Allie

"Where are we going?" I ask.

Lucas has had his hand on my thigh since we got into his car. His warm hold is comforting to me. It almost feels like a familiar touch at this point.

We aren't driving toward his house and I thought I was pretty clear when I said I wanted to go home with him. Did he think I meant my home?

"You'll see," Lucas says. He keeps his eyes on the road ahead of us.

Lucas turns down a dirt path and I can't remember if I've been down this road or not before. It's too dark to tell. That cautious part of my brain is screaming red flags and serial killer alerts, but that's not Lucas. He loves me and I'm probably not thinking clearly after the strange high I had back at the dinner.

I hope someone enjoys my salad.

"Can I ask you something, Allie?"

"Hmm?" I'm in a strange haze. I can't keep the smile off my face and I keep feeling the urge to giggle like an idiot. Meanwhile, the soaked underwear under my dress is getting uncomfortable and I want to take them off.

Hopefully Lucas will do that soon.

"Do you still have feelings for Ted?"

That's not what I was expecting. "No." The idea that Ted and Mark have something going on and after everything Ted said about Jadon, I couldn't stomach his face, much less harbor feelings for him.

"If he came up to you and said he wanted to marry you and all that, would you go with him?"

Is he doubting me right now? "Lucas, I want to be with you. I don't want to be with him or anyone else, for that matter."

He sighs and smiles while looking ahead of us. "Okay." He squeezes my thigh gently. "If he were to say I did something against you or try to make me look like a deadbeat—"

"Lucas." I take his hand and kiss his fingers. "No matter what, he lied to me. He sat in that hospital room and pretended that he cared about finding the person responsible for my accident."

I still hate thinking about the accident. Truthfully, I wish he would just let it go. It's pointless and I hate remembering Jadon in the intensive care with all the tubes and cords.

Lucas slows the car to a crawl and clicks my seatbelt.

"Come here."

He pulls me to his side and rests his arm around my shoulders.

Lucas lets me fumble with his radio until I find a music station that plays older songs. They're the kind my dad loves to listen to at home.

"I've been thinking lately," he says.

"You've been thinking?" I joke, but he pinches my arm.

"Do you have plans for the New Year?"

That's a few months away and no, I don't make plans for that. "Jadon watches the ball thing with my dad and is out by ten." I'm usually relaxing from the break between classes and trying out new recipes that go into my menu journal for my business.

Lucas nods and purses his lips while the road gets bumpy. We haven't passed houses for a few miles and I'm pretty sure this is a side of the lake I've never been to. At least, I think that's what I'm seeing beyond the trees to my right.

At least he knows where he's going.

"What would you think if the three of us went away somewhere special? Where would you want to go?"

That's easy. "In winter? Someplace warm."

"What about a secluded cabin with snow and a fireplace? I'd keep you warm, Allie."

And now I can imagine him taking me beside a fire and ringing in the New Year together, tangled between blankets with some sort of picturesque background with mountains and snow just outside.

"I'd like that with you."

Lucas turns down another narrow road and I clearly see the lake.

"Few people come to this side. It's an older spot and too far out for most people that just want to get in the water. My dad used to take me here when I was a kid. He tossed me off that dock." Lucas points to an old wooden dock off the side. "That's how I learned to swim."

"He threw you into the water?"

Lucas snorts. "It's only four feet deep. I was fine."

Hmm. "Don't you dare do that with my son, Lucas Kennedy," I warn him.

"Our son," he winks. He parks and shuts off the engine. Lucas pulls me out through his side and helps me to my feet before he skips to the trunk.

"What are we doing?"

"You'll see," he says. Again. He grabs a small speaker and slams the trunk closed. His face turns pale, but maybe it's the moonlight.

I think the moon is full and I won't admit it, but I'm pretty sure that's when werewolves and whatnot come out to eat people. I would rather just not, to be honest. He better keep me safe.

Clearly, I am as nervous as Lucas and am looking for ways to sabotage myself. I need to stop overthinking. Maybe his hand isn't shaking, and mine is. That's more reasonable to assume, although it feels like it's coming from him.

I avoid tripping on rocks while he leads us toward this dock and we hit the end, overlooking this part of the lake. The still water sits beautifully, with the night sky reflecting off the top like a mirror. The occasional sound of tiny waves hit the posts under this old wooden dock. Lucas turns on his speaker and plays a slow song for us.

He can be sweet, but it always comes attached to some sort of ulterior sexual motive, so I feel like I have to be on guard sometimes. Not in a bad way, I just am always prepared for him to lift a skirt or lower my pants at random for the sake of this fun relationship he's created.

A quiet dock beside a lake at night with no one else around for miles seems like the perfect place he would take me to just to get me naked.

