Jayden's POV

She smiled at me.

I saw Helena. Smiling down at me until I opened my eyes to see that Helena isn't here and I am in the hospital.

The door opens and Mother rushes in after slamming the door shut. Before she can get to my side, the door opens again and Father comes in, then Gabriel and Sabrina.

I am about to ask for Isabella when she comes right through the door with her head down and her hands trembling.

"Jayden", my Mother cries and lays her head on my stomach.

They all surround me, Gabriel smiling down at me while Father holds my hand. They must have been scared. I scared them.

I was scared too. I thought I was going to die.

But I am confused now. I don't know why Helena was smiling down at me that way.

Is it because she is proud of me for inflicting such pains on myself or is it because she has forgiven me?

If she had forgiven me, then why am I not feeling any relief? I still feel like the weight of the whole world has been placed on my shoulder.

The only relief I feel is for being alive.

Isabella stands at a distance, watching me with a straight face and I wonder why she isn't coming close.

"Stop disturbing the poor boy. I think we should leave him now to rest", Father takes Mother's hand off me, coming around to the other side to get a hold of her.

I will be glad if they can leave. I just want to talk to Gabriel. He is the one I need right now. He is my confidant and the only one who understands me.

"Let's stay here", she insists, trying to get out of his hold.

"No, woman!" He snaps at her. "Let's go home. You are not his wife. His wife will stay with him and we will be back first thing in the morning. He needs to rest."

Mother falls silent and I see her shift her gaze to Isabella whose head is still lowered.

Is she crying? Did something happen between her and my mother?

"This bitch won't stay with my son", Mother grits her teeth in annoyance and I know something must have happened. I know I have to intervene.

"She will stay and you will go home. She is my wife, isn't she?" I find myself attacking her. She turns to me with hurt flashing across her expression.

I don't know if my anger is because of what she must have done to Isabella or because she is responsible for my marriage to Isabella. I married Isabella because of her and it makes me furious to know that she doesn't accept Isabella as my wife.

What the hell does she want from me?

I have concluded that I will never listen to her again. I won't do things against my will just because she wants it since she has decided to be an ingrate by not accepting Isabella when we are doing this for her happiness.

"I will stay behind too. All I need to do is just drop Sabrina off at home. She won't be able to sleep comfortably here because of the baby", Gabriel comments, and my Mother gasps.

"Your wife is pregnant?" She asks immediately, a smile replacing the hurt on her face.

I am as surprised as everyone. I never knew Sabrina was pregnant. Maybe they just discovered recently because the last time Gabriel and I met, he didn't inform me. Or maybe he did that on purpose since he knows how much I hate children.

Isabella hoists her head up and a smile appears on her face as she stares at Sabrina who isn't staring back at her.

"Congratulations", my Mother and Father congratulates her.

"Thank you", she says, her face lit up in pleasure and I feel happy for them both.

This is what they want. They have been married for seven months and it's high time they began to have babies.

I turn my face away from them all. The change in the conversation isn't helping. Since it has been shifted to the topic of babies, they should all leave.

I do not listen to what they are saying until I hear my mother attack Isabella again.

"Isn't it a month since you both got married? Have you been able to conceive yet?"

Silence falls.

No one is saying anything to defend Isabella. Not even my father.

Before I can open my mouth to cut Mother off and ask all of them to excuse me, Sabrina speaks up in defense of Isabella.

"Sometimes, it takes months to conceive, Mother. Gabriel and I have been married for seven months."

"But you were once pregnant after your first month, if you didn't have a miscarriage, you would be preparing to welcome your baby to the world by now", she insists again and they all fall silent.

"Can you leave now?" I demand and Father grabs her hand.

"You know how much he hates the talk of children, what is wrong with you?" He says to her in a low tone as they move out.

The moment they are out of the room, I sigh heavily.

Sabrina moves close to Isabella and hugs her again. She starts to cry. "It's fine."

I want to assure her that everything is going to be fine too but she isn't moving close to me.

Gabriel comes closer instead. "Man, what happened?"

He drags a cane chair to my side and flops in, waiting for me to answer.

I remain silent for a while, thinking of how to tell him what happened. I really had no idea how it happened and I didn't mean to hurt myself and end up in the hospital.

"The same thing that happened when she died", I answer, hoping he will understand while I stare into space.

In reply, he holds my hand and squeezes it tightly in assurance. I gulp loudly when I feel my eyes stinging.

She smiled at me yet I have no idea what it means. Yet I am not feeling any difference.

What is she trying to say? What message is she trying to pass across?

Her mouth was moving but I couldn't hear anything. All I saw was her beautiful smile that brightened up everywhere, except my dark side.

"You will be fine, ok?" Gabriel's voice jerks me out of my reverie.

I nod. Even though I don't believe I will be fine. It's been two years of torture. How long will it take?

He turns back to see Isabella and Sabrina talking in low tones and I follow his gaze. I feel bad for her.

I put her in this situation. I shouted at her again after days of ignoring her and making me feel like a piece of trash.

It might not be real but she is my wife for crying out loud.

I could remember how she begged me so desperately not to leave. We might not have feelings for each other but I know she cares about me.

I was a little disappointed when I got home today and she didn't greet me like she used to. But I realize I haven't been answering her greetings for days. Her refusal to welcome me today made me realize that.

I meant no word. I just didn't want to transfer my aggression to her.

Gabriel faces me again and whispers into my ears. "She told us she asked you who Helena was and you became mad and distant."

I continue to watch her. Sabrina is wiping her tears and I am wondering if she is crying because of me or because of my mother.

"Yes, she did."

Gabriel exhales deeply and silence creeps in. I want to ask him what my Mother did to Isabella so I can know how bad it is and what to do when I am out of the hospital.

But I think it will be better to do that when we are alone. Not when Sabrina and Isabella are here with us.

I begin to feel drowsy and Gabriel shoots up to his feet. "We should go. I will be back tomorrow."

I nod in understanding. He must have said he would stay behind so my mother won't oppose Isabella staying here alone with me. He needs to be with his wife who is carrying his child.

I understand that and I won't use my own situation to inconvenience any of them.

"Take care, bro", he tugs my hand again and flashes me a smile before walking to his wife.

This is the exact type of personality I love most about Gabriel. That serious and caring side of him.

"Please, take care of him. We will be here first thing in the morning. Make sure he sleeps too, he looks sleepy already", he instructs Isabella and she nods.

Sabrina gives her another hug before Gabriel does that too. He pats her on the back and gives me a final glance before walking out with his wife.

My gaze is fixed on their intertwined fingers as they walk out and it reminds me of someone.

Someone I used to hold hands with. Someone I care about so much. Someone I love touching.

My eyes begin to grow smaller and I know I can't fight the sleep.

As Isabella saunters to the cane chair where Gabriel stood up from, I try to smile at her and assure her that I am fine and I will take care of Mother tomorrow morning but I can not.

The sedative I was given is powerful. The moment her hand touches mine, sleep overtakes me.

****

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