowness like I was feeling now, feeling completely helpless. Useless.

Elijah shut his eyes, his jaw tensing, and when he opened them the intensity of the remorse mixed with pain stole my breath away.

"I believe in you, Rowan. But I also know you. You hide how you really feel every single damn minute. You say that you will not break, but we all do eventually." He took a deep breath. "Do you think this was easy for me to hear? Let alone tell you, the woman that I love, that I am somehow connected to the trauma you've had to go through?" He stared at me, his eyes dark and haunted. "How could you still forgive me after that? How could you let yourself still love me?"

I stared at him, wondering if I had heard the question right.

"How could I not love you after that? Elijah you have to stop blaming yourself for everything," I said, the words painful to say. "You are just one person. Nobody can hold that weight." I took a step closer, grateful when he didn't automatically move, but hating how his gaze remained on the floor. "I just wish you would have told me. Yes, this isn't easy for me to hear, but we will get through it."

He still didn't look at me, and I took a step closer. I opened my mouth to speak but stopped when a ringing sound echoed through my ears. The intensity of it was unusual, and I clenched my fingers around the frame of a chair, trying to stabilize myself.

I shook my head, breathing in deeply through my nose, but jerked my head up, looking around when a faint yell erupted in my ears, the sound so pained that my heart skipped a few beats.

"I tried to tell you so many times. I really did."

I barely comprehended what Elijah said, as I looked at him, searching for a sign that he had heard the sound too, but he continued to watch me as if everything was normal. Or as normal as it could be. I took a deep breath, shutting my eyes as the surrounding air grew hot.

Flames lept up from behind my eyelids.

I wasn't asleep.

I was wide awake, and I was seeing this. I gasped as another scream sounded, this time much louder, and I brought my head to my hand, resting my elbows on the counter.

"Are you okay?" Elijah started towards me when I opened my eyes, but I held up my hand, unable to think straight. This was all too much. "Don't," I said, stopping him in his tracks, and regret flashed over me hotly. I had no idea what I was even saying. I wanted him to come here but the pain was clouding my judgment. "I think we just need to do this later."

"Love, I'm sorry. I know this is a lot-"

I winced as a searing feeling laced through my head, and I squeezed my eyes closed. A flinch tore through me when the scream roared through my ears, wobbling on my feet.

"Did you hear that?" I asked, cutting him off.

"Hear what, sweetheart?" Elijah stepped towards me, but I took a step back. He tensed, his eyes narrowing as he studied me.

I shook my head just as dots clouded the corners of my vision.

Gosh, I needed to sit down.

I smoothed a hand over my hair, pausing when tingles burst through my hand as if I had been pricked simultaneously with a thousand needles.

"I think you should go," I whispered, as my eyesight tunneled, and the world hollowed out.

"I think we need to talk now. We can't just keep pushing things off because it is uncomfortable."

I shook my head because he wasn't getting it. I couldn't talk about it, I couldn't breathe. My eyes scanned wildly around the room when I heard the piercing scream again. But this time it wasn't my living room that I was seeing.

It was fire, and it was everywhere.

I inhaled deeply, searching for Elijah, and failing. The sun had fled, and darkness loomed in every corner, hints of orange and red being the only source of light. The screaming was more prominent now, and the heat of the fire was burning my skin. Metallic walls closed around me, and my chest heaved up and down as I tried to place what was happening.

"I don't think we can talk about this," I whispered, feeling as if I couldn't get enough air. An image of a stop sign and the sounds of tires screeching washed dizzily through my head, and I could no longer hold my weight up.

"I know." I looked towards the voice, finding nothing. When my knees gave out, my body renouncing my control, I knew that something was wrong. "Rowan?"

"Elijah," I wheezed, my chest burning as my lungs seized.

My oxygen fell away first, and then the rest of the world with it.