Getting home and crawling into my bed was the only thing on my mind, as I climbed into my car, my muscles aching and fatigued from the day I had endured.

I shut the car door, sticking my key into the ignition, closing my eyes as I leaned my head back against the headrest of the seat. The spring semester had kicked into full gear again, and although the days were quickly flying by, I hadn't quite gotten back into the swing of things. Having such a long winter break had spoiled me for sure.

Gosh, I really should have taken fewer credit hours.

I opened my eyes after a few minutes, figuring that it was better for me to get home than fall asleep in the car, and shifted the car into drive. I looked out the window as I drove, taking in the lush scenery. Even though fall was my favorite season, I could admit that spring was beautiful.

Something was mesmerizing about the newness brought on by blooming flowers and budding trees. During the wintertime, the days were almost too quiet, but as I drove, I could hear the quiet squall of birds. Their ascent in the sky signaled that they were back from their migration.

When I finally made it back to my apartment, I stumbled up the stairs, wishing that my apartment wasn't on the third floor. I knew that some of my exhaustion hadn't been getting much sleep lately. Today I had felt the repercussions.

I entered my apartment, shutting the door behind me softly. I heard the soft hum of the tv and looked up to see Skylar sprawled out on the couch. She looked to be fast asleep, so I tiptoed past her and into my room, placing my ridiculously heavy bag down before I reemerged.

"Hey, Chica!" I nearly jumped te feet in the air, my eyes widening as I looked towards the couch.

"What?" I said pointing at a now awake Skylar. "Were you not just asleep?"

She shrugged looking unbothered, while I on the other hand was trying to figure out how she had just woken up but looked like she could run a mile. "Power nap." She yawned stretching her hands above her head while I just stared at her, wishing that I had even one-tenth of the energy she had. "Hello, Earth to Rowan. I said hi," she said, waving her hand around.

"Hi," I said, walking over to join her on the couch.

"Oh, has it been a rough day?" She asked when I plopped down onto the marshmallow-soft cushions, and closed my eyes, five seconds away from going into hibernation.

"Yes," I sighed. "I don't think I will ever get used to waking up early again. Plus it doesn't help that I have to find time to re-listen to all of my lectures, and go over my notes before each class."

This whole amnesia thing was a real pain in my rear sometimes.

Skyla nodded, sympathetically, and the couch dipped as she got up." I know how hard it can be Rowan, but you are a real trooper you know that. I envy your resilience sometimes."

I scoffed Resilience my ass. I was barely functioning. I was pretty sure I had chugged 5 cups of coffee down this morning, and I still felt like I hadn't slept in a year.

I eyed Skylar who was grinning from ear to ear still, and I frowned. "Stop smiling. You are only making my misery worse."

She rolled her eyes, patting my legs so that I would scoot over on the couch. "Please, you know that my smile is infectious." At that statement, I couldn't help but prove her right, the corners of my mouth tugging up, and she winked at me. "Anyway Ro, if you are not too busy being a grinch, I have something for you that might cheer you up though," she said excitedly.

"I am not being a grinch."

"Yes honey, you are," she said as I cracked an eyelid open and watched her sashay into the kitchen. She emerged a few seconds later carrying a familiar with a takeout bag and harboring an even wider smile. I couldn't help but laugh a little bit when she held up the bag, waving it slightly in the air, and did a little dance. "I got Chinese for dinner! " She exclaimed, setting the bags down on the floor in front of me. "It's my treat. I know that you have been having a rough couple of days so I figured that it would cheer you up."

I inhaled and my stomach growled, in response to the delicious and savory aroma that had filled the air. "How much would I have to pay you to marry me?" I asked Skylar, now sure that she must have been an angel that God had sent me from Heaven.

"A thousand dollars," Skylar said with a straight face.

"Hey," I said. " I am your best friend, the price shouldn't be that high."

"My services don't come for free Rowan unless you turn into Hayden then maybe you would be an exception" I glared at her, and she winked.

"That hurts Sky. Whatever happened to sisters before misters."

