"Don't you worry about a thing, my dear... cause I'll be standing on the side when you check out."

I sashayed across my living room, grabbing an unused napkin off of the coffee table, as I continued what remained of my last-minute cleaning. Humming, I danced over to the couch, straightening the pillows, and letting the song ease the nerves that had spurred my urge to clean everything.

Anything to help the nervous anticipation that was building inside.

In just a few minutes, Elijah would be here, and in one day I would meet his mom. To say I wasn't extremely anxious about it would be an understatement.

I paused, with a sigh, eyeing the spray bottle that I had left on the island counter. I danced my way over to it, spraying the counters for the second time that day as I let the lyrics to I poured to Stevie Wonder's, 'Isn't She Lovely," overtake me.

I continued with the ritual for about fifteen minutes before I stopped, realizing that I might have run out of things to clean as I searched around for a book out of place or a lingering crumb on the tables.

But nothing jumped out of me. Everything was clean and my distraction from my own nerves was no longer useful. That left me with one last thing to do.

Get ready to go.

With a breath of confidence, I turned on my heels only to stop short. My heart jumped, as I froze with a surprised sigh.

"Well, please don't stop on my account. I kind of liked the view."

"Elijah." I brought a hand to my heart, the beats speeding up when an unapologetic and sneaky grin. He took a step forward, his eyes catching the light as he entered the kitchen completely. "You have got to stop doing that," I chided playfully. "You almost gave me a heart attack."

"Sorry." His accompanying chuckle however was the least bit apologetic. "How can I make it up to you?"

He took another step, his keys jingling as he placed them on the counter. Despite my attempt to feign irritation, I couldn't help the smile that fell across my lips when he finally stopped in front of me. His hands found the curves of my waist, molding into my body and tugging me closer. I stumbled, letting out a breath and catching myself with my hands on his chest.

As if under their own control my legs brought me to the tips of my toes at the same time his head lowered. His chuckle met my lips as they met with his.

"You don't seem that mad to me," he whispered after pulling back further, my body following his movements and not at all ready to end the kiss just yet. Instead of responding I brought my mouth to his once more, smiling in content, before letting the soles of my feet meet the floor again.

"I am."

"Then I think that I like this version of mad Rowan."

I laughed, tilting my head back and shaking my head. "Don't get used to it. This version is rare."

He hummed deeply, his eyes lingering on mine for a moment before he said anything.

"How was your night?"

I felt him tense, my muscles only realizing when his fingers began to knead my shoulders as I thought about how to answer the question. He had been gone before I had woken up that morning due to an early practice, so we hadn't gotten the chance to talk about it like the nights before.

At first, I had been hesitant to share when he first had started asking, but I found that it was easier to make it through the days when I was honest. I could tell that it also made him feel better when I did tell him about the nightmares. In a way I hadn't thought was possible it had brought us closer too. Ever since the discussion the night he had gotten back from the tournament he had made a point to check in and I had made a point to be more open.

I tilted my head to the side with a small smile. "Same old same old." I frowned when Elijah's smile dimmed. "But I'm okay."

I glided my hands around his neck and playing with the curled ends of hair. He didn't say anything as he watched me, his fingers lazily buried themselves in my hair as he pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"You have to be one of the strongest people I know."

I wish I agreed with him.

I just pressed closer to him and we continued to stand there for a few minutes more before I moved. I gasped as my eyes fell to the clock, and I took in how late it was.

"We have to get going or we are not going to get to your Mom's apartment in time."

"I'm not stressing. We have plenty of time. I would be down to stand here a little longer." He gave my waist a squeeze. "And go back to doing what we were doing a few minutes ago."

As if giving me a hint he swooped down, placing a quick kiss on my mouth again.

"I bet you would like, that," I said with a grin that was returned. I was grateful that it was there, and hearing I had nightmares the night before hadn't ruined his mood completely. "But if we stay here we are definitely going to be late. Just give me a minute, I have to finish getting ready, and then I am ready to go. I look like a mess."

