I sat still trying to lash myself before leaving out to run a few errands. It amazes me how talented I have become with this lash shit.

I finished the last finishing touches before heading into my room. I grabbed my purse and slipped on my crocs.

"Let's go Maj!" I said walking to the door with him behind me. He got in the passenger seat while I got in the driver's seat. I rubbed his head before driving to Starbucks to get his spoiled ass a pup cup. Bad ass ate my Chanel sandals he don't deserve shit. After Starbucks we met with some people who were potential lash vendors. Sadly I wasn't feeling their lashes though.

"Maj we building you a bed. I'm sick of your grown ass sleeping with me." I mumbled to him pulling up to Home Depot.

"Let's go big baby." I said causing him to jump out the truck into my arms making me stumble. This not no 2 pound Yorkie. Damn dog weigh more than me. We went in and I put him in a basket getting wood, paint, and tools. I never did this on my own but I got an extra room that's about to become Major's room.

We checked out and headed home. I took my time setting up his television and dresser that contained his bathing supplies as well as his brush, collars, leashes, dog cologne, and clothes. I cut animal planet on for him while I began building his bed.

"Major you spoiled boy." I said out of breath. His bed took me 2 almost 3 hours. I had to put his toys in the box and his feeding station up as well.

"You like big boy?" I asked watching him bark wagging his tail.

I walked into my room laying down after washing my hands.

(Kleo's interior)

"Babyyyyy guess what!"

"What Kian?"

"You the prettiest girl in the whole world." He smiled pulling me closer.

"Oh yeah?"

"Hell yes! I'm so lucky we got married. I'm not perfect but you make me feel perfect." He expressed kissing me before Major jumped in the bed causing me to laugh.

"Major you trying to block."

"He is." Silas said pulling me on top of him. I snuggled my face in his neck getting comfortable as Major did the same in my spot.

"I love you." I mumbled to Silas stroking his beard.

"I love you so much more baby. I really do." He squeezed.

"I can't wait to see what our future holds."

"Me making it up to you in every way possible for kidnapping you and being an asshole. My mind was everywhere and I just wanted you. I needed you baby. You make me better, softer. You make me over protective too though meaning that soft spot on for you. I'll kill the whole world to protect you." He said rubbing my scalp.

This was before I found out what happened between him and that girl he cheated with. Life seemed perfect or damn near perfect. We was married and expecting a baby that was a surprise. I snapped out of my reminiscing day dream and just stared at the ceiling.

I wish Silas was here. I wish our son was here. I wish I felt less lonely. I read that I am not lonely and never will be. I have God by my side and I may not see him but I can feel him.

I know I'm the one to blame for Silas leaving. I was mean when Messiah was found. It was my fault yet I was so mean. It's my fault I'm lonely. If I trusted in Silas Messiah would still be here. Instead I tried to do shit alone and it bit me in my ass. Then once we discovered Messiah's body I became unaware of how mean I got. The aggressive term "I hate you" being thrown out so much I can't honestly say when the last time I had told him I love him. The many times I fought him and he did nothing but tried to stop me. I use to fight him while he was sleep too. I even tried to poison him.

So in a way all this shit is on me. Hush dead to me. Block. Once Silas left he started changing.

"Hey bab-!What's wrong Kleo?" I heard Ryan ask rushing to me. I realized I was breaking down crying.

"It's all my fault."

"Stop blaming yourself. We discussed this. Yes you were wrong as hell in the situation especially when he was trying to be there for you. It happened and his ass left for 2 almost 3 years. You can't beat yourself up over this forever."

"I hurt him so bad Ryan. So bad." I cried out.

She sighed taking her shoes off climbing in bed. She held me as I cried in her chest.

"Are you done? I brought Chinese so we could watch Rush Hour." She mumbled causing me to laugh.

"Yes I'm done. I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing for your emotions of something you haven't healed from? You went through hell of a lot. Those traumatic situations have not been solved yet. I'm not mad. You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I love you Ryan."

"I love you too Kleo. Your niece in there with Major laying in his bed like it's her's." I laughed because Miracle is something else.

"I feel like we need a girls' day. We get our hair, nails and toes done, shopping, waxes, and dinner." Ryan said smiling.

"Umm I don't know."

"Bitch! You haven't done none of those in years." She pointed out.

I guess she's right.

"Fine." I said half smiling.

We sat up watching Rush Hour while eating our Chinese food. When her and Miracle left, I took some pills to help me sleep and get my mind off shit. I was out in less than 10 minutes. I guess I'll re-up when I go back towards Silas trap house.