I laid in the built in library reading in the bay window as it rained. It was 11:49, 11 minutes until our anniversary. We haven't really talked since the argument. He was out currently working. I was fine with just reading in my own world though. One of my favorite hobbies: reading and writing.

I heard the alarm go off indicating he was home. That's hilarious he been gone since 5 this morning now he wants to return. I got comfortable snuggling under the warm blankets as the heater blew heat. This is a vibe to me. I let the soft jazz music play in the background as I read poetry.

I started to imagine. What if I had a love like Love Jones? Where the casualties turned into normal everyday life that never got tiring, that felt like a fairytale because I'm just so in love..... Even that fairytale was almost a tragedy though.

"Lil bit?" I heard snapping me out my thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"I been looking for you. I been home for an hour. You look pretty. Thanks for dinner."

"No problem and thanks."

"So... what you doing?"

"Reading." I know he see the book in my fucking hand. The fuck it look like I'm doing, planting a garden?

"Mind if I join?"

I simply got up allowing him to lay down first before getting in between his legs. He wrapped his arm around me instantly.

"Poems... you still into poetry huh?"

"Yes. Read me one."

"Bet." He mumbled looking through the pages.

"I can't describe the sound of her voice

The music in her lungs

Or the rose pedals in her walk

But I imagine that her words

Are like fig leaves

That dance to the sound of opinions that refuse to be silenced

The conviction in her sentences

Can make an ocean question beauty of its own waves

I bet the stars spend hours in the mirror

Getting pretty

Putting on extra sparkle

Hoping that she will notice them in the moonlight

I imagine the morning gets jealous whenever she wakes up at noon

I bet the knees of twilight buckle whenever she compliments a sunset

I bet the streetlights shine a little bit brighter

Simply because she is standing underneath them

I bet the sidewalk plays a symphony

Just to make sure that her feet have something to listen to in between steps

I can't describe the sound of her voice

The music in her hugs

Or the rose pedals in her walk

But I know

I know that she is more than just another piece of land waiting to be claimed

She is an acoustic guitar

Waiting patiently for the hands that have been trained to hold her properly

She is a wind chime inside of a culdesac

And her skin is a melody

That very few men will have the pleasure of hearing." He read "My Favorite" by Rudy Francisco, full of emotions. He slowly closed the book.

"Lil bit... what are we doing?"

"I dunno." I shrugged.

"I love you. I ain't been the best I know. I'm sorry boo. I really want to make this work. I want you to want me the way I want you. I want you to crave me how I crave you. I'm sorry. I get jealous of how you act with Hush, because you treat me like cold turkey. I want to be the one you kiss a midnight, the one you dance on, the one you vent and cry to. I want to be your person the same way you was my person when I had nobody." He said with tears in his eyes.

"You kidnapped me and forced a marriage. Plus a baby. You ruined everything back then and instead of trying and fighting... You was afraid of your ego being bruised. You not even trying now... We don't go on dates, have deep conversations, laugh, nor vibe."

"I'll fix it all. Just give me the opportunity. Please."

I thought long and hard... I mean we married right? Might as well try. Right?

"Fine Kian. One chance."

"You won't regret it. Only thing is, I deserve to be your best friend. To know shit nobody knows."

"Okay." Razz gone hate this. We were supposed to run away. Now look at me letting the devil in.

"We can hold on a baby."

"Huh?" I turned around so quick.

"We can wait... I know that's not what you want right now so let's wait. When you ready we can. I'll tell Esteban something."

I guess he serious about this. Silas putting a hold on money for an improved marriage. That makes me want to pop this pussy open and give him a baby.

"Come lay with me upstairs?"

"I'll be up in a minute."

"Okay I'll wait for you then." I thought he was playing, but when I realized he wasn't moving I closed my book going upstairs with him behind me.

I got comfortable laying in the bed. Silas laid beside me. We looked at the ceiling in silence.

"I want to go back to school... I want my teaching degree..." I mumbled.

"Back? You went to college?"

"Yes... I wanted to be a high school English teacher. I dropped out my last semester. It was time consuming. I was thinking about leaving the modeling world."

"That's crazy, I got an offer to coach basketball at Piedmont Highschool."

"That's crazy."

"I think you should go back."

"Maybe." Maybe not.

"We gone make this work. I'm willing to do whatever."

"We'll see."

"I had set up a fun event for you and your girls... Paint and sip."

"Really?"

"Yeah, then I found a poetry/spoken word cafè for us to go to together. I signed you up to present one of your pieces." He said rubbing my back as I faced him.

"Wow. Thank you Kian. Thank you a lot." I smiled lightly. We laid there just staring at one another smiling. Kleo, be nice this time and try with him.

"I got a lot planned for this month. I hope you're ready. I was thinking New Orleans this spring and possibly Hawaii this summer?"

"We can plan something. A nice baecation."

I talked and talked until I fell asleep in his arms.