She patted my leg, already digging into the food. "What happened was, this sister met a guy who knows how to work it in the bedroom," she said, and I grimaced

"Gross, Skylar," I groaned covering my eyes with my hand. "I don't need to know about you and Hayden's little escapades. And you and I both know that isn't the only reason." She just grinned and I rolled my eyes playfully. "Fine, I also love him."

I sighed dramatically. "There was a time where you also loved me."

"You will get over it, babe. Besides you have Elijah."

At the mention of Elijah, my dreary mood lifted a bit. Yeah, I did have him. Gosh, I wished that he was here. He, Hayden, and Cole were away for the week having had a soccer tournament. I had talked to him over the phone earlier, but it had only been briefly as he had to go.

My smile died a little as I thought about the tension that lingered between us. He had tried to talk about everything like he said he would the other day, but I hadn't wanted to. He hadn't been happy about it. Skylar stood up, walking back into the kitchen and returning with plastic forks and plates.

"Thanks, Sky. You are an angel," I said when she handed me a plate of food before I started shoveling it down, realizing that I hadn't eaten all day. I had grabbed a granola bar for breakfast, but since Wednesdays were my heavy days when it came to classes, I hadn't had a chance to stop and eat lunch.

"I know," she chirped, before digging into her food. "So," she said after she swallowed her bite. "When do you hear back from Baylor?"

It was like all the nerves inside of me had been shaken, as soon as the question left her lips. I had applied to Baylor for my master's in business management a few months ago and was still waiting for a response. I was a little worried since I had applied late, due to the delay of me taking my GMAT later in the year due to my condition. I had wanted to apply early decision, but I hadn't made the deadline. Late was better than never.

I shrugged, swallowing my food, and taking a sip of water, from the glass she had given me. "I should hear back in a few weeks or so," I said, trying to act like I wasn't nervous, and not elaborating for fear that my worry would fester even more than it already had. I must have not been very convincing though, because Skylar sent me a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry Rowan, they would be crazy not to accept you. You are the definition of qualified, and would bring so much to their program." I smiled, grateful for her reassurance. Skylar had been one of my biggest supporters for a while now and I was more grateful than she could know.

"Thanks, Sky. I hope you are right. If not, I will have to settle for getting my master's here."

She nodded understanding washing over her features. "I get what you mean. I love Oregon and all, but there is nothing here. I want to get out and explore a bit. Are you sure Texas is where you want to go, though?"

I nodded, having had the same conversation with her now about 3 times, and still giving her the same response.

"I am sure. It will be a change of pace, but I think it is time to expand my horizons a bit."

I was pretty sure that in asking, it wasn't the place she had been referring to but the distance. Even though she had never spoken about it outright, I knew that she was worried that I was going so far away. Mom had voiced the same concern when I had told her about it, saying that she felt like I needed to be closer just in case things with my amnesia got work.

I however was determined not to let it hold me back and had gone forth with applying anyway.

Skylar still looked a bit unsure, and I hoped that she would understand my decision. "How does Elijah feel about it?" She asked, and I paused.

Elijah knew that I had applied to Baylor, but we hadn't discussed it. Each time that it was brought up he skirted around the topic. If I was being honest, I didn't blame him. He didn't have to say anything either, because I was pretty sure I was feeling the same thing he was.

"What about you?" I asked her, desperate to change the topic and alleviate the weight that had settled in my chest at the thought of what my moving to Texas would do to Elijah and my relationship. "When are you hearing back from that job offer?"

"No, I haven't heard back yet," she said setting her plate down. "I should by the end of the week. I am so nervous," she added the pitch of her voice rising at the end of her sentence.

Skylar was a computer design major and had serious talent at her fingertips. She had gone on a job interview a few weeks ago at a big shot firm for the position of the head of the advertisement agency. I did not doubt that she would get the job, but she had been worried for the last few weeks.

"Don't be," I said trying to ease her worry. "They would be insane not to hire you. I have seen your portfolio and I doubt that anyone else is as talented as you are. Hell, I don't know anything about advertising agencies, but I do know that you would be a brilliant asset for any company." Her smile sparkled as she clasped her hands together."

