Jayden's POV

Seeing her in lingerie makes the resolve to speak to her about what happened in Italy disappear into thin air.

Instead, my heartbeat increases and a lump gets stuck in my throat as I watch her approach, making me speechless.

I had a bad day and it has been making me think about all that happened in Italy and how she confessed her love for me.

I feel guilty. I feel remorseful for putting her into this situation and I want to remedy it before it is too late.

Isabella accused me of using her even before we had sex and now that we already had sex, I am beginning to think that she is right.

A relationship between us can't be possible. She needs to leave after a year.

I didn't give much thought to all of this till we landed in New York this morning and I realize that keeping her is part of using her.

I shouldn't cage her here. I shouldn't give her the thought that something more could happen between us. I don't want her to expect too much from me and then I will end up disappointing and hurting her.

Love is definitely a strong word. I know I am sexually attracted to her.

The explanation I gave to myself when I kept asking myself why I had sex with her was that she was there when I needed a woman. I have been celibate for too long and I shouldn't forget the reason for my celibacy.

Not when Helena is still showing up in my dreams.

This time, she has an expression devoid of emotions and not a crying or smiling face.

Isabella and I slept in each other's arms last night and I had a dream of Helena not smiling or crying. I don't know what to make of that but it definitely isn't a good sign.

It must probably be a reminder for me to get back on track and not ruin Isabella's life. She is only here to help me not to get broken along with me.

"How was your day?" Her hands are around my head in an embrace as her minty breath fans my face, compelling me to take her pink sweet lips which I can't possibly get enough of.

I should get enough of it. Having this kind of relationship isn't healthy for both of us. I am too broken to love another woman apart from Helena. Isabella loves me already but I couldn't bring myself to tell her the same because I know I don't feel the same way towards her.

I still love Helena and I can't love two women at a time.

I don't want to hurt Isabella. I should probably let her know how I feel. Our relationship should be a platonic one henceforth, not the usual real-couple thingy we have been doing for two nights in a row, having sex or sleeping in each other's arms.

I feel a throbbing in my trousers but I can't tell if it is because of the remembrance of the sex and how tight she was which drove me over the edge or because her hands are trailing my chest.

She was a fucking virgin. I took her virginity.

I groan inwardly as guilt sips through me and I take her hands off me with my head lowered down.

"Jayden?" The tone of concern that always get to me is in the air. "Are you ok?"

I look up, summoning up enough courage to tell her what I have in mind and what I have been thinking all morning.

Before I can talk, she takes the briefcase from me and holds my hand to lead me to a seat. This is when it dawns on me that I have been standing close to the door for over five minutes because of how star-struck I was when I saw her in this sexy lingerie.

"Did something happen at the office? Are you ok? What about the draft, has it been resolved?" She demands immediately I sit down on a sofa and she sits close to me, her hands touching me.

The touch alone does unexplainable things to my body. It sends jolts down my spine and reminds me of something that should never happen again. Something that will never happen again.

I need to get a hold of myself and my emotions. I need to think of Isabella first in this situation. I was selfish by asking her to be my bride. I have always been selfish but not anymore.

I can't destroy her. I can't be genuinely married to another woman after the vow I made to Helena. That would mean another betrayal and I might have to pay for my sins for the rest of my life.

Isabella needs to be free from this curse. From me. I am bound to be broken forever. Not to feel any compassionate emotions anymore.

"Jayden", she calls again more loudly and I stand up abruptly from the sofa, letting her hands drop from my body.

"Isabella, why did that sex happen between us?"

My back is to her and silence creeps in slowly, tempting me to turn back and see her reaction.

I really do not know how I should have started so I decided to just come out straight without beating about the bush.

I am so stupid. I am selfish and foolish. She was about to accept Romeo and I f***ing had sex with her. I should have allowed her to accept him. Maybe he would have been a better choice. At least he doesn't look broken, just bunny-looking.

The silence is killing me. I turn back abruptly to meet her intense gaze. She looks confused too.

"That sex in Italy shouldn't have happened", I rephrase, watching her calm expression. "We shouldn't have allowed it to happen. We are bound by a contract, remember?"

"I reminded you", she says softly, like someone without a care in the world. Her arms are folded around her bosom, making her cleavages more prominent.

I can't believe I boldly stated that there will be no strings attached to the contract and I have done more than go against it.

"Yes, you did but it was in the heat of the moment. I was fu***ng drunk", I try not to raise my voice as I emphasize the drunk.

I am thinking she would go berserk on me but she is still sitting down calmly.

"You were sober, Jayden", she contradicts and tilts her head sideways. "You were not that drunk. You knew what you were doing."

"I was drunk, Isabella", I cry out softly, desperate for her to see my point without having me explain everything.

She used to be understanding, right? Now is the time that I need her to be more understanding than ever before. I don't want us to drag this issue out for too long. Let's just pretend it didn't happen and continue to live our lives as normal.

"What about the next day?" Her questions pull me back to life as I stand awkwardly in front of her. "The second morning when I woke up to see an empty bed. You weren't on the bed so was the bedspread. What about how you asked me to reject Romeo because you wanted me? What about how you told me you care for me and you wanted me? Should I also talk about how you kissed me and made love to me?"

Her voice is breaking. This is it.

"I'm sorry, Isabella but this is for the best. Let's forget it."

"Are you f***ing with me?! Are you crazy? Are you insane?! I should forget that passionate night?!" She shoots to her feet, pointing fingers at me as she approaches with tears spilling down her eyes.

I don't know what to say again. I don't know if I am to pacify her and tell her that she will be greatly compensated. I haven't even told her about the surprise I have for her yet. It is supposed to come after we have resolved the problem.

"Romeo was right", she says without shouting and I hoist my head up with curiosity written all over me.

I am interested in knowing what Romeo was right about.

"He was right after all and I was wrong. My strong convictions are always wrong because I am stupid. He told me you would use and dump me but I defended you and this is happening the very next day he tried to warn me?"

I stand watching, another lump sticking in my throat.

She wipes her tears hurriedly and raises her two hands. "You know what? I am done with this shit! I am done with this facade! I am done with this sham! I am done being at the receiving end! I am leaving and no one can stop me, you shitty piece of trash!"

"What?!" I exclaim loudly, shaking my head as she walks past me. "No, Isabella!"

"Let go of me!" She yells at me, as she frees her hand from my hold. She walks to the closet and drags her suitcase out.

In a haste, I run over to her.

I can't let her leave. Not now. We still have months to round up our contract. We have gone against the contract already but we can remedy it by pretending as if we didn't go against it.

My heart beat increases at the thought of not having her around. How can I convince her to stay?

She begins to throw the clothes in the closet at me when I am close to her as she starts to cry loudly.

"Isabella, stop this, and let's talk!" I call out to her standing aside as she continues to throw all the clothes at me.

"F*** you! I hate you. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want anything from me."

"Isabella!" I try to get closer but she threatens to hit me with her suitcase. I stay back and facepalm myself.

How do I calm her down?

When I lift my head to stare at her, she has changed into a decent gown and begins to jampack the clothes on the floor into the suitcase. I rush over and she pushes me away before running to the door without the suitcase.

"Isabella!" I yell in warning so she could stop by the door and let us sort this out amicably.

Before I can get up from the floor, she is already out of the door.

****

Wow!

I'm speechless.

What just happened? Isabella is out of his mansion? Why do you think Jayden did that? Is his reason justifiable? Is Isabella overreacting and expecting too much?

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