Elijah lifted an eyebrow, his eyes lowering as if he was scanning me. "You look absolutely fine to me. Beautiful."

I raised my eyebrows, knowing full well that I did not look put together at all.

"I look like I haven't been out of the house in days."

"What's wrong with that?"

"What's wrong is that I m not meeting your mom looking homeless." The sweatpants I was wearing, paired with my oversized sweater definitely made me look the part. Plus, the bun I had fixated in my hair a few hours before he had gotten home could no longer be considered such. Half of my hair was now falling out of it, and I was sure it was a frizzy mess as well.

I brought my palms to his chest pushing gently. Elijah released his hold, nodding his head before looking around my kitchen and glancing at me with a bewildered smile.

"Love, is there a reason you bleachafied the apartment?"

I ran a hand through the pieces of hair that were hanging down, biting my lip as I followed his eyes.

"Stop exaggerating," I said, slightly embarrassed that he had noticed. "I just did a little cleaning. That is all." Despite my argument, even I knew that was the biggest understatement of the year. I eyed the spotless kitchen and smudges appliances. Maybe I had overdone it a bit. And he was right, now that he had mentioned it the chemical scent of cleaning products was finally hitting me.

"Okay, spill," Elijah said, and I swung my eyes back to him.

"What?"

He shot me an unamused look before speaking again. "You aren't fooling anyone. The last time that I saw your apartment this clean, was when you took your GMAT." Elijah interlocked his pinky finger with mine and gave my hand a little shake. I covered his hand, already knowing where he was going with his sentence. "I know what you are worried about. My mom is going to love you, you don't have to worry about that. I promise"

I sighed, chewing on the corner of my mouth. He had been saying that for the past few days, and if it wasn't for the fact that he was my boyfriend I would have believed him. But the truth was that nobody knew how his mom would take to me. I just hope that she did like me. But it didn't mean that she would.

"And if she doesn't, which is highly unlikely," he added after a few seconds pause, "it will not change how I feel about you."

He adjusted the baseball cap that was on his head so it was backward, locks of hair sticking out from beneath it, his eyes peeking from underneath his lashes and his smile carefree.

I smiled, allowing myself to believe his promising expression, and hugging him.

"I love you."

Light bloomed in his eyes, and he brought his lips back down to mine, kissing me gently.

"I love you too."

"I know," I said confidently, having learned a few things from him. My retort was rewarded with the sound of his baritone laugh as flitted beyond his reach and glided around him. When he let go of my hand I made my way back into the living room.

I spotted my leather suitcase, which was leaned against the wall by the door, and went over to pick it up. Elijah beat me to it, however, sending me a wink of acknowledgment. I didn't protest it this time, knowing it was useless.

Letting him know that I'd only be a minute, I ran into my room, peeling off the clothes I was wearing. I tugged on a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt, wrapping my hair up into a neater bun on top of my head. When I walked back out, Elijah was still standing where I had left him.

"Do you have everything packed, or should you check a sixth time?" I narrowed my eyes before rolling the, and he held up his hands his mouth pulled up into a big grin. "Am I wrong? Will it be your seventh?"

I narrowed my eyes even further, placing my hands on my hips. "I only checked it two times." He tilted his head, raising his eyebrows, and I sighed. "Fine, it was four, but you can't blame me. I am a nervous preparer."

"I know, and it is one of the things I love about you."

"How much I over-prepare or how much I worry about everything?"

"Neither, how much you care about everything and what my Mom thinks about you," he said. "Even though I wish you wouldn't worry so much, it means a lot you care enough about it."

"Well, of course, I care," I stated. "What your mom thinks of me matters." He nodded, walking over to me.

"I know and she is going to love you."

I smiled to myself. Never once had he gotten annoyed with my overly excessive need to check things over again. Usually, people got annoyed with how OCD I was, but Elijah made me see it in a whole new light.

"We should be going now, so we can make the most of the daylight."

I nodded, looking at the time and seeing that it was already one in the afternoon. If we wanted to get there in time to take a quick nap, before we headed over to meet his mom, then we needed to leave now.

