Isabella's POV

Thinking about the fact that Grandma is inquisitive in nature just like me, I appreciate the fact that she hadn't asked me anything for the past one week that I have been stuck here.

One week of always looking out of the window for the sight of Jayden's car or the sight of him.

One week of wanting a form of assurance from him but nothing. He hasn't come here ever since the other night and I feel he didn't really care.

He was right. The sex was a mistake.

If he cared, he would have at least come back to apologize but he is back to being that egoistic man I used to know.

I have stopped crying but I wish I had a friend. I wish Juliet and I didn't have a fight and she is here to cheer me up. If we were still friends, she would have suggested that we go to a party and it would have been a great way to take my mind off Jayden.

The more I wait for Jayden to come begging me, the more I am realizing that this is gradually coming to the end of what we had.

Our contract will be terminated because I am no longer interested in it. I don't care what he says and I don't care if he sues me to court.

I lift my phone to see Romeo's number. I haven't been able to summon up the courage to give him a call. The guilt of what I did to him that night is eating me up and I don't know what he thinks of me now.

He might despise me.

A knock pulls me out of my momentarily trance and I look up to see Grandma come in.

Ever since I was came here a week ago, I haven't gone out of this room or outside the house. I am always indoors, eating, sleeping, or looking out of the window for a sight of something familiar.

My appetite has increased tenfolds since I locked myself in here and I am beginning to get worried that I will become obese at the rate at which I am eating by the time I make plans to move out.

Out to where? I don't know.

"Bella", Grandma calls softly, closing the door quietly behind her and flashing me a smile.

A smile that speaks volumes of words. A sad smile faked to be genuine.

I know the time is now. Now is the time to tell her what happened but how do I face her afterward? I told her that Jayden and I are not supposed to have sex and now they I have lost my virginity to someone she doesn't like, how will she feel?

Won't she be disappointed? Will she scold me for opening my legs wild for him? Will she understand that it was beyond my control?

Love isn't a crime like she always says. What is a crime is loving the wrong person?

I blame myself for everything except loving him. Loving him isn't a crime. It is something my heart chooses.

Confessing my love for a man whom I don't even know of his true feelings is the crime here. This is my mistake. Opening my legs for him when I should have insisted on getting things straight and having us terminate the contract to make it real is another mistake.

That is my first crime.

Grandma sits quietly on the bed, holding out my hands and letting the hairband I have been twirling my fingers on fall off my hand.

This is what has been keeping me busy aside from sleeping, eating, and looking out of the window. Twirling my hands around my hairband in remembrance of my childhood. I can't even bring myself to watch a movie because I am scared I will end up crying if the movie is an emotional one.

I just want to remain this way. Not crying. Not sad. Not happy. Just numb. Till I think of what to do next with my life.

From the look of things, Jayden has given up on me.

On us.

Was there any US in the first place? How could I have fallen for his sweet words? I thought he wasn't one to sweet-talk someone into doing something. He said he wanted me and my legs turned jelly in response.

And we had sex.

We fucking had sex. My first real sex. With my first man.

Yet, he calls this a mistake? What the fuck!

"Are you ready to talk now?" Grandma's words jerk me upright and I watch her. There are creases of concern on her face, her mouth twitching in sadness and her face in a deep frown.

I should talk to her. I should tell her. I can't keep hiding this from her. The fact that Jayden hasn't come here is enough evidence that something is amiss and she must have been trying so hard to fix the puzzles all to no avail.

I am hurt. My heart has been stomped upon. My world is crumbling beneath my feet. My head is spinning at every thought of him and what we had. My insides boil in rage when I remember what he said.

I am exhausted. I want to give up. I want to just sleep and watch the world go on without me. I want to go back to turn the hands of the clock so this shitty pain I feel won't be there because I would have made another choice.

Grandma's thumb touches my face. This is when I realize I am crying again.

The pent-up anger. The determined resolve was not to cry again. The painful feeling. The soreness of my divine palace after the sex.

