"Hi mom."

"Hi sweetheart. I've been meaning to call but you know how hectic it can get over here. We've been planning since last month to get the fundraiser up to standards."

"Yeah mom I know, it's okay. I've been busy with so many assignments and projects so I didn't really mind it."

"Yeah, so how's Veronica? I haven't seen her in a while."

"She's good..."

My heart skipped a beat as I was caught off guard by my mom's question. I knew that she would eventually ask about Roni since we were best friends and roommates and she hadn't see her when they had gotten home that Sunday afternoon.

"Oh... I hardly hear from her, so I just thought."

"We're fine mom... I'm gonna have to talk to you later."

" Wait, Carol?"

"Yes mom?" I asked, wanting nothing more than to get rid of her.

"You would talk to me if something was the matter, right?"

"Of course." I lied.

"Okay sweetheart, love you."

"Love you too mom."

I took a deep breath as my heart started racing for some unforeseen reason. I threw myself onto the bed and closed my eyes as I processed my life, a thing I did way too often. When they reopened I was surprised to see Brian as he walked into my dorm room.

"Oh my gosh! Dude? What the hell?" I yelled as I hurriedly grabbed the sheet and wrapped it around myself.

"Aren't we pass this by now?"

"Seriously? You walk in on me wearing little to nothing and that's what you say?"

"Oh baby, it's not my first time." He responds and smirks as he sits on the edge of my bed.

I laughed at his boldness and I allowed the sheets to fall from around me, exposing the black bra and undies I had on. Brian smirked at me and I had the overwhelming urge to tease him. I grabbed the first shirt I found and pulled it on before I rejoined him on the bed.

"So are you back at school?" I asked as I sat down.

"Yeah, principal Henry gave me three days suspension and Anthony got a week."

"Only a week? He deserves expulsion."

"Oh come on Carr, don't be so cruel. He's a good guy, it's just that he doesn't know how to handle his anger issues."

"Are you seriously defending him?"

"No, there is no excuse for his actions, but I'm just saying don't destroy his life because of it."

"I could have been dead Brian! He could have destroyed my life." I shouted, shocked that he was defending that dirtbag.

"Look, sweetie, let's not get into an argument okay."

"Fine." I took a deep breath and laid back on the bed. I really didn't want to argue with my only friend, given the fact that I had just gotten him back and the last three days was hell without him. Brian soon joined me and we just laid there in comfortable silence until he had to disrupt it.

"Ew, dude did you just fart?" I shrieked as I tried to get off the bed and away from the horrendous scent. I screamed as he pulled me into his embrace, forcing me to smell it and I almost gagged at the stench.

"If you love me you'll just let this be." Brian says soothingly as he pins me down.

I try with all my might to push him off and conserve my little oxygen but he was too strong. I ended up laughing and screaming all at the same time as the odor washed over me.

"Oh my gosh Brian, you're so despicable." I shout and hit his arm as he finally released me.

"Hey, if you ever ask me to smell your bottom, I gladly would."

"Ew, you're so nasty." I laugh and try to smother him with my pillow.

"So." He continues as he lies next to me and uses his arm as a head prop. "What's been going on with you and Ron? Haven't seen or heard from her since I got back."

"Ah, I don't really know. I guess she's okay but we haven't really spoken since that day."

"How can you live with someone and not talk to them?" He asks shock.

I felt weird talking about her since we actually haven't said anything after what happened in the library and honestly, I was still mad at her for the way she treated me the past month. We both pretended that what happened in the library never took place and once again I had no one to talk too.

"Are you still talking to Anthony?" I counter, trying to change the topic.

"Nah. I requested a new roomie."

"Oh-"

We spent the next few hours talking and laughing since it was a Friday afternoon and we didn't have anything else to do for the weekend.

------------

I awoke to the quiet clicking of the door and thinking it was Brian that snuck out on me I got up to see that it was Roni who had just walked in.

"Sorry." She whispers, I didn't mean to wake you.

"It's okay, I've been sleeping a while... Did you see when Brian left?"

"No, sorry. He's probably at Chris's party."

"Oh... Right, I forgot about that."

"Are you going?"

"No, I'm done with parties for a while."

"Yeah... Me too."

We both just looked at each other as if we both knew what had happened at the last party and for a second there, I thought that we did but I hadn't seen her until she had stormed into and out of the house and so she couldn't have known what he did to me. I was about to head into the bathroom when Roni stopped me. Her soft, once innocent voice, was enough for me to want to listen and the need and longing that sounded rendered me immobile.

"Carr please, we need to talk."

"Roni, I just... I can't." My voice was starting to crack and I had no intention of being vulnerable in front of her, not now, not ever. After having fun with Brian I really didn't want to have this conversation right now.

"I know you hate me for the things I said to you that night but you have to understand, I didn't mean-"

"You didn't mean what, huh? You didn't mean for it to sound so cruel? Or for me to know the truth? The truth about how you really feel about me. How I was 'molesting' you and how I was 'disgusting'? What else is there to tell me, huh Roni? What other dispicable thing do you have to say about me?"

"Carr, you have to understand, I only said those things under duress-"

"It doesn't matter how or why you said it. The main fact was that those words came out of your mouth and no one had to tell them to you. Matter fact, I'm sure you were just dying to tell me them, weren't you?! Ever since me and Darcy, you've never wanted to accept the fact that I was different. You couldn't handle the fact that your best friend was a lesbian, so you used me and then you made me fall for you... And if that wasn't enough, you said the worst thing possible, ensuring that the wounds you inflicted, could never heal."

"Carr."

"I did nothing to you Ron. I loved you, you! But if you wanted no part in this, I would have happily let you walk away. Instead, you made me feel like shit and then you took away every last friend that I had. If that wasn't bad enough, you had your boyfriend torment me for so long and then you just used me in the library for your own selfish pleasure. Every thing you do is for your own gain and you couldn't care less about the people involved... Damn it Roni, I hate you so much for hurting me."

At this point, all my energy was slowly draining away and I felt like I would have a full blown panic attack. My heart was racing, my head was spinning and I had blurred visions. All the sounds I was hearing was zoning in and out and I just felt utterly shattered. My voice was cracking, tears were streaming down my face and I literally couldn't breathe.

Was this my official heartbreak?

"Carr, please let me explain myself." Roni said and at the sound of her cracking voice I looked up.

She was standing at her desk, hands wrapped around her and I could see her struggling to contain her emotions.

She doesn't get to be emotional. She wasn't the one that had to endure over a month of pain, torture and terrorization. She wasn't the one that spent most of her days alone and most of her nights crying herself to sleep. No! She was the one that spent her days by her man and her nights wrapped in his arms. She ruined me and now she expected me to just jump to her rescue and put her out of her misery?