《Who Knows?》"You could get a fish"

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Semi-fast, I make my way over to Eli's pick up truck. I open the passenger side door and climb up into the soft leather seats. The car smells intensely like lavender, maninka, lime and leather mixed with a slight wooden scent. Even though the lavender is clearly identifiable, it is a very manly and deep aroma. It's soothing and exciting my nerves at the same time. I steal a quick glance at him, his jaw is clenched and he just looks straight ahead at the road. After a couple of minutes of driving, he visibly relaxes. He lowers his shoulders, his right arm leaves the steering wheel and lands on his broad thigh and his jaw unclenches.

"Vegetarian, huh?" he questions without looking in my direction.

"Yup," I confirm, quickly averting my gaze to my lap.

"Why?" he probes further.

"Short or long answer?"

"Short," he quickly says adding a soft "please".

"Well, I love animals, it is better for your health and for the planet."

"I understand," he nods once. "You have pets?"

"I used to have a dog when I was younger. She's passed many years ago."

He looks at me then, momentarily taking his eyes off the road. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright. Do you have a pet?"

He laughs a little at my question. "No."

"Why not?"

His hand tightens around the steering wheel and his jaw locks back in place. "I can barely take care of myself much less of a dog or cat."

"You could get a fish," I offer, wanting to loosen the tension. He lets out a full-on laugh at my proposal. It's short-lived but beautiful. His white teeth flash in the sunlight and his eyes light up a little, creasing at their corners. I smile at him laughing. He should do it more often, it really suits him.

"I like your laugh," I admit before I can stop myself. His head snaps in my direction and I quickly turn my own in order to look out the window. He doesn't comment on my compliment, doesn't even say thanks. I take it that the conversation is over and I continue to look out of the window until we reach the local supermarket.

We're strolling through the aisles at the store, Eli pushing the cart and me walking in front of him. When we reach the meat aisle, I hurry out of there as fast as I can, looking for vegetarian and vegan products. Once I spotted the right shelf, I grab a pack of vegan sausages before going for the veggies. Eli is already sorting through the corn cobs and I place my stuff in the cart.

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"Do you want sweet corn?"

"Yes, please."

"How many?"

"Oh, one is enough. I've got some vegan sausages so..." I expect him to grimace or make a face of disgust when I mention the vegan sausages but he just nods his head and mumbles a low "okay". That's a new reaction. Most people I know make fun of vegan food. He returns to the cart and puts the vegetables inside before pushing the cart further down the aisle. We reach the shelves with the beverages and he looks at me expectantly.

"What?" I ask him.

"Go choose something to drink for you and Tess," he orders, pointing towards the aisle with his chin.

"You guys don't need drinks?"

"We already bought beer the other day. We're all set."

"What if we want wine?"

He lets out an annoyed sigh. "We have that, too. Would you please just go and choose a drink."

"Okay okay," I mutter, walk down the aisle and grab two bottles of pineapple juice and one bottle of orange juice. Tess and I really like juices. But nothing beats water for me. Water is the shit.

"Do you drink a lot of alcohol?" Eli asks me once I join him again.

"Usually not but I do enjoy a good glass of rosé or white wine here and there. What about you?" I look at him to catch his jaw clenching once again and his hands tightly grip the handle of the cart. He notices me looking at him and quickly loosens his grip. He shrugs nonchalantly.

"I don't drink." I did not expect that answer. I imagined him to be the type of man who would enjoy an ice-cold foreign beer every day after work.

"Not at all?"

"No."

"What's the reason?" I dare to ask, my curiosity getting the better of me.

"Just because," is his answer just as we reach the cash register. I wonder if I should say something to that, interrogate him further or if I should just keep my mouth shut. Of course, I don't keep my mouth shut. If I find something or someone interesting, I rarely do.

"Is it because of religious reasons?"

"I'm not religious."

"Okay, what is it then?" He ignores my question and grabs all the grocery bags. I notice now that he brought bags from home. I approve. We need to save our planet and not pollute it so much. His strides are fast and I fail to keep up with him. When I reach the car, he has already put all the groceries in the trunk and walks around to the driver's side. I climb into the car with him and buckle my seatbelt.

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"You care about the environment?" Another question slips past my lips.

"Yes, of course."

"That's great. Not many people do. You work at the repair shop with Bennett, right?"

"Right."

Based on his short answers, I get the feeling he doesn't really want to talk.

"Am I annoying you?" I quietly ask him.

"No, but you sure are a curious one."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You did nothing wrong. I just don't like talking about myself that much, is all."

"Noted. It's a shame, though. I bet you have a lot to tell." I try to make him feel better about himself. Who knows why. I just try to be a nice human being because it usually doesn't take much to be kind.

"I really don't."

I doubt that.

Tess and I sit around the bonfire, a glass of white wine in hand and a smile on our faces. It is a beautiful night and the backyard is filled with people. Bennett invited a lot of his friends and many brought their children or siblings. Tess points at a tall boy around our age.

"That's Simon, Marshall's little brother. I've had a crush on him for a while but I don't see him often enough to make anything out of it." We met Marshall a couple of hours ago. He is a frequent at the repair shop and he and the guys get along very well. They soon became great friends. Simon has shaggy blond hair and a lean body even though he is quite slim. He is pretty good looking and I can see why Tess likes him. His smile is very charming and he has bright blue eyes. Cute dimples as well.

"Why don't you go over and say hello?" I question her.

"You're one to talk," she retorts.

"Hey, I just spend a whole hour alone with a very handsome man in front of whom I have embarrassed myself. I have every right to talk, lady."

"You had no choice."

"Yeah, that's even worse. Come on, you are great with guys and you are gorgeous. Just go and talk to him. Maybe he'll be your summer romance." I encourage her, wiggling my eyebrows playfully.

"Ugh, okay. Better than always asking myself 'what if'."

"Yes, that's my girl! Go get 'em, tiger!" I whisper-yell and raise my glass towards her.

"Shhhhh! Don't embarrass me now," Tess shushes me, throwing a glare in my direction. I raise my hands innocently and make a kissy face at her. She ignores my gesture and strides to where Simon is standing with his big brother and a woman I don't know.

"Are you playing cupid?" I deep voice asks from behind me, making me turn in my chair abruptly. Eli stands directly behind my chair, a water bottle in his hand and his eyebrows raised.

"Um, yeah, maybe. Tess has a crush on him for a while so I just encouraged her to get what she wants. Is your girlfriend not here?"

He places Tess's chair a bit closer to mine and sits down in it. His arm brushes against mine and goosebumps erupt all over my body. I pull my arm to my body, feeling confused at its reaction to Eli's touch.

"I don't have a girlfriend." Huh, I guess Tess was right.

"Do you think Tommy will show up?" I ask him, curious as to what his reaction will be. I haven't seen Tommy since yesterday and honestly, I don't mind it at all. He gives me weird vibes.

"I hope not," is all he says before taking a large sip from his water bottle.

"Me too."

From my peripheral vision, I see his head slowly turn to me and he intently looks at me.

"What did he do to you that makes you wish he won't show up?" he asks in a low tone.

"I could ask you the same thing."

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