A day after conveying me to Ya Hamid's house, a lot of people left while others stayed until . I was so glad they kept me company for that long.

And throughout those days, I couldn't see Ya Hamid. Some said he used to come from time to time but would stay in the boys-quarters, while others said he had never set his foot in the house ever since I was brought in.

I didn't know who to believe in though but all I know is I was happy we hadn't met yet, I didn't want him to unleash his anger on me. I heard he wasn't happy about the wedding too.

Well we were married by force, how on this earth do you expect any of us to be so happy? My own case was that, I wanted to further my education before thinking about getting married.

As for love, I wouldn't say I didn't love him because I didn't even know how it felt to fall in love. But one thing is certain, I didn't hate him. He had been a very good cousin to me for so long.

When I was a kid, he would always call me chukula (small girl) because I had small body, and would always laugh at me while I cry. He was same age with my late elder brother, Kabir.

We had the same paternal grandparents and our relationship was so strong, sometimes we would spend holidays in each other's domiciles.

But now that we were married, I felt like we weren't cousins anymore but strangers. How I wished I could reverse time back so I could runaway before they even tie the knot, I could always come back later.

...

Ya Hamid's house was a very big one, a storey and I couldn't imagine the millions he spent building it. There was no room without classic air-conditioning or interior designs, they were all perfect.

His room was just after mine on the top floor, they were both wide and more fancier. Then another room after his, which I presumed was for the future kids. The rest of the rooms however were downstairs, together with the kitchen, store, sitting room, dining island and workout room.

I managed to check everywhere in the house except for the boys-quarters. By the way, it seemed locked. One thing I loved about the entire house was that everything was new and sparkling. There was also a swimming pool in the garden, just after the rose flowers.

After scrutinizing the exterior of the house, I went back inside and began preparing for dinner. Since I was the only one in the house now, whatever I would cook had to be small to avoid wastage.

Thanks to Ya Hamid's sister, Aunt Bahijjah, she taught me a lot of things throughout her stay in the house. How to manage things, take care of her brother, and how to accept everything as the best for me. She was very kin to me, more than I had ever known her to be.

She told me if she was the one in my shoes, she would never even cry about the marriage because many had rounded up their schools without someone to get married to. While many were crying for life partner at some stage in the University.

According to her, she also needed a husband even though she was yet to round up her program. But whenever she brought the issue up, their mother would tell her to finish school first since she had chosen schooling.

Her words inspired me and made me even more stronger, but nothing changed the fact that I was still interested in schooling and was still scared of coming in contact with Ya Hamid. It wouldn't be easy, and by the way he didn't just love me. Or did he?

Rahmat Ali was allover his heart, she had dominated everywhere and I wouldn't blame him for loving her that much because she was extremely beautiful. The first time I saw her, he had brought her to my parents to see her. My father was his father's younger brother.

Rahmat Ali was praised by even my parents because she looked like a decent person, plus her beauty was something to write home about. Even after she left, my parents couldn't stop talking about her and how lucky Ya Hamid was. We were all happy for him.

...

While washing the chicken I recently pulled out of the fridge for dinner, I began hearing the sound of the gate. Who could that be? I asked myself as I rinsed my hand and headed out of the kitchen to check whom it was.

Just as I opened the door and looked towards the gate, I found Ya Hamid driving into the house. One of his friends had opened the gate for him. In normal circumstances, I was supposed to welcome him right? Just like in the movies, etc but I wouldn't.

Why would I even do that? I was really scared, hence I turned back inside and headed back into the kitchen island while panting. They were four in number, he and his friends, which means I would have to increase the quantity of whatever I was going to cook.

I heaved a sigh and gulped, thinking about everything my mother told me while asking myself if I was ever ready for all of it. I mean, taking care of a man, cooking for him daily, submitting myself to his will, doing this and that for him...

I was just 17 for God's sake, how do they expect me to take care of someone that was 11 years than me? Like seriously? I heaved another sigh and continued with what I was doing, cooking!

I washed the chicken and microwaved it, after that I cooked a delicious spaghetti and fetched some into one of the big warmers I found in the kitchen. And after arranging everything, I conveyed them one after the other to the dining island while still wearing my apron like a chef.

I hoped things goes well!

***************

Guys, please am I going well? My heart is telling me I'm messing up.