"Thanks, Rowan. That means a lot. I worked so hard on that portfolio. I hope they think I am good enough for their team."

"Oh, I bet they already do," I said taking another bite of my food. "And if not frick them right. It is their loss."

"Yeah," she said, nodding to herself as if she had realized something. "Frick them," she added in a serious tone before she looked back at me, and we both giggled a bit.

When we had both calmed down she sat up straighter placing her food down on the floor in front of her.

"You know Hayden asked me to move in with him, with you going off to Texas and all. We both know I can't afford the apartment by myself." She folded her hands in her lap and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I am considering it?"

I raised my eyebrow, searching her eyes. Skylar fidgeted, but her gaze seemed as if she was in a different dreamy state of being.

"You are only thinking about it?" She glanced at me and my lips curved into a smirk.

"Okay, I am more than thinking about it," she said smiling widely. "I'm pretty sure that I am. I haven't decided for sure yet though."

"We both know what your decision will be," I deadpanned, and she giggled nodding her head.

"Yea, we do."

I winked at her, and we both finished eating out food in silence. As we ate my mind wandered back to the conversation that Elijah and I hadn't had, but I knew that we would have to have soon. It was a big elephant in the room, that finally needed to be addressed, there was no other way around it. If I went to Baylor and he stayed here things would change.

"Are you still going to visit Elijah's mom next week?" Skylar asked, as we threw our trash away, and tried to tidy up the apartment. It was a ritual that we did at the end of every day without needing to say anything. I was kind of a tidy freak, and Skylar knew that so we always tried to straighten things up before we went to bed.

"Yeah," I said, butterflies rising in my stomach at the thought of it. "We are going to leave on Friday, and then probably head back on the next Tuesday."

She turned to me. "Are you nervous?"

I breathed out, through my teeth. "Yes. Elijah keeps telling me that I have nothing to worry about, but I just know that it is going to be complicated considering everything."

"Rowan you and I both know that you got this in the bag," I watched as Skylar picked up a pair of shoes from off the floor, and turned to me. "But it also just might be easier for you to explain what's going on," she said with a shrug.

I had thought of that. I mean if things continued to work out with Elijah like I hoped they would, she would eventually find out anyway. "I know," I said throwing the empty water bottle that was on the couch in the green recyclable tub by the trash can. "I am just not sure if I want to tell her yet."

"That's understandable," Skylar replied. "I only would tell her if you are a hundred percent comfortable with it, but you should at least think about it."

I nodded, and we both finished what we were doing. Skylar and I ended up watching a movie that I had never seen before, about two guys who were FBI agents and dating the same girl. before she decided to call it a night since she had an eight A.M class tomorrow. I decided to turn in not long after, checking my phone as I walked towards my room. A smile broke out across my face when it rang.

"Hey" I breathed happily when I answered, holding the phone up to my ear.

"Hey. How was your day?" As soon as he spoke a pang of longing ran through me. I didn't think it was possible to miss another person this much, but I did. I longed for the distance between us, both physical and emotional, to disappear. I was just trying to keep my problems from mucking up his life, but for some reason, I felt like I had made things worse.

"It was pretty good," I said. "I don't have class tomorrow though, so I am grateful for that. How was your day?"

I got up, putting the phone on speakerphone, opening a drawer to find something to wear to bed as Elijah told me about the game they had. As usual, they had won, but Elijah had said that it had gone overtime after one of their players had been injured.

"Well, that is good. Is your teammate okay?" I asked settling on a pair of Nike shorts and one of his t-shirts. which he had left.

"Yeah he is going to be fine, but he may be out for a few weeks. He strained a muscle so the trainer had him out the whole game and the next tournament."

"Well, I hope he recovers soon. Is it anything too damaging?" I pulled on a pair of socks, waiting for his answer.

Yep, I was one of those weird people who couldn't fall asleep unless I was wearing socks, even though they almost always ended up on the floor by the time that I woke up.

"Nothing that he won't recover from luckily."