Everything wants to make me cry.

"Let it out!" Grandma encourages me and it does not take me more than a minute after she said that before I burst out crying as loud as I can, my hands gripping her long gown and hugging her to myself as tight as I can, wishing this will take the pain away.

She pats my back, muttering soothing words into my ears, rubbing the other hand on my head to calm my nerves.

Just with closed eyes, his image appears. Forgetting all about Jayden and what he represents won't be possible because everything reminds me of him.

This room I am stuck in reminds me of our room and him. The food I eat reminds me of what we take for dinner in his mansion. The only clothes I have on since I got here remind me of the clothes-filled closet in his mansion and him.

Everything.

After several minutes of crying and muttering, it feels as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulder and I eventually pull away.

"Mother, forgive me", I blurt out as fast as I can. I need to say this. I need to let it out.

My head is down in embarrassment and I can't see how she is staring at me or her reaction to my request for forgiveness.

She isn't asking me why I am asking for her forgiveness. She is silent.

Holding my two hands together, I shut my eyes and open my mouth. "I had sex with Jayden."

Silence creeps in again slowly, more painstakingly. Still holding my head down, I continue. "He came to Verona to meet me because he missed me. I didn't believe him at first until he begged me not to accept Romeo, the guy I met in Verona who showed interest in me. Then he said he wanted me. I reminded him of the contract but he said he didn't care and we had sex."

At this point, I am on the verge of breaking down again but I hold it back, holding onto my clothes firmly, my eyes tightly shut.

"I'm sorry, Grandma. I shouldn't have allowed it. I shouldn't have believed him."

"What happened?" She asks instead.

I am tempted to look up to see what her reaction is. To know if she is sad or not.

I know what she is asking. She is asking what changed if he actually told me he wanted me.

"I told him I loved you and he changed ever since that night. When he came home the day we arrived from Italy, he had a different look on his face. It was as if the Jayden in Verona was different from the one in New York. He was back to being cold and he told me the sex was a mistake."

"And you ran here?" I nod and flutter my eyes open.

Without raising my head, I wait for more questions from her but none is forthcoming. "Has he called you?"

"No, apart from the first night I left home." I think this is one of the major reasons why I am sad.

No calls. No text messages. No apology. Nothing. Absolute nothing.

Just silence.

Grandma sighs and I look up finally.

"Please forgive me. I should have listened to you when you told me men can be unpredictable. I should have known…"

"My views about him changed", she mentions, cutting me short.

Unconsciously, I raise a brow. "What?"

"He was here", she vocalize, increasing my confusion. I know she is definitely talking about Jayden but when did he come here? Was he here last night? How come I didn't see his car?

"He was here two weeks ago to check up on me and to ask me some questions about you…"

"Questions?" I furrow my brows, impatient to know what she is talking about and why he was here.

"About your dream. He came to ask me about your dream", she replies, her hands holding onto mine. "It was at that moment that I began to see him in a different light. You said it was just a business agreement between you two but I kept asking myself why a man like that would be bothered about your dream when you will be separated after a year. I watched him carefully and I realized he is stuck in between two things."

"My dream?" I ask her. I am less concerned about what she is saying. I am curious to know what she meant by my dream.

What is she talking about?

She looks surprised that I am asking her that. "Why do you look surprised? Didn't he tell you?"

"Tell me what?" My every sense is alert, waiting for what this is all about.

She looks astonished and leans backward, examining my face, probably to know if I am joking or not.

I know nothing. Jayden didn't even tell me he came here. He never said anything to me about my dream. What dream? I don't even know.

"He didn't tell you about the Fashion House?" She demands again with her eyes growing large.

"Fashion House? What Fashion House?" I shake my head intermittently.

"Your Fashion House", she answers and holds my hand again, with tears brimming brightly in her eyes. "Bella's Fashion House."

Suddenly, I remember how he asked me about my dream of having a fashion house when we went to the lake house.

Slowly, my jaws drop at the realization.

****

Another update?

I will think about it.

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