"Umm." He clears his throat and holds a hand out for me. "Allie, will you..."

Oh, my god.

"Dance with me?"

Oh. That half of a second I thought something–no. I'm just crazy. It's the dress I'm wearing and his suit.

Smiling, I take his hand and delight in the sparks between us. "Yes." He breathes out a sigh with a smile on his face, as if he thought I would say no to that.

Lucas holds me tight against him as he leads us around the dock while Dan + Shay serenade us in our tiny bubble of Lucas and Allie. I feel like a teenager right now out with the sweet football player boy. At the same time, he doesn't look like a boy, and I've seen him interact with our son with the maturity of a father. The way he holds me tight introduces the possibilities of having these moments I've missed out on these past few years. Lucas will give me every experience I wanted but never got to have because I didn't want to be a terrible mom. He's changing the way I see things–especially myself.

I look forward to our forever.

My heart squeezes in my chest when Lucas gently kisses my shoulder, sending shivers down my spine.

"You're absolutely beautiful, Allie, and I knew that the first minute I saw you at that party all those years ago."

I want to say something smart back, but I can't form words right now with these emotions building up with every realization. My cheeks get hot and my eyes burn with a need to water.

Lucas' shaky voice is just like his hands, and I don't know if I should be nervous or excited. Part of me dreads this moment ending in case he hurts me in the end.

I don't think I could survive Lucas Kennedy breaking my heart.

"I know you and I aren't perfect, Allie, but this moment feels like it to me."

I swallow a lump in my throat. "Me too."

He leans back and cups my cheek. Lucas slows us to a slow sway with his other hand on my hip. His eyes shine in the moonlight, and I study every inch of his face while he licks his lips.

"Allie, I'm not sure how to explain it, but when I touch you, it's like waking up for the first time and I'm seeing things clearly. Being with you feels like the most natural thing to me. We can be ourselves together and accept one another for the little imperfections the other has. It's just... real."

My stomach flips, and heart races with anticipation for every word from his lips.

"When I get to kiss you or you smile at me or laugh, my heart beats differently than it ever has. You bring me life, Allie, and you made life. Jadon is the perfect mix of us and I look forward to all the babies we make together after him. You and Jadon? You're both home to me, Allie, and I won't ever let you go."

Lucas swallows, and I stop breathing. "Allie, I don't say it without meaning it and knowing it deep down. I love you and you're everything to me."

He takes shuddered breaths and I'm thinking he might ask me...

Is he?

"Uh," Lucas smiles and looks down at our feet and I find myself on my toes, waiting. Hoping. Hanging on to every sound he makes.

He's going to ask me. This is the perfect spot, and it's beautiful and we both look nice and he said all those nice things.

Lucas takes a step back from me, and I bite my tongue from shouting a premature yes. He needs to ask first.

Those tears I was trying to hold back are pricking my eyes and one escapes.

Lucas pats his pants down and shoves his hands into his pockets. I bite down on my lip, hoping I don't look too excited. Or like I'm expecting anything.

Shoot, I hope I don't look crazy.

"Uh." Lucas pats down his pockets again and looks around on the ground with his brow furrowed and lips pursed. The smile and bright look in his eye fades.

What's he doing?

"Lucas?" His eyes snap back to me and he is in full-blown panic. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he blurts. I notice the anger flash across his face. Lucas takes a deep breath and I can see whatever moment we were having disappeared. "I thought I felt something weird in my pocket." He bites off a curse under his breath.

The butterflies die in my stomach. I thought he was going to ask me to marry him.

Maybe I was misreading it all.

"Come on," he says while pulling my hand. "Let's get out of here." His mood turned sour within seconds, and Lucas is not himself right now. Lucas is always happy and stupidly upbeat. Now he's just not.

"Are you okay?"

He forces a smile and nods. "Yeah, it's all good," he clips.

It most certainly is not "all good." He was smiling while professing his love thirty seconds ago. What changed?

Did I do something wrong?

"Are you just dropping me off at home?" He's angry and I'm wondering if it is me. I'm not sure. I haven't seen Lucas angry like this before. His forehead creases and jaw has a residual tick that my dad gets when his teams lose a game.

Something like disgust flashes across his face when I ask him. "What? No." He squeezes my hand and marches us back to his car.

Maybe he just wanted to dance and tell me he loved me.

I'm okay with that.

But... I also thought he was going to propose. Guess that was just stupid on my part.

Lucas grumbles something to himself all the way back to his car.

"Asshole." He shakes his head. "Ruined a fucking perfect night."

I hope he doesn't mean me. Truly, I thought this was perfect. Where did it go wrong?