Elijah's POV:

"I am so sorry Elijah."

Was it possible to die while still being alive? For the world to end when it was just beginning?

 For those who say, no, that life couldn't possibly contradict itself in that way, I had to disagree. Because I was experiencing just that.

I knew that I'd needed to hear it, but still wished the truth hadn't been revealed this late. If I had known earlier, I would have done things differently. 

I should have connected the dots before.

 I wasn't sure why I hadn't been able to notice that the fearful eyes that had been plaguing my nights were the same as the ones I now had memorized, like the back of my hand. But then again, maybe I hadn't wanted to see it.

"Is everything alright?" 

I swallowed, turning to look at Rowan, who was watching Mom and me from the kitchen doorway. My heart was pounding as I took in her concerned eyes, trying to hold myself together.

 Her face fell and walked over to me, her small hand rubbing circles into my back. Just the simple gesture made my heartache. After what I had just heard, I didn't know if she would ever want to be near me again.

 "Elijah, what is wrong? You are scaring me." She glanced at my mom. "Is everything okay?"

I wasn't sure if the slight shake of my mom's head was a figment of my imagination, but I didn't dwell on it long. A small smile stretched on her face, and she glanced at me. I automatically knew that she wasn't going to tell Rowan.

That burden was with me.

"Yes, dear, everything is okay. I am afraid that there had been a family emergency, and probably should have waited to tell him."

I cleared my throat, looking down at Rowan, drinking her in, as everything around me fell apart. "Right. Don't worry about it, Love. I am okay." Rowan looked at me for a good minute, before she nodded her head slowly.

"Okay. Are you sure?"

"Yes," I said, in what I hoped was reassuring to her, because I was pretty sure that I was five seconds away from losing it.

I knew the truth would forever be inescapable.

Rowan was the little girl in the other car, and she didn't even know it. I didn't think I ever wanted her to know. But I also knew that it wasn't a choice. Keeping this a secret could destroy us just as much as telling the truth could.

Grey eyes gleamed up at me, Rowan's mouth curving down as she wrapped her arms around me.

People have always said that guilt could eat you alive. I thought that I had known what they meant after Carter died. But the feeling I was experiencing at the moment, the torturous trepidation, it was untouched.