I nodded. That was fortunate.

"I am glad then."

"Me too."

I smiled, picking at a loose string on one of my sucks, and took a deep breath.

When are you getting back again?" I crisscrossed my legs, sitting against my headboard before I got back up and turned off the bedroom light, switching on my lamp.

"We are heading back Friday morning, so I should be back sometime that evening," he said. "Why do you miss me?" I could hear the grin in his voice, and I rolled my eyes but knew that I did.

"It is your cooking that I miss," I said with a grin. "I feel like I am wasting away on takeout and sandwiches," I said with a grin. "I need you to come back and make me a proper meal".

Elijah let out a low hum and I knew that he was grinning. "Are you sure that is all you miss about me, sweetheart?"

"Yep," I said holding back a small giggle.

"Damn," he said letting out a sigh. "And here I thought that you were keeping me around for something other than my cooking skills. It seems like I am being used."

I laughed, as his low chuckle came through the receiver. "Fine. I may just want you to come back too."

"So you aren't using me for my cooking skills?"

"Nope," I said. "I keep you around because I love you."

"I love you too, Rowan."

I felt like I was floating.

"Hey," I whispered after a second. "You didn't happen to see my journal before you left?"

There was a pause.

"I didn't. Did you lose it?"

I nodded. Despite having looked plenty of times I hadn't been able to find it that morning. While I always knew I could get another one, I hadn't lost one ever. I still had all of them, stacked in boxes in my closet.

I sighed, my heart heavy.

"Yes. I looked everywhere."

"I'm sorry, baby. I am sure it will turn up."

Pressing my lips together, I nodded, wishing I remembered where it had been placed. But I knew to think on it was only going to make things worse so I changed the subject, hoping to ease the weight on my chest. Elijah and I talked for a little while longer before I let out a yawn.

"Sounds like someone over there is about to fall asleep."

"Yea, I am completely exhausted. I feel like I haven't slept in ages."

"Are you having trouble sleeping?"

"No, I have been sleeping fine," I told him, not wanting him to worry, I knew Elijah would feel bad if he knew that my nights had been filled with more of those horrific dreams. It had practically taken me eons to convince him that I would be okay while he was away on the tournament

He didn't answer right away, and I held my breath feeling like he knew somehow that I wasn't being exactly truthful.

"Okay, well I will let you get some sleep. I hope to see you soon."

I let out a breath, my shoulders sagging when he didn't ask about the nightmare again.

"Alright. I love you."

"I love you too. I'll be home sooner than you know."

"I hope so."

-------

My eyes flew open when my bed dipped from underneath me, the fact that someone else was in the room registering. I lifted my head, squinting through the darkness, wondering why the hell Skylar would climb into bed with me when a warm arm wrapped around my body.

The effect was immediate, the fresh scent of soap and something masculine, being immediately calming.

"Go back to sleep, Love."

Elijah tugged me to him, settling next to me, but I jumped onto my knees.

"Hi," I gasped, blinking to make sure that he was really there and I wasn't just having a sleep- deprivation-induced hallucination. He wasn't wearing a shirt and smelled like he was fresh out of the shower. I allowed my eye to roam unashamedly. "What are you doing here? I thought you weren't coming home until Friday."

I didn't give him a chance to answer, practically jumping on him, our lips colliding with force. He chuckled into the kiss, the pace slow but feverish. His hands slid down my waist as he pushed me back so that I was laying down, and a slow burn scorched my skin in the best of ways.

When I pulled back I was panting, and the grin he flashed was magnificent. Under different terms, I would have pulled him back in, but I had questions.

"How are you here?"

He didn't answer right away, sitting up and kissing my forehead, as I wrapped my arms around his neck laying down on his chest. I knew I was still delirious from my half-asleep state of being.

"We came back early. With tournaments there is really no set date that they end, it depends on the pace of the games. Since we were done coach let us come back earlier than Friday. I was actually on the way home when I called you."

"I am so glad." A yawn escaped my lips. "I missed you."

Even though it was dark, I could still see the smile that formed in wake of my words.