"Okay," I said, looking around one last time, the butterflies in my stomach telling me that there must have been a spot I had forgotten to clean.

I thought I had just spotted a smudge on the door of my fridge when Elijah took my hand in his and tugged me towards the door.

"I know there is absolutely nothing else you can clean in here, Love." I gave up reluctantly, letting him lead me through the door.

"Okay, I said, after I locked the door, and pivoted around to see Elijah watching me as if I was going to bolt back in the apartment. "I'm ready."

"Good," he said. "For a minute there I thought I was going to have to grovel to get you to come with me."

I rolled my eyes at him, and he kissed my cheek, entertaining his hand with mine. I wondered how he was holding my hand, while holding a pretty hefty suitcase, but my concern went away when I saw how effortlessly he was managing everything.

"Did you ever find your journal," he asked after a moment.

My heart sunk a bit. I hadn't.

"No." I shook my head with a shrug. "I bought a new one though."

Elijah nodded silently, the expression on his face telling me that he knew how important it was to me. He squeezed my hand and I glanced up at him, squeezing his back.

In less than five minutes, we were in the car and off to our destination. Elijah turned on the radio when we reached the end of the street, and an ironically unmistakable tune filled the car.

Elijah grinned at me. "Care to finish your concert ?" My cheeks heated, and embarrassment grew within at having been caught earlier. "You have nothing to be embarrassed about, Rowan. So open that pretty mouth of yours and bless the world with it."

My eyes widened, and I stared at him.

Well, when he said it like that...

Grinning, I started singing along with the beautiful chorus. Elijah's smile was worth it all and he even joined in for a few lines before the song ended.

"Seriously, you have an amazing voice. There is so much you could put forth by opening your own studio."

I shrugged. "We shouldn't talk about me, when there is so much you could put forth by going to culinary school," I said, testing the waters of the conversation a bit.

I had mentioned it times before, and each time he had said that it would never happen and changed the topic. Elijah glanced at me sideways, before training his eyes on the road. My heart dropped as I realized that I had probably killed the whole mood, and I placed a hand on his arm.

"Forget I said anything. It's okay."

He glanced at me, his mouth forming an o shape. "I am not mad. I was just thinking about it."

Surprise overtook me, and my eyes widened. "Really?"

He shrugged, his eyes now back on the road. "I have been thinking about it for a while. If I went to Law school, when I would bring forth would be less impactful than what I could bring to people as a chef, since I absolutely despise the thought of being a lawyer."

He turned on his blinker, turning right at a four-way intersection, and I watched as a squirrel ran across the road before he spoke again.

"It would also be hypocritical of me to tell you to go for your dreams, but not consider mine."

To say I wasn't surprised to hear him agreeing would have been a lie. I nodded, thrilled that he was finally seeing what I had been trying to tell him for weeks. Yea, he was an amazing cook, but that wasn't the only reason why I wished that he would go to culinary school. I wanted to see him happy.

"You should definitely do it," I said, my smile wide. "There is literally the only perfection in that decision."

He grinned, his hand shifting to my leg, as he splayed his hand out on my thigh. "Don't get too eager now. I only said that I was thinking about it."

Despite his statement, the smile remained on my face. "It's the fact that you are considering it that counts. It is time for you to be happy, Elijah."

"I am happy. You make me happy." He lifted my hand, kissing the back of it, and my adoration for the man grew.

"That isn't what I mean though." I brushed his knuckles with my thumb. "You deserve to have a chance to choose how you live your life. You make me happy too, and you deserve to be at peace with every single decision you make."

Elijah said nothing as he drove, merging into the incoming traffic on the highway. When he finally glanced at me, he dipped his chin.

"Okay, I will more than just consider it. I will let you know what I decide."

Finally content, I leaned back in my seat, a yawn escaping me. I always got sleepy on long drives, and this would definitely be one.

"Good." I leaned my head against the headrest. "You shouldn't let anyone be an obstacle to your success."

"Neither should you."

I smiled, but it died down when his words really settled, reminding me of the discussion I knew we would have soon or later. I wasn't sure if it was the right time, but then again, if I waited until I was ready, I would be waiting forever.

We continued to drive in silence, the unspoken confession eating away at my conscience.

I should have talked to him about it already.

"Sweetheart...you have been chewing on your lip for a good minute now." I snapped my head in his direction. "What's going on?"

I held my breath for a minute, contemplating if I was going to tell him or make up something on the spot. He would probably believe me if I told him I was just nervous. That was the truth.

The only problem with that was it was only half the truth.

Here went nothing.

"I applied to get my master's at Baylor."

I sucked in a breath, silently wondering if I shouldn't have blurted it out as I had. When I glanced at Elijah his jaw had tensed, the previous peace on his face now disrupted. My heart skipped a beat, a spark of nervousness running through me.

"How long ago did you apply?"

"A few weeks ago." His grip tightened slightly, and when he glanced at me, the look in his eyes wasn't mad, but they were far from happy. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you earlier." I focused my gaze on the windshield. "I was just scared."

"Scared of what, baby?"

I didn't answer immediately, trying to find something to say other than the truth of my worries. It was too serious of a conversation, and now that we had started the beginning of it, I was regretting mentioning everything together.

I watched as blurs of trees and other cars raced by the window as I bit my lip.

"Rowan?"

"I was scared that you wouldn't want to do the distance," I finally answered after a while, not looking at him.

I stilled when he said nothing, my worst fears coming true in his silence. I swallowed, tears biting the back of my eyelids as I struggled to take in air. I wasn't sure what I would do if he confirmed my doubts.

I wasn't opposed to staying in Oregon. Baylor had been a dream of mine forever, but I had new dreams now.

I closed my eyes, Elijah still not having said anything. I didn't notice that we had detoured from the directions until the car stopped. When I opened my eyes, I saw that we were in the parking lot of a store chain.

I glanced at Elijah, the engine idling as he shifted in his seat so he was looking directly at me. The frown that played on his mouth deepened when our eyes met, and immediately he reached out, wiping away the tears that had fallen.

I had no idea why I was crying since I had multiple options. Maybe it was knowing that if the distance would be too much for him, then I had potentially misjudged what we had going on.

"If you're going to tell me I am right and the distance is too much to handle, then can we do it later," I whispered.

I knew that it probably wasn't fair of me to ask, but I wasn't sure I could handle a confession of the sort, without a proper way for me to leave. Elijah shook his head, glancing at our hands, which were still intertwined as my heart dropped.

"I've never taken anyone to meet my mom before. I have never wanted to. Until you." He met my eyes again, the colors shining more brightly. "I'm no cynic, but I honestly never thought that I would meet someone who would make me feel the way I do when I am with you."

I searched his eyes as he smiled, grabbing my other hand and leaving me confused. "I honestly can't imagine my life without you, Rowan. If that means I have to put up with a little distance to keep you in my life, then I will do just that."

I said nothing, shaking my head, the conversation had taken a turn that I hadn't expected it to go. I was happy if he wasn't mad, but I hoped that he wasn't hiding if he was, to save my feelings.

"So you aren't mad?"

"Of course, I am not mad," he said, his words ringing true. "You mentioned Baylor to me when we first met. Yes, I think it is far, but we will make it work. I wish you would have told me earlier, but you are telling me now."

I stared at him, pretty sure that he could hear my heart threatening to beat out of my chest, and five seconds away from launching myself at him, and kissing him senseless.

"There is no doubt that I want to make it work. But I can still always stay here. Baylor isn't a solidified decision. I haven't even got in yet. I just wanted to let you know."

"Thank you for telling me." He paused. "If Baylor is really where you want to go, and you get in, then that is where you have to go, Love. As much as I want you to stay here, I don't want you to miss out on something you have wanted forever because of me."

"Even though it is something I have wanted, I have new desires too. Just because one dream has lived longer than another, doesn't mean it is more important."